To want a cleaner that will pick my clothes up off the floor?

[Zamphina]

Dp and I work very long hours during the week. We’re out of the house 9-10 minimum. We eat dinner in the office. When we get home we’re exhausted and just want to sleep. So often the kitchen has our breakfast stuff. We’ve left clothes on the floor. There might be sunday’s dishes on the table. The laundry has been left out drying.

We earn an OK salary and have a tiny flat to save money, so a cleaner coming 2-3 times a week for two hours a time won’t be an issue.

But obviously I’m slightly embarrassed for someone to see my home in such a mess. Are there any cleaners who will sort all of this? Pick up the clothes, put them on to wash, load the dishwasher, and clean the bathroom etc?

What? When you called a poster a bitch the only post I'd made was

"How were you both brought up?

Did you have cleaners or just parents who didn't expect you to do anything?

I don't understand how adults are leaving dirty clothes on the floor for days on end or just walking away from the dinner table leaving the dirty dishes there for who knows how long?

You say you're tired when you get home from work (which most people are) so don't do anything when you get home but do you not do any housework at the weekend either?"

What was nasty about that? They're valid questions.

And the OP did not ask for help. They didn't say I'm struggling, any tips for getting more organised? They said 'can I pay someone to pick my dirty clothes off the floor' which is the step that most people felt was too far because it is sheer laziness.

Agree @saffy2 and @minipie . If the OP had said 'I'm training to be a junior doctor and I'm so tired I sometimes can't do basic housework, can I get a cleaner to help me?', they'd probably get sympathy. And to be honest trainee accountants, lawyers, management consultants have similar awful hours with travel and client entertaining on top. I don't know why people think she's leaving skid marked underwear on the floor, she never said that? She's just not on top things. And all the people saying they do x,y and z - this young person is working extremely hard. There's no need for them to be a martyr with all the 'shoulds' - they should enjoy what free time they have now before the crush of family responsibility comes on top. @Zamphina maybe talking to more senior people in work will help you figure out how they do it. Good luck!

I assumed seeing as you quoted my post that you were the poster I was responding to. So I’m talking about the poster who posted prompting me to say they were a bit of a bitch. I don’t know why you were quoting my post and responding to me as if you were that person when you weren’t 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

The issue is you have to be clear with the person you are paying what is and isn't part of their job. Your cleaner is not your mum, they will only do what you pay them to do.

Most reasonable adult people put their own dirty clothes in the laundry basket, no matter how busy they are. If you cannot or do not want to do this then you need to price that in to your cleaners job sheet.

The bottom line is that keeping a house in order is hard work. The martyrs on here want us to believe they’ve always breezed through it and never struggled even with working three full time jobs and 17 kids in tow…the reality is that the organised mum method, marie kondo, Stacey Solomon’s tv show etc would not exist if it was easy and nobody ever felt overwhelmed with it at times.
It is absolute madness that people are on here are shocked that a new adult fresh into the world of working (and working extreme hours) and fresh into the world of keeping a house in order is finding that difficult. But the way that people have spoken to her is disgusting, I’d be ashamed if my kids treated people the way she’s been spoken to on here. It’s completely unnecessary and nasty. If that was your 21 year old being spoken to like this how would you feel…

OP actually admits she’s a bit embarrassed for
someone to see her home in such a mess. Then she asks if hypothetically it’s possible to pay someone to sort it for her.

She does not say “I can’t believe my cleaner won’t pick my underwear up off the floor, how dare she!”.

So I’m having trouble seeing how the accusations of disrespect and entitlement are justified here.

Some people are not naturally tidy - often they genuinely don’t see the mess. This does not make them bad people. I had no idea before reading this thread that sometimes leaving clothes on the floor was a heinous sin committed only by the morally degenerate…

I wasn't responding to you as if I was that person.

I was calling you out for your hypocrisy saying someone was nasty while you were calling her a bitch and posting slap emojis.

Is Mumsnet something you're still learning too? You just check the username at the top of the post so you know who you're responding to. Posters quote other posters all the time, that's why there's a quote button.

I haven't read the entire thread but if I was working in that capacity I'd be happy to bung everything up into a clothes bucket provided and put a wash on with the PROVISO that there weren't any woollens or colour run items. If there are this is entirely your own fault.

You need to be more direct about the service you want.

Keeping life in order and on the road is hard work yes. Many of us managed and continue to manage it without external help because we cannot afford any other way.

The only thing the OP is struggling with is understanding that professionals you pay to do domestic jobs for you only do the specific jobs you pay them for. They are not servants

I've worked as a cleaner in various settings (offices, private homes, hotels and self-catering cottages) in the past.

I've also worked incredibly long hours (of the leave the house at 8am, get home at 10pm, or later, variety). NB: Although much of this was voluntary work, so I wasn't earning anything like the OP's £120k!

Like many other posters, I've never found myself too busy/exhausted to place dirty laundry in a laundry bag or box - or put clothes that I'm planning to wear again on a chair or hook - rather than throwing it on the bedroom floor.
But maybe the OP doesn't actually have a laundry hamper or even a chair in their bedroom? In which case I'd suggest they invest in something, or even just put a cardboard box on the floor and drop the clothes into that.

There are evidently some cleaners who would not be happy to pick up dirty underwear, or deal with unwashed dishes, who have trained their employers to tidy the house before they arrive to clean. As well as employers who'd be embarrassed for the cleaner to arrive and find the place a bit messy....

But there are also plenty of people who are totally fine with carrying out these sorts of jobs (and much worse) in exchange for money. I think the OP just needs to be upfront when they're recruiting, and offer a decent wage (eg £20-25/hr for 2 hours, twice a week - would work out at between £4160-5200/ year - which actually represents a very small % of the couple's current income). This could be a very attractive job for a reliable, trustworthy person.

