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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When does the fun stuff stop

79 replies

Banditandchilliputustoshame · 02/10/2023 16:17

With kids?

Its exhausting undoubtedly but lots of fun activities with Dd, 5. What age does this generally end..?

OP posts:
Comedycook · 02/10/2023 16:51

Mine are teens but we still have fun...ok it's not soft play or playgrounds. As an example, this summer we swam in the sea and pool together on holiday, we hiked on a nature trail, we went to a pottery cafe, we went shopping, we went to a new patisserie to try out the cakes, we watch comedy TV shows together...to be fair I enjoy these things far more than sitting in soft play

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/10/2023 16:51

I think fun just changes as you get older. My DD12 wouldn’t thank me for soft play now but she’s up for some clothes shopping and a nice lunch out (not McDonalds any more). She loves the theatre and music, will try high ropes courses and out door stuff - she tried ace throwing recently and bloody loved it. It just changes as they grow.

nutellacrepe · 02/10/2023 16:52

Ice creams and cinema trips are not things that are age dependent. Arguably also going to the zoo but I know that's a bit more niche ;)

You can have fun with your children at any age.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 02/10/2023 16:53

I've found that we have different types of fun as my dc have grown older. When they were little it was things like tickle games and rough play; now it's more like jokey conversations and funny songs and harmless pranks.

margotrose · 02/10/2023 16:53

I still have fun with my parents and I'm in my thirties!

Original poster
Banditandchilliputustoshame · 02/10/2023 16:54

Love all these 💜making me excited about the future with Dd. I don’t know why I assumed things would change that much, I just didn’t do much of this with my parents, it’s was all about friends from 11ish, bar shopping really

OP posts:
Milkand2sugarsplease · 02/10/2023 16:54

Eldest is almost 11 and loves time in his room gaming with friends but equally loves going out with us for activities - cinema, crazy golf etc but also dog walks and alatte in Costa.

multiholk · 02/10/2023 16:56

All very wholesome and mine will do all that stuff, on holiday ! But not at home.

generally the easy fun stops at 11. Where you say ‘shall we do c’? And they say YES

after 11 more bribes are required

Tellmeifimwrong · 02/10/2023 16:57

I get a lot of eye rolls and closed doors from my 11 year old but if I tempt her out with the right things (Starbucks, cinema, shopping) I get a more enthusiastic response. The fun returns when we're on holiday too!

uuughhhshsh · 02/10/2023 16:58

My eldest is 5 and none of those things are fun at all.

Cinema - we tried this at 4.5 and they were bored and playing up within 30mins and we had to leave.

Zoos - normally massive, they start whinging after a few hours as they’re tired from walking and want to be carried.

Bouncy castles - they usually get accidentally body slammed by a kid twice their size and it ends in tears.

Ice cream - they drop it (again, tears), don’t eat it quickly enough so it melts all over their hands and clothes, it ends up binned or I have to eat it.

playgrounds - not quite big enough to be let loose to play by themselves, still requires a lot of hovering on the adult’s part to avoid falling off an 8 foot climbing frame and cracking their head open. Also, mind-numbingly boring.

Am I doing it wrong?! I find all of these things stressful. I can’t wait for the days when they can do all of these things without such an extreme level of hands-on attention, and can get through films and day trips without getting bored, having tantrums and playing up.

Lolaandbehold · 02/10/2023 16:59

5 is a lovely age. they still think you’re great and a font of all knowledge and wisdom.
Every age is a different phase but different elements or definitions of fun.

uuughhhshsh · 02/10/2023 17:01

uuughhhshsh · 02/10/2023 16:58

My eldest is 5 and none of those things are fun at all.

Cinema - we tried this at 4.5 and they were bored and playing up within 30mins and we had to leave.

Zoos - normally massive, they start whinging after a few hours as they’re tired from walking and want to be carried.

Bouncy castles - they usually get accidentally body slammed by a kid twice their size and it ends in tears.

Ice cream - they drop it (again, tears), don’t eat it quickly enough so it melts all over their hands and clothes, it ends up binned or I have to eat it.

playgrounds - not quite big enough to be let loose to play by themselves, still requires a lot of hovering on the adult’s part to avoid falling off an 8 foot climbing frame and cracking their head open. Also, mind-numbingly boring.

