I hate when companies use ‘family’ to mean only if you have children

[Newchangename]

I hate it when people use ‘starting a family’ to mean having children. Or when places do ‘family tickets’ or ‘family passes’ and you need to have a child to qualify.

Why are DH and I less of a family because we choose not to have children? It’s hurtful to my friend who desperately tried to have children for years and couldn’t. She doesn’t need a reminder that her family is incomplete/ non- existent because they couldn’t

Because aunts and grandparents usually have their own income to pay for their tickets (possibly at a reduced price if they’re pensioners).
Parents pay for their children who don’t have their own income.

"hate" is a strong word.

I think it is ok to consider you and your husband as a family even if you dont have kids but YABU to be offended by not qualifying for family discounts, which usually involves 4 paying customers.

Bring me a bucket.
Seriously there are a myriad of the things to spend your energy on.

When I was a kid is use to dislike it when my mom corrected me on using the word 'hate'.

You don't 'hate' certain foods, when your brother takes something of yours or a jumper.

Hate is left for things like wars, inequality, abuse, child labour, you name it.

Now I feel like she had a point.

Because common sense tells you that two adults in a relationships = a couple and not a family. Please don't take offence where there isn't any.

When I refer to my family I am talking about my parents and siblings. When my DH talks about his family he is meaning his siblings and parents.

I did not consider my DH my family before children. He was and is my husband.

Some people have families that are made up entirely of friends. I think it can be whatever you want it to be. Whoever you feel is family is family.

I also think it is fine for attractions to sell family tickets. Some do them for 2 adults but probably not many as it is really a case of giving a discount the more people you bring and 2 isn't many. It's just a marketing plot to sell more just as supeemarkets do 'buy 2 get 1 free'. You get more discount the more people you bring. They aren't giving 2 adults with 4 children more discount to help them. They just want to sell 6 tickets and get them in the gift shop buying 4 souvenirs and 6 lunches in the cafe and maybe 6 ice creams. They are business and they want to make money.

A couple of years ago my office organised a "family day out" and when they didn't get the response they expected to their email they realised that they had fucked up and had to resend the email and say that everyone was included. It still left a sour taste tbh.

I think this is one of those things that isn't about you. You can't really blame people for using family as the word is defined though. There is nothing wrong with being 'a couple' and not 'a family'.

I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle. I run an exercise class eg 'Family Football' or 'Family Dance' - it is for children and their parents to come together to learn this sport. We also have a few grandparents who bring their grandchildren as well as one lady who frequently comes with children she is fostering. We set it up because it gave nervous children the chance to take part with someone they felt safe with, for single parents to exercise without childcare worries, or just simply because they both/all want to learn the same sport and it's fun to learn together. There is no discount per place if you come as a two or a six person family. We run the same sport style just for adults another 12 times a week, and for children another 5 times a week. We teach quite differently to sessions with children involved as adults have longer concentration generally, react to different language to children, have a clearer understanding of directions, can follow multi stage instructions better and are less likely to get frustrated if a skill doesn't come immediately to them. I once had an enquiry from a single man without children asking to come to this session specifically, and he was really indignant about being excluded when I directed him to any of the adults only sessions. I'm really curious if you would consider this shorthand offensive, or if you'd just look and go 'I'll pick the adult session, it's going to be more suited to my needs'.

Yeah I get really offended by this too. I do have a husband and children but I don't work hard. Don't I need consideration too, just because I don't work hard?? I wish they would use language that was inclusive to my non-hardworking status. So annoying

@VikingsandDragons I would wondered at the man's motives if he took your refusal that badly.

Of course you and dh are a family. You just dont meet the number to benefit from 2 adult and 2 children family ticket. Nor do parents with one or four children. Or single parents.

Sometimes me and a friend will bring a child each and buy a family ticket although not a family.

A family ticket if for a particular size of family and definitely not the only size of family.

You don't HAVE to have a child to qualify for the family passes though. I'm sure if you turned up and insisted on buying the family ticket they'd let you.

