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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that my child is not the unusual one !

279 replies

Lostmymarbles25 · 03/10/2023 14:36

group mum chat today and we were discussing the birthday parties coming up and Christmas ( they do a class secret Santa ) quite a few were suggesting the girls wanted vouchers for Sephora etc for some face cream routine stuff and some kind of elephant cream 😅 they have just gone in to year 5 so mainly 9 approaching 10.
I was explaining that for DD that she would be happy with any sort of squishy / anime surprise bags / fidget toys / rocks. This was described as unusual ?
I don’t think it’s that unusual - she would not know what Sephora is or the difference in face creams !
will she start to fall behind in what her peers are growing in to ? If I suggested face cream for Christmas she would probably cry 😂😂😂
she is not in to her dolls as much anymore but more like Sanrio character / anime figures / slime / fidgets / art sets / rocks / mini brands / mini verse etc
I don’t remember it being this unusual at this age.

OP posts:
Lollipop81 · 04/10/2023 21:28

What a sad world we are living in if face creams are what 9 year olds are into. Keep letting your kid be a kid and don’t worry about what other people say, shame on them. It you 😊

junbean · 04/10/2023 21:37

My DD is 13 and only started enjoying facial masks last year. I got her a cute Sanrio facial mist and Disney themed makeup palettes recently too, but she mainly prefers plushies, manga, etc. Not only is it normal, but a lot of girls grow up and still enjoy character toys, etc. My 17yo is still like this! Yours might branch out into beauty or fashion, but I think mine only has because I'm really into it. I'm also a fan of Sanrio and all the cute things. And btw we are not on TikTok either! We talk about the dangers of social media on mental health a lot too.

Original poster
Lostmymarbles25 · 04/10/2023 21:54

So yes my daughter is very much obsessed with anime / Sanrio / Japan / gaming but she doesn’t have social media at all. She loves any sort of rocks but mainly rocks for her tumbler. I do have to be careful because a lot of shops like Smyths etc now have demon slayer Merch and I don’t find it appropriate for kids. So she is allowed anime but it is strictly monitored.

OP posts:
ToffeeMamma · 04/10/2023 21:55

Sorry but those other kids sound more like snobs. Who gets kids that age creams and lotions for gifts. For Christ sake.let them be kids. My DS is 10 and all he wants is pokemon stuff, Xbox stuff, nerf guns and RC cars. He does love bath bombs but it's not something I'd make an issue of getting for a gift, we use them regularly anyways.

Georgeandzippyzoo · 04/10/2023 21:59

margotrose · 03/10/2023 14:55

I remember messing around with make-up and skincare at that age - I don't think it's hugely unusual for 9-10 year olds to want to play at being a grown up.

I think there's a difference in messing around/experimenting and going for named brands cos they're the in thing!

Weedoormatnomore · 04/10/2023 22:20

Your DD is definitely not unusual she is just a kid that thinks for her herself and not a follower.

Pinkfluff76 · 04/10/2023 22:40

This is awful. Your DD sounds great!

DarkwingDuk · 04/10/2023 22:42

My 13yo would still like all the things your daughter likes.

I’m going to be honest with you - mine struggled in the first year of secondary, had few friends, some girls were really horrible to her (all girls school).
Once she hit her second year she met the girls who liked the same things…they’re all a little geeky, work very hard in school, don’t like the “standard” things, don’t wear make up, still buy soft toys/figures/books.

They are such happy, free spirited, lovely girls. They have coffee dates and sleepovers, they play minecraft together and just dance. None of them even talk about boys or face creams.
They were playing Duo Lingo in the back of the car on the way to her birthday party rather than scrolling TikTok.

I am so grateful that they are a little “unusual”! They are bright, articulate, funny, caring and kind - I’ll take that over the other options.
Being “usual” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Curtainseeker · 04/10/2023 23:13

your child is the normal one!

I could understand asking for bath bombs at 10, or lip balm or nail varnish but seems really strange age to ask for top end skin care brands designed for people age 30+

what will be next year lip fillers and Botox?! 😂

Banrion · 04/10/2023 23:20

My 11 year old likes mini brands, pokemon, squishmallows and actually still plays with her dolls with little sister!
I'm thinking maybe the difference is children that are on social media v children who aren't!

