Why do some people always complain?

[IaskUanswer]

Specially people who have (almost) everything.
They have a partner, kids, health, job, hobbies…

Shouldn’t life be pretty good, can they really afford to complain so much.

Are they just type of people who will never be happy?
Why do they become such people?

I think they had parents who complained all the time or liked to nit pick aka narcissistic tendencies. Occasionally I find it’s more materialistic people.

After all parents tend to become our inner voices so I think upbringing has a lot to answer for.

Yes of course they can complain - just because you think you know everything about them I’m sure there’s plenty going on you don’t know about.

I complain a lot. About all sorts of things. Why should I not be allowed to? Boris Johnson, wasted money on covid poi. my local hospital individual incompetence meaning you can't get an MRI. I don't make such mistakes in my job. Why should I have to put up with such incompetence from others?

I think they had parents who complained all the time

I just spend the weekend with my parents and that actually inspired me to make this thread!
They have everything, twice over, and yet, all they ever do is complain and whine about everything. Never anything nice to say.
But I’m not like that.

People love to complain because they think they're entitled to a better life or better standard of treatment or service than they are receiving.

Sometimes they're correct, sometimes they're wrong but complaining is something lots of people like to do.

Everyone can complain about whatever they want. It doesn't mean you or I or anyone else should take them seriously or validate their complaints but they still can do it.

At work we used to say "a moaning carer is a happy carer" and it was true. It was always the moaners who stayed for years and years. Moaning.

Some people ALWAYS complain and moan. I know someone who does it for attention. Some do it because they are just negs. Some do it to overtake positives when in the group and have everyone miserable - that includes negging other's things.
Many reasons

Complain about what, though? People are allowed to pissed off by things that are shit. For example, miserable weather or a delayed train or someone being rude to you or the car breaking down don't somehow become less annoying because you've got a nice partner/house/kids/job.

I complain if something isn't right. I always complain if food is bad, if a room is shoddy. If I've been miss-sold something.

I think too many establishments rely on Brits not complaining, not making a fuss.

My husband will visibly cringe if I say something but it's too expensive not to say.

Last year we booked into a Doubletree delux king room for a quiet two nights break from the children.

The window didn't open as the catch was broken, almost every item of furniture was damaged or in disrepair. The bath didn't drain and the furnishing was almost threadbare.

To top it off almost every other room was occupied by two huge weddings parties.

We only paid half in the end. I didn't make a fuss but I did point out constructively that what we booked and what we received were quite different.

I think standards have plummeted since Covid. It's probably the cost of living and establishments cutting back but if I'm miss-sold I will always say.

Like others I expect the standard I would give myself.

I complain a lot because standards and service has become very poor especially since Covid. If no one says anything then businesses etc will continue to get away with it. I feel it is our duty as a member of society to maintain good working practices. If I, an educated person, with time and energy can't get good service how can those less fortunate. So many companies rely on poorly trained 'customer service assistants' who do not offer assistance and who forget we are the customer without whom they would not be paid.

I have a relative who moans about everything, it’s all he does. I can’t be around him anymore because he’s so draining! He has a nice life but can’t seem to find any joy in it at all!

It depends what they're complaining about surely.

The idea that people should be artificially happy and not express annoyance because someone might have it worse seems like an unhealthy outlook.

People are confusing normal complaining and the ultimate negative marathon complainers.
Everyone complains, some do it like they are racing for a medal

Normalsizedsalad
I think it's because the OP's post sounds very much like if someone looking in thinks your life is great then you can't have much to complain about, rather than about people who are endlessly moaning.

I can think of many thinks someone might complain about with a nice life.
For example, someone might be aware they're lucky to own their house, but also complain that their mortgage payments have gone through the roof because Truss and her cronies played roulette with the economy. Someone might have a nice job and still be frustrated about the cost of living increases. The idea that they shouldn't complain about it because they've got a nice house and hobbies seems a bit much to me.

