I hate when companies use ‘family’ to mean only if you have children

[Newchangename]

I hate it when people use ‘starting a family’ to mean having children. Or when places do ‘family tickets’ or ‘family passes’ and you need to have a child to qualify.

Why are DH and I less of a family because we choose not to have children? It’s hurtful to my friend who desperately tried to have children for years and couldn’t. She doesn’t need a reminder that her family is incomplete/ non- existent because they couldn’t

There's not usually a saving when it comes to family tickets unless you're buying bigger quantities. Typically you save half to a full child's ticket for buying one... so it'd rarely be any cheaper for you and your husband.

I mean, overall I'm with you on being a bit sensitive to "family", I don't have parents and my in-laws think me and my DS "stole" their son 🥴 so we're NC. But I know that's my sensitivities; and not something society should change. It'd be unreasonable to expect people not to talk about grandparents just because my DS doesn't have any. I don't expect Mothers and Fathers Day to be cancelled.

You’re being ridiculous. Two people is a couple. Add in a child and it becomes a family. Why would your husband become your family, are you related to him? It’s irrelevant how people feel about not being able to have children, they surely don’t expect the meaning of words to change for them? Equally, your friends are not your family. They’re your friends. (Reminds me if Jennifer Aniston saying that she might not have had children but she had “mothered” things eg, dogs and her work. Bonkers.)

For god's sake, you chose to have kids therefore it's logical that days out etc will cost more. That was your choice. If it's difficult to pay, don't go.

'Families' get enough help.

Also don't assume that all childless/childfree couples don't need help. Way to generalise.

OP you and your DH aren't a family, you're a COUPLE.

HTH

In the same respect, I grew up in a family of 6 and most family holidays, family tickets were 2 adults and 2 kids so never applied to us.

We don’t fit family ticket description either ( 1 DC) but surely there is a logic in it. You can’t describe all combinations, it’s only the most popular and where people without income and needing support are involved. The same principle is for disabled person and its carer. And yes, some places have “couples” option, it’s just not widespread. Our local theatre offers atm family ticket for Shrek the musical and Xmas pantomime. Surely you don’t need a couple ticket for things like this.
I think single parents are rightly complaining about lack of discounts but 2 working people without children ….no

How are you adding to your family if you don't already have children? Unless your DH is a blood relation

There’s always something to be offended about these days isn’t there?

Yeah that bothers me

Why are you coming onto a parenting site to ask this? Is there not a child free site where you'd find people who were more likely to share your experience?

Goodness. You're being oversensitive.

If it is triggering to hear the phrase 'start a family' then I'd suggest therapy. I'm not spending my life dancing around straight-forward terms like breast-feeding to protect all the sensitive flowers in the world either. Just no.

You don't have the right to not be offended. Especially over something as daft as this.

This has a lot of "I'm the main character" vibes.

I'd say a family is your kin. So, outside of my own children, my siblings and parents are also my family. But dh and I are a couple and when we had children we became a family by proxy of them and our shared household.

If dh and I were to divorce our understanding as being family to one another would dissolve - whereas your genetic tribe is tethered to you regardless of feelings or proximity.

Discounts are usually aimed at groups. Typically four or more. So the reason a couple doesn't get the discount is because they are a two.

I'm almost 40 without my own children - and it's one of my greatest sources of unhappiness, I desperately want them but for various reasons it's not gonna happen. As such I'm super sensitive to assumptions and wordings etc.

However, it's quite obvious 'family' in tickets etc just mean 'group of 2 adults + 2 kids' or '1 adult + 3 kids'. It's just an easy phrase for that bundle of people. I take my nephews and nieces out on family tickets all the time. Similarly, I don't get offended that when I go out as an adult with my parents, I can't get a family ticket for us 3 adults.

I DO get frustrated by political use of the phrase like 'hard working families' or things like climate change policies being 'for our children' instead of 'future generations' which exclude me from a lot of rhetoric, like a single person working hard isn't as valued.

But, on this one, sorry OP you're getting het up about nothing.

I don't think OP is upset that she's not offered any multi person discounts eg family pass ticket at an amusement park etc. I think she's annoyed that whilst everyone says families come in all shapes and sizes they actually mean it's only a family if it contains children. Hence starting a family implies that atm you don't qualify as a family but once you have a child you will.
Maybe there are words in other languages that could describe a group of 2 or more people living as a unit. Not necessarily related (maybe legally by marriage) and not necessarily with children. Household doesn't seem to represent the emotional bond.

I hate all this anti people with kids stuff these days - I get it, we chose to have kids so they, along with their increased costs, are our burden.

But people act as though there’s no societal benefit to people having kids and so any help parents get is some kind of insult to child free people. Todays kids are going to be paying for tomorrow’s state pensions (if we ever get them) and public services. Giving minor discounts and accepting that the word family has a definition that involves children is hardly a big price to pay for that…

Just when I thought people couldn’t find any more inoffensive words to be offended by.

Family - a colloquial term that typically means ‘parent/s and children’. Family friendly cars/holidays/tv shows, this makes it very simple to understand that these things are specifically made with younger family members in mind. You wouldn’t book a family friendly holiday with just your spouse and moan there’s kids there - would you complain that ‘me and my husband are a family unit by ourselves, why isn’t that what you meant by family friendly??!’.

It doesn’t diminish how you feel about your own circumstances. Of course just being in an adult relationship, or being with your parents as an adult, or simply living alone with a dog can be seen as family. But when wanting to be clear and concise in the wider world, we need simple and to the point words to understand exactly what we mean. And when something is labelled as ‘family’ then we instantly understand ‘this is directed towards those with children who are still in the full care of their parents’. Simple isn’t it.

What else would "starting a family" mean other than having children through your own body or adoption? Also you get a discount as a family because of the recognition of how expensive children are. You and your DH can work full time whereas I can't unless I want to pay thousands for childcare on a minimum wage.

Surely ‘adults only’ and the single/ double rooms cover this? Doesn’t say ‘no adult families’.
I was impressed a hotel I was at recently actually had a ‘single parent’ set of rooms, set up together and laid out as a smaller option the price of a twin room but child friendly in the same way as larger family rooms. I thought that was a great bit of inclusion and making it a little more cost effective for a group that is often missed out.

There are lots of discounts for couples - two for one deals, couples train tickets, buy one get one free etc. You and your husband are not a family I'm afraid, and that's ok! Being a couple is a lovely thing too.

A family is unique unit though. As a word it has a lot more sentimental value I suppose than - a domestic unit raising individuals for the next generation - but it needs a word so that policies and services can be built to support them.

Have you struggled to conceive by the way? I wasn't offended by this when I experienced infertility. Are you sure your friend is actually offended by that?

Pls get a grip. Your friend too. It’s not hard to understand why a bigger group of people (including children) will be referred to as family tickets….