Two people living together as a unit are usually referred to as ‚couple‘.
More than two living together as a unit without being related to each other and also being more than just friends is not super common I guess? Hence no particular term for that kind of setup.
The phrase ‚families come in all shapes and sizes‘ to me personally refers to the different setups where children are involved, so two dads, two mums, patchwork families, adoptive parents and so on.

But it’s the business that decides to offer a discount to families with kids, because in the end of the day it’s more profitable for them.
Would you tell them to stop because ‚families get enough help‘?

And a lazy idle cat’s mother at that!

There is what used to be referred to as the nuclear family - parents and children. Then there is the wider family, your grand parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Your partner becomes your family when you have children together.

And if you are going to spend Xmas with others most people say my family as in the wider family or my partners family as in not my family but people I am close to

You don't need a child to buy a family ticket. Anyone can buy one. It will be more expensive to buy a family ticket than 2 adult tickets. Most people buy the cheapest ticket they can. But if you want to buy a family ticket no one will stop you.

The thing is, ‘family tickets’ aren’t actually cheaper if you look beyond the ticket price themselves. Families will likely spend less time at a place (let’s say theme park) because kids obviously get tired or bored quicker. They will very likely end up spending far more £££ within the establishment, which of course is horrifically over priced. A group of adults aren’t going to spend 3 hours whinging for a £5 ice cream or spending £20 on a toy or in the arcades. So places get more families in and more profit across the place they’re visiting, their value is more than a couple of adults. Of course their promotions would be encouraging families more than single/couple adults.

I DO get frustrated by political use of the phrase like 'hard working families' or things like climate change policies being 'for our children' instead of 'future generations' which exclude me from a lot of rhetoric, like a single person working hard isn't as valued.

Exactly this. I think the OP is frustrated by how we are treated as people who don't have children by society. Our struggles are ignored by politicians and the rest of society and we are stereotyped and patronised.

However, I'm not sure that this thread is a useful contribution to the wider debate and it is just bringing out the usual bollocks that we have to listen to and which makes us just feel worse.

I agree. Some people make it out as if having children was just an exotic hobby, purely for the amusement of their parents.
Sure, hardly anyone has children specifically to raise the next generation of taxpayers/ service providers, but that’s what most of those children become when they grow up.

Exactly why I refused him! I know some people have very, very busy lives and that might have been the only time that suited him but the anger at being denied access just set off all my alarms.

That’s also a very valid point.

‘I love it when people carry on about 'oh but have children and pay twice as much', was it not your choice to have children?

Why do people think that they are entitled to cheaper tickets etc overall just because they chose to have children?’

I did and have no regrets about that or how much it costs.

And as for ‘entitled’ - I’m not at all expecting discounts but companies that want customers need to think about the cost to those customers they’re trying to attract. And if they want to attract families -I.e. people with CHILDREN then they need to price accordingly.
And if you charge adult
prices for children -
then you probably aren’t going to attract families.

Some do, some don’t. The reality is - if a company is going to charge me 4 Full price tickets for 2 adults and my 2 kids, I’m probably not going to be able to afford to go.

It’s why we really go to London theatre
shows - I don’t have £300,£400 for the 4 of us to and see Matilda or Back to the Future or whatever. As my kids are too young to earn money, the cost is all on me.

But we can afford to go to a museum that does a family ticket for £50. Or a local
show that offers a family ticket.

And would I swap a single day of having children to be the person posting on Mumsnet about being offended that the childless couples doesn’t get a family discount. Fuck no.

Pretty sure that most people do have children for their own amusement - why else would you have them? Amusement is probably the wrong word - but let's be honest, the only reason people have kids is because it's something that they want to do for themselves. Again, it's a choice, and along with that choice comes more expenses.

Of course you are a family if there are only two of you. People saying only those with children are classed as a family is hurtful and actually a bit self-important.
My husband and I are a family, my children are my family as are my siblings,cousins nephews neices etc.
Family is those you are tied to by marriage ,blood but mostly love.