Cost of living. I'm having a meltdown tonight.

[TwentyTwenty20]

I put my heating on for an hour or so this morning because I forgot to dry my son's school uniform, and my landlord won't let me install a tumble dryer. It cost me an extra £2. I didn't put my heating on until January last year. We lived under the duvet until then. I got my son changed under the covers. I used to just get in the bath and stay there in the evening to keep warm. I'm a lone parent, I take home £2100 a month and get £140 UC, £96 child benefit. My rent is £1000 a month. Council tax £150 with SP discount. Electric, gas, petrol, car insurance, Internet, school uniform, food, life insurance, water bills, £130 on before and after school clubs so I can work, then there's failed MOT which I had to put on a credit card which I'm paying off, tv license, phone bill etc. Then there's life and scraping by so my son can continue his gymnastics hes been doing since he was 2. Council is awful and you can't apply for any of the cost of living stuff unless they have 'identified you'. I've done income and expenditure with a professional and they've said I've pretty much cut back as far as I can. They fine tooth combed my bank statements. How is the amount I make not enough? I have applied for 6 cheaper houses in the last month and none will rent to me. I'm 400 and something on the list for council housing. 10 years ago I was on 18k a year and comfortable and saving.

Will this ever get better? That's a genuine question because I can do all the cutting back I can but if I keep getting knocked back for cheaper housing and higher paid jobs I just don't know how I will go on. It is no life and I don't enjoy getting out of bed in the morning anymore.

Mines £407 so these figures blow my mind. Love the North 😂

I'm sorry but it's total BS that OP should need to move - the house seems appropriate for a mother and a child - having to share/downgrade from a small 2-bed house means the system is totally broken. I also think as a small family the OP needs the stability of a private, secure space for her child - not sharing with people who might randomly go in and our of his life.

@TwentyTwenty20 I know this might be hard, but depending on what sort of relationship you have with your manager/work, I'd also consider having a very frank discussion with them about how they could help you. I manage a large team of people and in the last year I have had several chats with staff about their personal circumstances, and I have bent over backwards to accommodate requests that make things a bit easier for people. For example, I allowed one parent to work longer hours leading up to half term so they could take off a few extra days when schools were closed and didn't need to pay for extra childcare; I allowed another person to wfh more so they could save on travel costs. We installed nice bath products and suchlike in the communal showers in the building so people could shower there instead of using hot water at home. At Christmas, I did an anonymous poll and asked people whether they wanted a voucher payment in lieu of a Christmas party that year (they did). When we had a small budgetary underspend at March, I got all the staff £25 M&S vouchers. It's not a huge thing, but after so many people approached me I figured anything is a plus.

Sometimes if people know you are struggling they will try their best to help, but I know asking for help can be hard

Blame successive governments who have failed to remove the "benefits trap" aspects of permitted work, set rent caps, legislate living wage, etc, not the commenter who is simply making the OP, who is desperate enough to consider letting men buy sexual access to her body, aware of an option that she has.

@Cowlover89

Do you think everyone is lying?
Here you are, I randomly selected a place (Luton because comedians always put it down).

2 bedrooms: £1,200 pcm

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/140767940#/?channel=RES_LET

£1,000 pcm

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/140198039#/?channel=RES_LET

Studio: £650 - STUDIO

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/140852540#/?channel=RES_LET

Hi, sympathy to you OP you are doing your very best and have every right to feel ground down by circumstances.

Re the tumble dryer/landlord issue, apologies if this has already been suggested (haven't RTFT just your posts) but I once read a thread on here where a mumsnetter swore by having her (condenser) tumble dryer in a bedroom and not downstairs - she said it meant that she benefitted from the excess warmth generated as it was running and then clothes were already upstairs and ready to fold and put away using the bed as your sorting/folding surface. This blew my tiny mind, I had literally never considered having appliances anywhere but downstairs 😂I don't know if this is an option for you but just thought I'd mention in case.

Sending you strength and hoping something good happens for you soon x

Op I am guessing you live somewhere like Northampton where rents have gone insane in the last 2 years due to the London proximity. Less than an hour to London on train. Less than 45 mins from Wellingborough. Bus services are not great if you need to get from Nn3 to say Nn4 for schooling.

