Not a AIBU more of a are we absolutely nuts

[87mum]

9 month old puppy and a newborn, are we/am I crazy?

We've always wanted a dog, and it never seems like the right time. I understand it will be a hell of a lot of work, and I'll no doubt be cursing myself at times but I feel if we don't do it now, we never will.

We are prepared to put in the work over the next 6/7 months to train the puppy and have offers from family and friends. It would be a small dog, mum and dad are very good and easy dogs, and pup is already showing positive signs of being toilet trained.

DH thinks we will be fine, but I am slightly panicked. DS - 6, would love one but we know he won't be much help.

We've discussed the practicalities around giving birth, who does the work once baby is here etc and I do want one but I there's just something stopping me from being fully onboard.

Would you/have you done this? How'd you find it? Am I crazy for even considering it?

At 9 months puppies are tricky and pushing boundaries. We’ve had our dog since she was 8 weeks old and she was THE most perfect puppy…. but still hard work.

I would wait until kiddies are a little bit older and then do it when you can all enjoy the puppy stage

I don’t see why it’s now or never?

I have a nearly 2yo & my DM just got a puppy and even that is chaos. Having my DC at her house is unbearable.

We have an 8 year old dog & honestly even that is stressful. Constantly having to make sure the dog and toddler are separate, never left alone together, toddler doesn’t touch dogs food, bother the dog when they’re sleeping.

The photo a PP posted of a baby on the floor with their 3 dogs honestly made me feel sick. I worked in a rescue centre for 10 years. The baby’s and toddlers who get bitten by dogs are always from the parents who say “it came out of nowhere” & the dog is “usually so good natured”. Doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. You just cannot have your baby or toddler around your dog/s unless you are indirect contact with that child to intervene if needed. It takes a second for tragedy.

Everything mentioned is exactly what I'm worried about. I am a planner and I fully appreciate I cannot plan how either of these would go, which is what's causing me to have doubts.
I'm going to speak to DH and share what everyone's said. He would never go into it without my backing, and it is very much a we decision

& the baby is holding the dogs bowl in the photo 😵‍💫

Aka in its wild teenage stage where theyre known to be arseholes (sometimes)!

I had a much older dog and a newborn.

my advice. Don’t make life unnecessarily harder for yourself. If you can choose not to buy a puppy at this point, don’t.

walking an ignored hyperactive puppy when you’ve not slept in 3 days is a chore you can do without trust me!!!

I did. I was 7 months pregnant with DC1 when we got ddog2 at 8 weeks. Motherhood was a bit of a shock to the system but the puppy was brilliant. After ddog1 died we got another puppy to keep that one company - and we had 3 nursery age children at that point.

I never had puppy blues or regrets though, and we trained the dogs well. I was around a lot of "dog people" at that point too, who just assumed that you fit the puppies and babies into your life in a mutually supportive way. So I guess it rubbed off on me.

Did have to watch the dog's weight though - once DC1 discovered the delight of throwing food across the kitchen for him from the high chair ! Dogs are really useful for clearing kitchen floors under high chairs.......

My 2 shih tzu's will be 2 and the second will be 8 months when my twins are born and I have no regrets. I chose to get them and i love them. Not their fault I'm pregnant.

I volunteer in dog rescue.

You wouldn’t believe how many dogs we get in from situations like these.

This is hilarious!
😂😂😂😂😂😂

I have a 3yo Labrador and he was such hard work between 11-15 months, after which he really calmed down and he is a lovely gentle boy now. You would be going back to work after ML right over the 'naughty period'. You would need to see how that would work.

YABU

Life is hard enough with a baby, without creating work for yourself.

Its extra cleaning (fur, poo & pee), the garden gets dirty, the floor gets dirty, you have to walk it even when it’s raining and dark, it can bark/whine and wake baby, it’s harder to have people round/go out all day, they’re expensive etc etc

I am a dog lover and honestly think that nothing compares to the love of a dog but you would be absolutely mad to get one when you have a baby and it wouldn’t be fair on the dog or baby.

Nothing is as special as when your kids are older and they get a puppy.
I watch videos of it and I cry every time because the joy on their faces is everything.

