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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not a AIBU more of a are we absolutely nuts

60 replies

87mum · 02/10/2023 16:33

9 month old puppy and a newborn, are we/am I crazy?

We've always wanted a dog, and it never seems like the right time. I understand it will be a hell of a lot of work, and I'll no doubt be cursing myself at times but I feel if we don't do it now, we never will.

We are prepared to put in the work over the next 6/7 months to train the puppy and have offers from family and friends. It would be a small dog, mum and dad are very good and easy dogs, and pup is already showing positive signs of being toilet trained.

DH thinks we will be fine, but I am slightly panicked. DS - 6, would love one but we know he won't be much help.

We've discussed the practicalities around giving birth, who does the work once baby is here etc and I do want one but I there's just something stopping me from being fully onboard.

Would you/have you done this? How'd you find it? Am I crazy for even considering it?

OP posts:
BarnacleBeasley · 02/10/2023 16:39

I personally wouldn't. I already had a dog before having a baby, and it's been fine but our dog was a bit older and calmer before the baby and we've worked really hard at making sure he has separate spaces. A young puppy at the same time as a baby would be harder - even now (my DC is 2, dog is 5) they so often have competing needs, plus the fact that you also have another child who is too small to be responsible for a dog.

Also - 9 month old puppy or 9 weeks? If it's already 9 months, where has it been living up to now and why is it being rehomed?

Original poster
87mum · 02/10/2023 16:41

Sorry puppy would be 9 months when LO is born.

OP posts:
elm26 · 02/10/2023 16:43

I'm mum to a 4 month old DD and we have an 8 year old sprocker spaniel. Honestly, I wouldn't recommend a puppy with a newborn.

I love DDog with all my heart, he's such a lovely dog, obedient, cuddly, gentle, loyal and playful. He's everything you would want in a dog and all of our family and friends adore him but it is hard work.

I trust him with my life but I don't trust him with my daughters. He's never showed any signs of aggression but I am on high alert at all times, never leave them in a room together, he likes to lick the top of her head but can get over excited and start to jump up etc. He has to be walked every day, when I'm tired and had a bad night sleep with DD, I can't just sit in my pjs with her for the day. Vet bills, worming and flea prevention costs, insurance etc.

I grew up with rescue dogs (we had a fair bit of land) and some were puppies, ALL puppies are nibbly like babies teething, all puppies have the odd accident, again like children when being toilet trained etc. you'll essentially be adding 2 new babies to the family at the same time except one can run around, chew, bite, escape the house/garden and poo/pee anywhere from the get go.

I'm a dog lover but I wouldn't have a puppy with a newborn.

TiredMamOfTwo · 02/10/2023 16:44

You'd be selfish to do it. A newborn & a puppy require so much care let alone both at the same time.

RaisinsOfMildAnnoyance · 02/10/2023 16:45

It's a terrible idea.

YourNameGoesHere · 02/10/2023 16:45

Honestly it sounds like utter chaos and not fair on either the pup or the baby.

littleblackcat27 · 02/10/2023 16:45

Nope and nope again. I’ve had both - do not recommend a puppy until youngest child is 5 years old.

Khvdrt · 02/10/2023 16:46

I think you’re crazy to consider it and it will be you at home not being even able to leave the room to get a nappy with the baby and puppy in the same room. You’ll be having to plan your days around being back for the puppy, your newborn and your son. If the baby is awake in the night then the dog may be as well and the list goes on if things that will make life stressful.

Octobermeterreadtime · 02/10/2023 16:46

We had 2 puppies under a year old when ds was born. And an adult ddog. Def no regrets at all.

Not a AIBU more of a are we absolutely nuts
BarnacleBeasley · 02/10/2023 16:46

Oh I see - that makes more sense. I still wouldn't, I don't think. My dog was 2.5 years when DC1 was born and it was okay, and I'm sure we'd have found a way to manage if he'd been younger and bounciler but I wouldn't have got a new dog knowing there'd be a baby soon.

Pleasehelpmedress · 02/10/2023 16:47

Not nuts but will be hard work! At least you'll have a bit of an idea about lack of sleep 😅

One thing to keep in mind is don't get your dog used to a strict routine as that won't happen with a baby! I think they are comfortable with what they're used to - so if your dog is used to an afternoon walk anytime from 1pm to 5pm you can easily work around that, but if they are used to 4pm on the dot that'll be trickier.

