To want a cleaner that will pick my clothes up off the floor?

[Zamphina]

Dp and I work very long hours during the week. We’re out of the house 9-10 minimum. We eat dinner in the office. When we get home we’re exhausted and just want to sleep. So often the kitchen has our breakfast stuff. We’ve left clothes on the floor. There might be sunday’s dishes on the table. The laundry has been left out drying.

We earn an OK salary and have a tiny flat to save money, so a cleaner coming 2-3 times a week for two hours a time won’t be an issue.

But obviously I’m slightly embarrassed for someone to see my home in such a mess. Are there any cleaners who will sort all of this? Pick up the clothes, put them on to wash, load the dishwasher, and clean the bathroom etc?

Just get a routine going . Buy more clothes baskets and stop being a slob

There is company's out there that will do this for you but not your regular cleaner you need to look for a home organiser

People need to be really careful about being judgy. I hated myself for ages, thought I was really lazy, felt ashamed how little I could manage other than working. Felt so ashamed I couldn't even manage to brush my hair Eventually discovered (after years of being told by doctors there was nothing wrong) that I had a very serious rare neurological condition.

We don't know what people are coping with. Whether that's trauma or illness or burnout or depression. Sometimes people don't even realise themselves how much they are struggling/why until they are out the other side of it.

So I find the judgemental posts really unpleasant and unnecessary

Would it not be unusual to be able to successfully hold down a high pressured 60 hour + a week job yet not be able to put your worn clothes in a laundry basket rather than on the floor due to a neurological condition?

I managed precisely this and still do. It stopped me doing things physically, it never stopped my brain working

Plus if you read my second paragraph it was clear that that was an illustrative example and there could be a multiplicity of reasons people might struggle.

But clearly it makes people feel better to get all judgy and give someone a kicking when they're down

I’m sorry you’ve had what sounds like a very difficult time but OP has given no indication of medical or other issues. And it is hard to understand why an adult who can hold down a demanding job cab drop clothes onto the floor but not into a laundry basket.

I don't have any personal experience of cleaners etc but I think as long as Ur upfront with the potential person and say what u want and what you will pay, then it's not unreasonable thing to ask. If I was doing that job it wouldn't bother me in the least to pick up clothes, put on washings.etc. as long as I knew what to do and that I was getting paid a sum I was happy with. I think just be upfront. Let the person decide. It's an arrangement between u and them. Doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks.
I feel for u working those Hours. Buy in help to help you cope.

The pair of you are lazy. I often worked 15 hours a day, had a 15 year old and my house was spotless and laundry up to date. You are not a teenager so throwing your clothes on the floor.

I don’t really know what anyone gets out of coming onto a 700+ post thread and being the 374th person to call the OP ‘lazy’.

It’s not really adding anything - the message has been made loud and clear.

And the OP is long gone anyway.

Gosh some people are terribly pleased with themselves, aren't they? Well done MrsMarzetti and all the other paragons of virtue on this thread.

I have worked 60, 70, 80 even 90+ hour weeks and it's really hard to get anything much done at home.

If you can find a cleaner who is willing to do the job you want, why shouldn't you? A
lot of cleaners would not be willing though, so if you do find one and like what they do, pay them generously!

Well actually I would say well done to @MrsMarzetti , that sort of self discipline takes effort.

Right, but it does lose the high ground a bit when you’re unkind to those who may not match your standards.

I do get that no-one wants to live in a total tip*, but where is the altruism in tidiness? How is the world a better place if your house is spotless?

*though I seem to be coping with it just fine

The world might not be a better place for it but generally people will feel better about themselves if they are in control of their environment. Endless psychological studies have demonstrated that it helps in reducing stress and anxiety.

If you can’t take responsibility for your own bedroom then mightn’t it raise the question of how effectively you are managing other aspects of your life?

I can't imagine taking off clothes and just throwing them on the floor.

@Teddleshon, maybe your bedroom’s a mess because you’re prioritising other aspects of your life? OP is clearly managing to hold down what sounds like a demanding job despite the state of her flat.

I would, to be fair, like my house to be tidier - just not to the extent that I want to do anything about it. (For example, last week I spent my afternoon off tidying, and that meant I didn’t get to do any of my hobbies - and surely that’s important for well-being too?) But I object to the connection of tidiness with virtue. It is entirely possible to be a decent human being while also being untidy, despite what many on this thread insist.

It makes them feel momentarily better about themselves. That's it.

@milkywinterdisorder I agree that it has nothing to do with virtue.

@Zamphina my cleaner tidies and some cleaners will totally do that. I think most cleaners will draw the line at picking up dirty clothes so if you can throw stuff in a basket rather than the floor then you can probably get someone to do all the rest. Mine will stack and unstack dishwasher, make beds and all that as well as clean. I don't care if it's lazy of me, I'm happy to pay someone else to do it

FFS she’s literally just asked if a cleaner might be found who will sort out her house. Why on Earth do so many people need to come on here and tell her off for being lazy and a slob. Why do you care? Either answer the question or scroll past. Honestly, mumsnet can be a horrible place.

Our cleaner helps with washing and putting clean laundry away. She comes for four hours one a week. I do a check before she comes to make sure there’s no dirty clothes or underwear on the floor and do a quick tidy before she comes. Feels disrespectful not to.

I'm sure someone will do it if you're up front about the jobs that needs doing. I hope you find someone, sounds like you have long hours and stress and some help will really make a difference. Good luck. Xx

I do get that no-one wants to live in a total tip, but where is the altruism in tidiness? How is the world a better place if your house is spotless?
I don't think there's any altruism or virtue in tidiness.I don't think there's some sort of moral failing to be tired one night and leave the dishes for the morning and not being one of the Mumsnetters who are 10 minutes from guest-ready at all time and whip round with Zoflora at the thought of someone knocking on the door.

I think there's a difference between a little bit of mess or having a lazy week (which most people do at times) and making the decision not to attempt basic housekeeping because money can be thrown at it.

Obviously anyone can have any business arrangement they want to arrange though.

The thread has been really interesting because it's become more general about attitudes in places.

I never understand people with dishwashers who leave their dishes on the side. It's literally no more effort to carry them back to the kitchen and stick them in the dishwasher than put them on the side.

I say this as a fairly lazy and messy (but clean!) person, with no dishwasher so we have to wash up before we go to bed. And we both work. And have DC. And animals.