To ask which values / ideas you would most like to pass onto your child

[Sizzlinginapan]

I have a 6 month old daughter, and on days where I’m not sleep deprived and foggy brained or wiping snot off her cot (she has a cold this week!) I like to think about the values that I’d most like to pass on to her. I promise this isn’t as sanctimonious as it sounds! Really I’m just so excited to watch her grow and form her own personality. I want so badly for her to be happy and confident in herself.

For example, I want to show her that her interests should not be limited by her sex, that she can enjoy traditionally masculine clothes / toys / subjects. But equally I’d like her to be confident in enjoying traditionally feminine things. Also, I want to raise her to be strong enough to withstand peer pressure and challenge nasty behaviour when she sees it (thinking of bullying here).

As a new parent, I want to hear from others which values you would prioritise for your children and how you go about teaching them these 😊 some days feel like such an uphill battle with interrupted sleep and scrubbing out poop stains, so for me it’s nice to also reflect on more positive and exciting things!

Be kind.
Be confident.
Hold your hands up when/if you're wrong.
There's no shame in putting yourself first at times.

One I learned late in life...
You don't have to respect people that show you no respect.

Your parenting and values get more tested when they are teens.

You teen discloses something bad about your friends child. Break the confidence and tell the other parents or not?

Your normally well behaved teen does something wrong but is morally justifiable. How do you advise her to act when interviewed by the school?

And so on. We can all do the warm words about values and morals then the shit gets real…

Oh, and although there will definitely be ups and downs life isn't a dress rehearsal so make everyday count.

Yep. I would try and pass on some of my resilience. It is important for kids to experience the normal discomfort and disappointments that we all experience in life, and be encouraged in working through and overcoming them. That is how we become strong and parents can support children through that in a safe way.

A lot of adults lack resilience because they never learned to deal with discomfort or to tolerate things not going their way. It makes life much more difficult.