Also have a back up plan for if things aren't simple after birth. We thought I'd continue to do the afternoon walks on maternity leave as my husband works a later day (I have always started and finished earlier than him) but I couldn't walk far for 3 or 4 months after an emergency section so we'd have been struggling if my mum couldn't have come and stayed as she did (admittedly for more reasons than the dog!)

Ilikewinter · 02/10/2023 16:47

I would also say at 9 months your heading into the terrible stage where all training goes out of the window!! I would also be in the camp of 'no way'

IHaveAskedYouThriceNow · 02/10/2023 16:48

Awful idea!
I had a 6 yr old highly trained, very placid Labrador and a newborn, it was awful.
A 9 month old puppy is storming into teenagerhood. For the sake of your sanity wait until your youngest is old enough for you to have the clear time to devote to a puppy for well over a year.

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 02/10/2023 16:51

Depends on your set up. Sounds fine to me, but I have a small farm, and plenty of dogs.

Autumnbear · 02/10/2023 16:53

Bad idea. A bouncy dog needing loads of attention, a newborn requiring all of your attention and a small child? Nope

Leggytigberk · 02/10/2023 16:53

Barmy idea, you do not know haw much work a baby will be even when they are fully healthy. Suppose all is not well?
Another problem with Dog first is that it will think it is superior in the pack hierarchy. It will resent baby being more important and later becoming the boss of it.
Try a fish tank.

SantaBarbaraMonica · 02/10/2023 16:54

Terrible idea. I did it. My ex dog lives elsewhere. I couldn’t cope and the bond was ruined by my stupidity. Luckily a family member adored her and wanted to help which eventually became permanent. I still see her and she is a lovely dog but I totally ruined what should have been one of the most exciting things in life, getting a puppy.

MaryJanesonabreak · 02/10/2023 16:56

Your self preservation is waving an sos flag. You have no idea what flavour baby you will be getting. Could be Little Miss Chill, could be Screaming Velcro Baby.
Have the baby, recover from the birth, then consider what you want to add to the mix.

Panicmode1 · 02/10/2023 17:00

I wouldn't do it, I waited until my youngest was 4, and even that was hard!! I guess it depends on your set up and dog experience...I was a first time owner, so needed to be sure I had enough time to focus on puppy training without worrying about the baby.

At 9 months, depending on breed, you are potentially going into very challenging behavioural territory with a puppy, that will be wanting to push boundaries and be a typical adolescent..I would wait!!

hellohelp · 02/10/2023 17:00

No no no. Awful idea.
I had Ddog already when ds came along and while she was amazing during my pregnancy the stress of both of them was too much.

But they are good at cleaning floors when weaning food is thrown

Panicmode1 · 02/10/2023 17:02

To add, I work for a charity where we support young families..the number of them that have puppies/dogs in small flats who are then crated for large parts of the day because they can't cope, is not insignificant. It's really not fair on the dogs.

margotrose · 02/10/2023 17:05

You'd be absolutely mad.

9 months old is peak "teenage idiot" stage in dogs.

Basketofbobbins · 02/10/2023 17:05

So the dog would be 9 months old when your baby is born?

well it’s hardly a puppy anymore and it will be toilet trained by then. Will probably still be a bit excitable until the age of 2 but it won’t be like having a new puppy anymore.

Newborn will slot into the routine you have with the dog and it is a great way to get everyone out of the house twice a day, good way for baby to have a nap on the walks etc.

YourNameGoesHere · 02/10/2023 17:08

Basketofbobbins · 02/10/2023 17:05

So the dog would be 9 months old when your baby is born?

well it’s hardly a puppy anymore and it will be toilet trained by then. Will probably still be a bit excitable until the age of 2 but it won’t be like having a new puppy anymore.

Newborn will slot into the routine you have with the dog and it is a great way to get everyone out of the house twice a day, good way for baby to have a nap on the walks etc.

In many ways it will be worse than when it's a new puppy to be honest. Baby will be born just before he hit the stupid teenage phase and it will be great fun having a dog that pretends it understands nothing you've taught it the past 9 months. Teenage dogs are literally the worse stage of doghood.

PrtScn · 02/10/2023 17:11

No don't do it. You might get PND and it will be awful. Puppy blues are also very much a thing. I have a 7 month old puppy. I regret the puppy still (don't get a hound/hunting breed - they aren't as easy train. They aren't eager to please like e.g. a lab - there has to be something in it for them).

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