Am I doing it wrong?! I find all of these things stressful. I can’t wait for the days when they can do all of these things without such an extreme level of hands-on attention, and can get through films and day trips without getting bored, having tantrums and playing up.

Just to add, I do actually enjoy my child! We have lots of fun playing Lego and games at home, lovely chats on the walk to school. We’re definitely in a stage where outings and trips outside of the house are way more stressful than they’re worth and just not enjoyable. I’m hoping this passes soon.

Justtochat · 02/10/2023 17:04

We don’t do so many of the things you described, we try to live our lifestyle, but with our children. Eg I like walking so I walked with my kids to the park yesterday. We like cycling so we’ll do a bike ride and have a picnic on the way. We like visiting nearby villages and our kids like painting so we visited a nearby paint festival recently where there was a kids painting workshop. Don’t put your life on hold - bring your kids into it.

liveforsummer · 02/10/2023 17:10

Dds are 10 14 and still up for anything they can still fit on/in. Thankfully soft play came to a natural end during covid and obviously they can't go bounding on to a bouncy castle with toddlers or attested singing time at the library but there is always fun to be had. Gets better when it's bigger stuff you can join in too imo

Sugarfree23 · 02/10/2023 17:17

I think it depends on the child. And I also think some kids grow away from family during a rebellious teen phase before reconnecting as an adult.

Sunshinenrain · 02/10/2023 17:36

Teen/pre-teen.

Its been the hardest transition for me, as my child went from being a very easy, happy and fun and up for anything child, to someone who was self conscious, not want to do much and rather just spend all day in their room.

It is normal though and they grow out of it.
I’m using this time to try and appreciate having more free time and not being so exhausted 😄

TeenLifeMum · 02/10/2023 17:37

It changes but I love teens. We’ve had a fabulous holiday in Orlando and can take dc to Thorpe park, paddle boarding, country walks with a pub stop. Lots of fun.

RuthW · 02/10/2023 17:44

Mine is 26 and gas never stopped the fun stuff.

TeenLifeMum · 02/10/2023 17:51

I just read some more posts. I think my 12 and 15 yos are different. Dd1 loves hanging out with me and when her friends couldn’t agree on a cinema date said she’d rather see barbie with me anyway. Dtds are 12 and mostly up for anything including soggy dog walks and board games. They’re all super excited about Halloween 🎃

etherealfae · 02/10/2023 17:52

why would u want ur child to just sit in their room and do nothing? Why have kids at all if you can't be arsed to engage with them? what a shitty post

etherealfae · 02/10/2023 17:53

etherealfae · 02/10/2023 17:52

why would u want ur child to just sit in their room and do nothing? Why have kids at all if you can't be arsed to engage with them? what a shitty post

i think i've read the post wrong ignore me 😂 sorry

liveforsummer · 02/10/2023 17:54

Sunshinenrain · 02/10/2023 17:36

Teen/pre-teen.

Its been the hardest transition for me, as my child went from being a very easy, happy and fun and up for anything child, to someone who was self conscious, not want to do much and rather just spend all day in their room.

It is normal though and they grow out of it.
I’m using this time to try and appreciate having more free time and not being so exhausted 😄

Not sure it's that normal. Not among DD's friends anyway.

Dizzy82 · 02/10/2023 17:55

I'm 41, my son is nearly 18, we still do days out, lots of heavy metal music concerts and a 4 day music festival in summer. My mum even comes with us to daya out, concerts and festivals!

Beezknees · 02/10/2023 17:57

Well my 15 year old doesn't want to hang out with me much but when he does we watch a film or go for a coffee which is fun to me! He also loves cars so we sometimes go to the local race track and I can have a wine there. I hated running around the park and soft play so I prefer this age honestly.

MrsHughesPinny · 02/10/2023 18:01

I much prefer mine as a teen! Under 10 was so hard, having to go boring places and sit through kid films. Now he’s older we can go to the theatre, see better films, he’s actually engaged in things at a museum/aquarium/zoo, we can have good conversations…

I also really love the fact he goes out/is happy in his room and I get time to myself!