Ex council housing renting for 1200 a month in the NN3 area. It’s hard to get a house for under £950.

Forgot to add his dad earns over 40k a year but works for his friend and declares 16k a year so I get a whopping £7 a week from him.

Shocking. How can these men live with themselves?

we don't need to assume anything, if you'd even bothered to just read ops posts you'd know that she receives a whole £7 through cms as her ex under reports earnings, and that despite reporting it nothing is being done. But that's the problem with posters like you, you assumed that op wasn't trying to make her ex responsible and your posts where extremely Patronising.

Same 🤣🤣

Where did I say people are lying? I just think it's crazy and glad I live in the north

the blunt truth here is £1000 a month rent is extortionate!

Im shocked that people are shocked by this tbh! My ds lives in a one bed flat in Manchester and pays £850 pcm. It's pretty normal nowadays. Restrictions and interfering with the private housing market means landlords are selling up in droves or having to increase rents to cover their backs - this combined with practically no social housing being built for years and years means there is very little available which has driven prices up and up.

Hahahaha of course they've been 'dobbed in.' Do you think my friends just said 'why should he pay child maintenance, the poor soul?'

Precisely nothing has happened. There are about 4 people working for the Inland Revenue in total anway so this is hardly surprising. Anyone can pretty much get away with anything - it's only people on benefits who get a hard time.

@RosaBaby2 I'm North too. I think if your rents £407 it'd because its council. Many many houses are £1000 and more in the North if private LL

East midlands rents. Locals - yes that is Northampton house renting for £1000 a month. Semilong £1050 a month. Single parent families especially are really struggling.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/140777594#/?channel=RES_LET

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86320713#/?channel=RES_LET

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/140636654#/?channel=RES_LET

I've just had a look at some of the dodgier places in Manchester and can't find anything for £400pcm!

@Cowlover89

The Luton ones are interesting as they are not much more than Northamptonshire now

ive listed them in a separate post, but olio for food could make a rather large difference.
also let’s not be shitty in tone, I’m trying to help the op I’m not being horrible.

I'm in the north too, and 2 bed houses round us for private tent start at around £700, the few of them there are. Local authority( council) rents for a 2 bed are over £400!

@Pigtailsandall this is really kind of you as a colleague. I wish I worked with you!!!! I’m sure they appreciated these gestures and I hope op can approach her manager for extra support. Xo

I thought most people were on meters now, but so you mean unit costs for water differs across the country? I suppose they do, but I’m in the south east and would assume that my unit costs would be one of the most expensive in the country (everything else is). So it’s still worth her checking if they’re using up to date readings.

Why do people say move house as if moving house is free and you don't need spare cash for the actual move. Then you're stuck in something even less suitable and have to move in a few years again anyway.

OP, you sound like you are struggling and I’m sorry things aren’t looking better in the short term.

I haven’t read all the replies, only yours, so I don’t know if it’s been mentioned. We have a tumble dryer where water accumulates in a drawer which then needs emptying between uses. So the tumble dryer itself doesn’t need plumbing.

People banging on about the rent, i think I saw op is in the southeast/close to London. £1000 for a 2 bed is pretty reasonable. You can’t compare the north, in pretty much everything including gas and elec costs/council tax costs and petrol costs etc. everything is more expensive down here.
(I’m northern living in the south east 😂 so I’ve had experience of both)

This is the cheapest 2 bed house available to rent in Leeds, in an inner city suburb (actually not a bad area although never going to be anywhere the average Mumsnetter would choose to live). It's a tiny back to back terrace and the second bedroom is in the loft and you can't stand up in most of it. It's £650 pm, so cheaper than the OPs house, but well above £400 pm that PPs seem to think is average. Even in undesirable areas typical rents for this type of property seem to average £7-800 pm.

2 bedroom terraced house for rent in Pinder Street, Wortley, Leeds, LS12 (rightmove.co.uk)

Your calculator is not broken, I don’t know what the other posters are trying to achieve. It does come to that amount, and I agree you haven’t said you’re under, you’ve said things are tight. I really hope you’re ok and can figure things out. It’s really tough times.