QueenofTerrasen · 04/10/2023 23:26

My 9 year old still likes barbies! She'd cry if I gave her face cream. She doesn't have a phone or ever been near TikTok though so that might be why? I'm worried she's going to seem babyish to her friends now!

T1Dmama · 04/10/2023 23:35

My daughters year 8 and her and her friends still wouldn’t want face cream for Christmas…

Blueink · 05/10/2023 01:06

This is depressing OP, don’t think 9/10 year should start their anti ageing regime(!), glad your DD has healthier interests

CelestiaNoctis · 05/10/2023 01:20

Sounds like mum wants a sephora voucher more like. No that's not normal for a kid to want expensive makeup and face creams. What does a kid need with a face cream.

DappledThings · 05/10/2023 07:16

There has never been a time in my life when I considered face cream a product I would either by for myself or want as a present.

If DD is into this shit by the time she's 9 I'll be somewhat saddened.

Ukrainebaby23 · 05/10/2023 07:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Or Sephora, no idea. Lol

londonrach · 05/10/2023 07:33

Much be your area. I know a few children of that age and they all want what your daughter wants....face cream..come on how daft. Bet they don't really want it. Your child is very normal for her age

MrsRonaldWeasley · 05/10/2023 11:20

I don’t think your daughter is unusual at all. I think she is exactly how a child of her age should be. Even if she was still playing with dolls etc that would still be normal at that age. The reason her her peers are wanting stuff like that for Christmas is because they have been exposed to things that are not appropriate for their age on platforms that are not appropriate for their age!

JaneFarrier · 05/10/2023 11:47

@Lostmymarbles25 I've got another non-sophisticate. She's ten. For her last birthday she wanted stuff such as art materials (especially foam clay), how-to books for drawing cartoons, Lego, T-shirts with cute things on, books and graphic novels. She does like a fruity lip balm and I bought her a multipack of different flavours last Christmas, but no interest in face creams.

I wonder if the ones who ask for cosmetics maybe have big siblings or mums who are very into it, and want to be involved to feel grown up? I am kind of a scruff so my daughter doesn't see me doing much of a skincare routine (soap and water plus sunblock, not very exciting), but it's normal for many.

KimberleyClark · 05/10/2023 11:49

Notagains · 03/10/2023 14:56

I would way a nine year old wanting face cream is very unusual and also very sad.
They are still young children they shouldn't be worrying about face cream!

This. I wasn’t remotely interested in face cream when I was that age. What the hell.

Morgysmum · 05/10/2023 11:50

Wow, I would be classed as unusual. I was Tom boy, hated anything remotely girlie, still do.
So no it's not unusual to not be a sheep and follow the herd, good on your child for being an individual and like different stuff.
Buying face creams for kids is weird, so girls are being turned into money makers for the beauty industry early. Yikes..

Muttisays · 05/10/2023 11:55

Surely the first thing you do when faced with a secret Santa situation is to find out what THAT child/person likes, rather than “they’re an x-yo girl/boy and therefore MUST love xyz and Omg if they don’t all love the same thing??”

Don’t worry about “falling behind” her peers, there is no such thing. My DD 13 was never into dance/fashion/traditionally “girly” stuff and felt a bit excluded from some early friendships as a result. It took until secondary school for her to meet similarly-minded people and make proper friends. Whether it’s sports teams/playing in a band/collecting slugs/Lego or if hair and makeup is your thing - or all of it - the important thing for self-esteem is being able to confidently express their own interests rather than trying to fit in with some enforced vanity or other peer-led scenario. (That may change of course).

YANBU, the other parents are by calling this out as unusual and not understanding that children - as individuals - like different stuff to each other.

Elaina87 · 05/10/2023 12:29

I think expensive branded face creams for a 9/10 year old is bizarre. I wouldn't be encouraging it...let them be kids, it goes quickly enough. It won't be long till she catches up.

Thattwinthing · 05/10/2023 12:40

What about suggesting bath bombs instead. Fun but could still be seen as not as “young” compared to her peers. I would much rather my 9 year olds be into fidgets and some toys still!!

Tessabelle74 · 05/10/2023 14:06

BabyofMine · 03/10/2023 14:41

Sounds absolutely normal, grown adults encouraging expensive face creams for 9 years olds and shaming a mother for their child liking age-appropriate toys should be ashamed of themselves.

Exactly this! My 15 year old wouldn't even want face cream for Christmas!