To ask which values / ideas you would most like to pass onto your child

[Sizzlinginapan]

I have a 6 month old daughter, and on days where I’m not sleep deprived and foggy brained or wiping snot off her cot (she has a cold this week!) I like to think about the values that I’d most like to pass on to her. I promise this isn’t as sanctimonious as it sounds! Really I’m just so excited to watch her grow and form her own personality. I want so badly for her to be happy and confident in herself.

For example, I want to show her that her interests should not be limited by her sex, that she can enjoy traditionally masculine clothes / toys / subjects. But equally I’d like her to be confident in enjoying traditionally feminine things. Also, I want to raise her to be strong enough to withstand peer pressure and challenge nasty behaviour when she sees it (thinking of bullying here).

As a new parent, I want to hear from others which values you would prioritise for your children and how you go about teaching them these 😊 some days feel like such an uphill battle with interrupted sleep and scrubbing out poop stains, so for me it’s nice to also reflect on more positive and exciting things!

Moral integrity

I remind my DC regularly that whatever happens, they are loved and supported for who they are. Especially after taking important exams etc. I want them to be comfortable in their own skin, not who other people think they should be.

This all day long, and loyalty.

That people are more important than money

I want them to understand that life is short and that they should prioritise love, happiness and fun above all else.

Respect. You cannot be rude, racist, a bigot, have bad manners etc. if you have respect for others; their points of view, religions, political opinions, the colour of their skin, how they choose to lead their lives. If you have respect for yourself you do not allow others rudeness, racism, bigotry or bad manners to impact you.

Tolerance, integrity, using their voices where they see injustice (even if it doesn’t directly impact them), authenticity rather than trying to conform at all costs, curiosity, looking for the best in others/seeking to understand others’ views (so I guess emotional intelligence) and chasing success in all its forms, rather than chasing material wealth.

There are loads more but I think those are the key ones.

Compassion - particularly where society’s values generally lacks it - animals, birds, insects, trees, the environment, the voiceless and vulnerable.

For me this includes being at least a vegetarian as I’m second generation veggie/vegan so it’s my family culture.

Kindness and self worth

These are all amazing 😊 the one about making them always feel loved and supported (not sure if I’ve managed to quote it properly!) is top of my list, too. My parents did such a great job of that with me and I don’t ever want my daughter to feel insecure in our love for her.
Really enjoying reading these!

I think that the biggest issue I have is to explain that although I advocate a range of what I consider decent values, sometimes others won't observe these and you have to learn to live with that.
One thing I don't thank my parents for is an over-developed sense of right and wrong in the sense of feeling personally slighted by a lot of bad things that people get away with.

I think the best thing you can do is to encourage her to have healthy self esteem and confidence. Then she will have the courage to be herself rather than follow the crowd.
To make her feel a valuable and much loved member of the family and allow her to become the young women she is naturally meant to be rather than the version you have in your head.

Having confidence and being assertive isn't the same as being confrontational, and that it's fine and normal to have boundaries. All too often on here you read people who are so conflict-averse that they can't speak up for themselves in really low-stakes situations. You can be polite and assertive! It's important to stand up for yourself, and as a parent I try to model how to do that in a way that's polite, respectful and non-confrontational.

The other side of this coin - how to take criticism well, and how to apologise. It can be hard to hear criticism, but it's important to be able to take feedback on board, apologise when you've got it wrong, and learn from your mistakes. Don't get defensive, do offer a genuine apology, and pay attention to where you can improve. I think this one is particularly important in school, both educationally and socially, and it can be hard to get the balance right.

It’s not what you say to them it’s what you do and how you behave. They are likely to mirror your behaviour and copy how you interact with the world.

I agree action is as important as what you say to them but strongly believe that "talking" is an invaluable part of family life, whether it be a reassurance from a parent's perspective or a child wanting to open up to a parent/guardian about their worries. It can also be a big comfort to hear that they are loved just as they are.

Kindness to animals.

Good manners.

Never ever having any kind of left wing views.

Curiosity.

Questioning.

Do not take everything at face value.

Don't be afraid to be an individual.

That taxation is a fair way of sharing wealth in society and that “hard work” is not connected to how much money you earn.

Live and let live, pretty much just that.

My LO is 9 months and we started going to church (CoE) regularly when she was born. I'm hoping regular Interaction at Sunday school and with a church family will help to teach her to be kind, social, caring, confident and fight against poverty and hardship, to help those in need.

I could try and instill it all in her myself, but at church she gets interactions with all ages who embrace similar values.

I'm sure I'll get lots of criticism from the anti religious lobby, but it works for us.

Kindness and manners are free so use them!

Obviously kindness,manners etc.
Always told my kids to stand up for themselves. If they think they're right about something then to stand their ground- but if they're in the wrong then admit it and apologise.
That they will not be everyone's cup of tea- not everyone will like them.And that's not a bad thing, it's just the way of the world!

I think I’d like him to know I enjoy his company. My mum often says having small kids was the best time of her life, she loved every second. But my memories was always of her running around, working full time, picking us up, shopping, cooking etc. I always felt like we was getting underfoot, so when she says it was the happiest time of her life it confuses me.

So I’d like my baby to know how much I love his company.

Pretty much this word for word.