OP: If you live in Glasgow, feel free to send me a message. I'd be totally up for it!

And agree @saffy2 thay the way people have spoken is awful - like she was a spoilt child, never taught to do anything. I was like the OP when I started earning. I am the eldest of a family of 4 kids, the youngest with significant special needs. As a teenager I cleaned the bathroom, hoovered the floor, cooked the family meals, cleaned up afterwards. My family were middle class but broke. I was in a parentified role for the youngest. And when I found myself 'free', earning more than my father did, but working crazy hours and without a stay at home partner, I was like the OP. I can so much sympathise.

milkywinterdisorder
I fall into the camp of not being a naturally tidy person. It requires having systems in place for me to be tidy.There's nothing moral or immoral about being a naturally tidy person, I agree with you.

I do think there's something a bit hmm about an adult with the mentality of tossing stuff on the floor because someone else will clean it up. I feel the same when students leave classrooms a mess and say "the cleaners will do it" and look at me confused when I say the cleaners are paid to clean, not pick up rubbish and stuff people can't be bothered to put in the bin. I also feel the same when posters describe their husbands and partners not picking their breakfast plates up or leaving their mugs around because the assumption is someone else will pick it up after them. It boils down to someone putting themselves on a pedestal of being too important and above doing basic tasks.It's an attitude that I don't like.

If OP finds someone who offers the service she wants and they agree a fair price then it's a business transaction like any other though.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I have read the OPs comments.

I would agree that you need a better routine when you are at home.

Maybe when one of you is using the bathroom in the morning, the other one does a swoop around the main living areas and gathers up anything lying around - dirty dishes in the dishwasher, rubbish into the bin, open packet of biscuits back in the cupboard etc. Then when that one goes into the bathroom, the other one does the same in the bedroom, and puts a load of washing into the washing machine too if appropriate.

The more you keep on top of it the easier it gets.

I bought a laundry basket each for me and DH, small, thin fabric up-right ones from IKEA so they don't take up much space. They sit either side of the bedroom, in easy lobbing distance from our respective sides of the bed. The other unexpected bonus to this is it saves a lot of sorting. DH favours darker shades, I favour lighter, so generally his can go in as one load all together and ditto mine.

So I have now introduced DH to the washing machine, shown him how to use it, and he is quite happy taking care of his own. Bonus!

Ugh.

You sound like immature slobby students. Maybe move back home with mum and dad.

Your adults why are clothes on the floor

They probably were students a year or two ago Vinrouge.

Can we all lay off the personal bashing please. This is really not a good look.

You need to stop living like a teenager and not throw your clothes on the floor!
Have you always had mummy there to pick up after you? You need to employ a housekeeper, not a cleaner by the sounds of it.

So many SAHMs on here not appreciating reality of a job like this. Suggesting to just put clothes straight in the basket is fine if the basket is empty. To put dishes in the dishwasher is fine if it's empty. But if they're overflowing because you haven't had time to put a wash on or empty the clean dishwasher that adds extra time and effort that you often done have the energy for after working a 12+ hour super intense day.

OP just advertise and pay appropriately for what you need. Once things are back on an even kilter you might find your needs reduce. I know our things only get super gross when there's a backlog.

Er, I'm not a SAHM. I'm a full time working lone parent and I manage to keep my house clean myself.

@LolaSmiles I do think there's something a bit hmm about an adult with the mentality of tossing stuff on the floor because someone else will clean it up. I feel the same when students leave classrooms a mess and say "the cleaners will do it" and look at me confused when I say the cleaners are paid to clean, not pick up rubbish and stuff people can't be bothered to put in the bin. I also feel the same when posters describe their husbands and partners not picking their breakfast plates up or leaving their mugs around because the assumption is someone else will pick it up after them. It boils down to someone putting themselves on a pedestal of being too important and above doing basic tasks.It'sattitude that I don't like.

I do get where you’re coming from here but I don’t see it in quite the same way. If I leave stuff lying around, it’s not because I think I’m above doing it myself and expect someone else to do it, it’s because I fully expect to do it myself when I have more time. If someone I’m living with can’t cope with the delay and decides to do it themselves, then yes it’s clearly very annoying for them living with someone who is untidier than they are, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that I expected them to do it all along. DH is tidy so he gets annoyed with me leaving stuff around, but he never hoovers, because he just doesn’t notice when the floors need hoovering - it doesn’t mean he expects me to do it, just that it won’t get done if I don’t. This is still annoying for me, obviously, but is quite different from the idea that he thinks he’s too important to hoover but I’m not.

I think the example with pupils leaving classrooms in a mess is a bit different, because they clearly have no intention of going back to that, and I agree that there’s a definite “that’s someone else’s responsibility” mentality there.

I think it's a bit childish to toss clothes on the floor too.

I'm not a SAHM. When I was the OPs age I was working shifts (often double) running hospital wards. I'd often finish one shift at 9 30 pm, get home at 10.30pm and get up at 5am to go back in. Very rarely had 2 days off together.

And managed to keep a flat clean on my own, not leave dirty clothes on the floor or dirty dishes on the table. Even if I was too tired to wash up, I'd at least get them to the sink.

The OP and her DP have every weekend to get on top of housework, which as she says it's a small flat, isn't going to take too long. They presumably prioritise other things.

I know, I thought the same! She is willing to pay someone and it’s not illegal, so if they are willing to do it what’s the issue?

Are you working 13-15 hrs days 5 days a week in an early in career role? Working full time is not the same.