Wait until your child is older and they can help walk it, play with it, become best friends with it and appreciate it.

Yes, I think you would be absolutely nuts to have a 9 month old dog and new born baby. I'd enjoy the baby, then all enjoy the puppy in the future when your baby is old enough to enjoy the puppy as well.

🤣🤣

I dont have kids but i have an almost 2 year old dog. He takes up a lot of time. A LOT

The problem is that's exactly what people say and then the baby arrives and all of sudden in many cases the dog finds itself in a rescue centre. It's so naïve to say you would never do that when you have no idea of what type of child you may end up with.

I'm really sorry, but that photo makes me feel a bit sick - and I say that as a dog lover and owner.

You have your baby on the floor, playing with a dog bowl, surrounded by three massive dogs and think it's acceptable. Eeeeesh.

I waited until my children were school age before we got a dog. Too much effort to have both young.
My friend got a puppy when her daughter was a toddler. The puppy lasted six months. It was a lob snd too boisterous with a small child.
Why not have the baby and then see how you feel?

If one of those dogs decided to snap at or bite your baby, it's not adequately supervised or safeguarded. It's irresponsible to put a baby in that position IMO.

Any sensible dog owner will tell you that you can never say "s/he would never bite" because for reasons including medical issues or fear responses, any dog has the potential to snap at or bite someone.

Putting your little baby amongst three dogs to take a picture where there clearly wouldn't be enough time to stop an injury happening is not in the best interests of either the baby or the dogs.

Well I’m speaking from experience but I suppose not all dogs can be such a good boy as mine!

Absolutely do not do this. A 9 month old dog is still a LOT. you’ll be learning about managing two DCs, in a new born sleep deprived fug and helping your older child to adjust.

even if you have plots of help won’t he dog there’s no way you won’t resent the extra mess / jobs etc.

I love my dog. So do my boys. He was 8 years old when I had ny second - and he still drove me potty some days with his shedding / barking / dogness - none of which were his fault, he is a furry angel. He didn’t deserve it.

We got a puppy and then got pregnant the week after! Worked out fine although we were a bit eeek at the time.

However she was in her teenage phase when I was heavily pregnant and it was a nightmare with running off/ refusing to come on the lead. She was 1 when the baby was born so just coming out of it.

She's chilled out loads now though. I loved the little baby walks in the sling with her and now I have a toddler they are playmates. But we purposely got a pedigree who was breed to have an excellent temperament and socialised really early around young children. We also have a regular dog walker.

So yes it can work but really think about it.

I agree.
Your 6 year old will be no help at all with a puppy and might well make everything worse. (Going against what you’ve been training the pup etc). A puppy takes a lot of time and effort. It needs attention. There will be mess. Whatever everyone else claims that they’ll do, YOU will be the one doing the work, and tearing your hair out trying to juggle looking after everyone’s needs.
Surely a newborn and a 6 year old is enough work for anyone?! Have you forgotten the sleep deprived exhaustion of having a newborn (or was your first exceptionally easy?)
In 5 years time your eldest will be old enough to do a fair bit of helping out with a dog. And you won’t have a newborn to look after 24/7.

We had a dog 1 year before dc. If I had the choice again, I would have dc first and then the dog.
Dc is 6 yrs old now, and only now the dog accepts dc is higher in hierarchy.
Was a bit troublesome before. Not when dc was a baby, but when a toddler, unpredictable, loud. Our dog did not like it very much. And dc was not very good at being consistent ofcourse😆

My kids were 8 and 10 when we got a puppy. I would never have got a puppy when they were babies. Not only would it be very tiring but it’s potentially dangerous. Puppies have very sharp teeth, they can be boisterous and excitable and even the sweetest dog can’t be trusted to be alone with very young children/babies.

We got a 15week puppy when dc2 was 16weeks. There were reasons behind it and it wasn't a rash decision.

We've had no issues whatsoever. They're both 2 now and the best of buddies.

Dc2 has been a ridiculously difficult baby so it's not always been easy but it wouldn't have been easy without having the dog either. Looking back, I wouldn't change getting him when we did.