To sleep with my daughter

[Boundoverbyacat]

I co-parent my daughter who’s nearly 8 so it’s just me in my king size bed. Over the last couple of years she’s chosen to sleep in my bed with me about 70% of the time. She goes to sleep alone and is fine. Sometimes she wants to sleep in her room and is also fine.

I don’t mind at all but I was just reading a Twitter thread where a psychiatrist told a woman this was unusual and damaging. Is it? Surely kids have slept with their parents the world over for centuries?

how is it damaging?

I wouldn’t imagine it’s damaging at all. My kids are younger and often pop into our bed during the night, when they are older, if they still wish to do so I don’t mind at all🤷🏼‍♀️ I assume they just grow out of it eventually, I don’t know many thirty year olds hopping into parents beds! I haven’t read any research myself, but sometimes I think it’s almost just something to do to find issues with a non issue at times 😂 I’d imagine in a few years they won’t even dream of coming into your bed or even want to hang out with you so enjoy it while you can!

My son slept in my bed most nights until
he was 10 …. (He is autistic too)
but he grew out of it eventually . They all do at some point . She won’t still be sleeping there in 10 yrs time !

Ds 8 is a regular visitor in our bed . We have a super king size bed and often wake up to find him between me and his daddy . When Dh works away son moves into his side of the bed .

This was exactly my approach. It lasted until about 13 on and off. Largely linked to not fitting into friendship groups/being unhappy at school.

They won’t do it forever.

I'd enjoy it, sometimes I wish my 18mo would sleep in my bed but she won't have any of it 😂 I'm hoping when she's older I might get the occasional snuggly evening. I think it would only be damaging if she would only sleep with you and refuse to be alone. If she is fine either way (and you don't mind) then I don't see why it matters.

Mine still pops in- she's 12. I feel privileged that she still wants to. I found some of it (with both of mine) was in lockdown; they just wanted a human to be closer to them.

I think the partner texting his mummy ‘you are my everything’ might still hop in her bed and latch onto her tit 😳😂

My best friend slept in her mum's bed until she was 13. She's now mid thirties and has a wonderful career, a big house, a lovely husband and two beautiful children.
She doesn't seem too damaged at all 😁

I think the issue can be when they don't have a choice - but your daughter has her own space that she can choose to sleep in so it doesn't apply to you

I highly, highly doubt this is damaging. Your child is seeking security, love and comfort from their parent, how could that be damaging? She will grow out of it eventually when she is ready to.

AllAboardTootToot · Today 20:09

I think the partner texting his mummy ‘you are my everything’ might still hop in her bed and latch onto her tit 😳😂

HAHA!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don't think it's damaging but children going to sleep in their own room can promote self soothing. She clearly spends some time doing it herself so she will get there. I think it's only an issue if she was point blank refusing and showed no signs of progressing. Don't worry x

I think that if you're both happy then it's fine.
My dd still liked it at that age but it was a squish with 3 of us so we went through a phase of letting her sleep with me for a Friday night treat and her Dad would go into the spare room.

Umm, my 16yo Dd still gets in with me when Dh is away. We chat, it's like a girls night.
(She talks in her sleep though and does the rotary chicken thing )

So I think it's fine.

My DD used to get in with me up to the age of 11 - she's at university now, confident, achieving and amazing.

I think it gives them confidence knowing they're loved and feeling physically safe.

My ds used to come and climb into bed with me until he was 13.

He has various disabilities including autism (but no LD). He had severe anxiety and I think it was the opposite of damaging. He felt reassured and safe that I was there when he needed me and eventually just stopped coming in.

In fact - once he stopped I slept worse because I kept worrying when I woke up in the morning and he wasn't next to me that he was still breathing

I think it’s a sign they feel safe and loved. I never understand parents who are militant about their dc sleeping in their own bed.

Mine is 13 and many times I go to sleep alone a d wake up to find her and the dog have joined me

My 16 year old daughter sleeps with me most nights

I'd enjoy it, sometimes I wish my 18mo would sleep in my bed but she won't have any of it

don’t lose hope, mine refused to until a couple of years ago. She’s actually probably a better bed partner now she’s older as she’s not rolling about and kicking me!

I’m glad to read all of these. I suddenly had a panic I was a weird mum! Nothing better than a snuggle with your child is there?

The real issue is that you're questioning your parenting based on something you read on Twitter. 😉😂

Meh, you're fine. Twitter is gonna twitter, and no matter what a mother does, someone somewhere will have something snarky to say about it.

Your absolutely not a weird mum op!
When I was a teenager I used to sleep with my own mum when my dad worked nights.

What a lovely and reassuring thread. My son is 11 and autistic and regularly sleeps with me in my bed. Especially when there's change happening and he wants to feel safe and secure. I love waking up and seeing his little face next to mine.

I wouldn’t be taking notice of anything I read on Twitter.