How am I supposed to do this without being in debt?

[orangepinkblue]

I thought I earned a decent amount. Take home is 3,200.

Mortgage around 1,000. This is far better than rent round here.
Car finance (yes I need car for work!), 290.
Childcare full times, 1,400.
Credit card payments (interest free) 80.
Travel to and from work, 150 a month.

Last year energy costs were around 250 a month in winter. I don’t know what I’m going to do? I have no partner and don’t seem to have any access to other support due to my income. Things like car tax, insurance for car and home, food, petrol, I don’t know how I will manage this?

Speak to your energy company, some offer 3 month cheaper bills for those struggling.
check you are claiming everything you’re entitled to
get onto CSA
Any chance you can reduce hours into less days or work a portion of it from home
Could you carshare your commute by taking it in turns

Your childcare costs are what's absolutely fucking you over. If that's AFTER tax free childcare, your childcare bill must be £80 a day?! Is there anywhere cheaper you can send them even if it's only part of the week?

Will you qualify for any free hours come April when the rules change?? It's a little way off but at least it's coming. Our bill halves come April with the 15 hours rollout and then drops again in September when he gets the 30 hours.

Other than that;

We use work discounts on everything we can.
I have a blue light card.
I do mystery shops for a company so that pays for an odd meal out eg.
DH does various bits of research and gets 40/50 per time

It's not much but it adds up.

Childminders are much cheaper than nurseries.

The childcare expense is temporary. All you can do is weather it as best you can knowing you'll get some respite when the 30 hours start then proper relief when school starts.

Absolutely put in a child support claim

And the childcare costs are only going to be so high for a year or so. So this really is the worst possible moment

@Willyoujustbequiet hi where have you seen this? Unfortunately he is quite a rotten individual and despite me having tried my absolute best to be civil to him, he has been extremely unpleasant in response. He owns two homes and has over 100k savings when we were together which was 3 years ago.

@Flickersy please find me a safe car for cheaper. This was the best I could find at the time. I assure you it’s nothing glamorous!

Yes I know, that was my point. I think you meant to quote a different poster.

@Flickersy yes sorry! I thought I had tagged the chain

Posters saying go after the father… I already tried to claim and they said savings aren’t taken into account.

It sounds strange but I was better off working fewer hours and paying less childcare and getting a bit of UC / council tax reduction.

They are school age so work full time now. The mortgage is a bugger though mines has gone up to 1k used to be £650 and I’m really feeling the difference. I’m going to extend I think to bring the payments down.

Also recommend moneysavingexpert.com. They do a money makeover where you go through your whole budget. Takes time but well worth it in terms of money saved. The whole site is worth a look.

How old is your child? If you were together 3 years ago is your child 3 or approaching 3 so you can get the 30 funded hours?

Much against my instincts I think I'd try to guilt trip the paternal grandparents, either to help out financially themselves or to put pressure on their layabout son. Distasteful, but in your fairly desperate circumstances it's worth a shot.

One of the greatest scams perpetrated on resident parents is they have to pay all this every expensive childcare while NRP pays fuck all.

Even if he was paying maintenance the cost of childcare wouldn't be a factor in how much he pays. It's grossly unfair.

Are you using a nursery for childcare and if so could you switch to a childminder? There are some wonderful childminders around and it might cost less.

www.gov.uk/government/news/government-launches-new-crackdown-on-parents-who-refuse-to-pay-child-maintenance

Haven't read full thread - but we found childminder was a lot cheaper for childcare.

An idea I heard was that you have to think of the childcare years in the same way as the university years - a massive build up of debt, with a view to having a better life afterwards.
Stay in work, and get a big 8-year loan to cover childcare before school age and wrap-around care for the first few years at school.
You could see about adding it to your mortgage and extending the term, then when DC are in school re-mortgage again to shorten the term.
Alternatively, as others have said, build up credit card debt which goes up and down each month but gradually builds up overall.
You would have to do lots of sums to work out the better option.

Can't you get an old banger? You don't need to pay that much a month for a car- it's ridiculous.

My friend has literally just bought a 2007 convertible with 86,000 miles on clock and a clean MoT history. £2,500. On a zero interest rate credit card that’s £100 a month at most.We’re south east.

I completely agree with this. My ex used to pay 400 per month for two children, which was standard at that time but my childcare was 800 per month.

Why why why do people not google current CMS rules
Interest on savings AND savings over a certain amount ARE taken into account.
Know the rules
Do not rely on what some clerk at CMS says

https://www.gov.uk/how-child-maintenance-is-worked-out/ask-other-income-expenses-included

Hi @orangepinkblue
I've gone through the pages and didn't see any one suggest this but might have missed it.

Some banks will allow you to go interest only on your mortgage for a bit. It could give you some breathing space.

As DC gets older childcare costs go down. It's probably not what you want to hear but you might just have to suck it up and put things on credit card until child goes to school nursery, then your childcare cost come down a lot. Then pay credit card off. I know it's not good but what other choices do you have if DC's father won't pay maintenance?