I don't know if whingeing is the same thing? My Mum is like this, just starts ranting on about something - bin men usually - says things that aren't quite correct so I look them up and give her the right information trying to be helpful only to then be told she's just making conversation. It is so, so exhausting.

I find constant complainers just a complete drain and I wish they'd not offload on me, it's just talking (mostly) nonsense for the sake of it.

Im probably your parents age and I’ve noticed as you age you can quickly become a moaner. I’m fairly sure I try (and fail) to not do it myself!

I would guess that’s it’s just part of human psychology to need to moan and the more you have, the more trivial your moans become.

I can remember learning about Maslow Hierarchy of Needs. Once basic needs are fulfilled (food, water, shelter, security) you start seeking fulfilment in lesser important things (the trains run on time, bin men and rude retail staff).

Also that satisfaction wanes over time and dissatisfactions increase.

One of my neighbours is a chronic moaner.
You can say "good morning" and ask how they are and it's 50/50 whether you get a pleasant, brief conversation (which might involve an update on something negative that's happened) or whether it turns into a long rant about how society isn't what it used to be, politics, something irrelevant that to them is tangentially related and I'm left trying to politely exit the conversation because I need to get DC to breakfast club so can't stand to listen about why hospital wait times are the fault of whichever group has ruffled their feathers this week.

I hate complaining it gives me awful anxiety. But if you get awful service and don't complain things will not change. I've had to complain about my doctors surgery recently and it made me feel rubbish but they made a serious error and only acknowledged the mistake when I formally complained. Before that they acted like they had done no wrong so if I'd left it there nothing would have changed. Also had to complain about our local council not too long ago. I don't think anyone actually enjoys to complain do they?

Oh, do you mean just whinging about stuff? I may have read this wrong 🤣

I know someone like this. Every time she's been on holiday you know when she reports it's never going to just be 'had a lovely time', it's going to be drama from start to finish. That's just one example, but it's the same for her weekend, her day off, everything.

I think for her it's just a way to get attention. The 'ahhhs' and 'I'm sorry's' are more fulfilling for her than the 'sounds great' replies.

Another person I know who's like this but to a terrible degree has what I suspect is EUPD. Someone could literally tell her 'hello' with you stood right next to her witnessing it and she'd say 'did you SEE the way she looked at me when she said that? Did you HEAR her tone? She has a problem with me!' When really, a person just said hello.

Both people are incredibly exhausting, and I've completely cut myself off from the latter.

There's a difference between isolated incidents and constant complaining. There a type of person that you can say 'how are you?' to and you'll ALWAYS be met with a long sigh and a saga. I believe those are the types that OP is referring to.

I love this description

'Marathon Complainers' 😂

The worst are whingers who ask you to help them sort issues then ignore and whinge again next yime you see them.

Just to point out because it wasn't until DH piinted it out to me (nd I don't consider myself dummy)

If someone is constantly whinging to you about others, do not for a second think they don't say same things about you when you are not there. You are not their support friend, you are their source of moaning like others are.

Their bar for happiness is very high.
I consider myself fortunate in that mine is fairly low, and it doesn't take a lot to keep me happy, so I don't feel much need to moan.
Recently went on a work event with a colleague. She complained about the food, the size of the hotel room, the tedium of the speakers and the hour delay for the train coming home. All I saw was plenty to eat that i hadnt had to pay for, a comfy bed in a clean warm room, being able to sit back and listen to some presentations rather than dealing with the day job, and that there was only an hour delay which I spent reading my book, so no harm done.

Can’t stand constant complainers. Like you, op, I’d say my parents are more on the negative side. Ok, they’ve had problems in life as we all have, but they have a beautiful home in a beautiful part of the country, retired in their 50’s, go abroad 3-4 times a year, have nature and beaches all around and are still quite negative and complain about things. I almost feel like my mum has never had to rough it in any way as often complains about beds, pillows, places she stays etc. I’m pretty easily pleased with these things and am generally grateful for the small things. I’m ill a lot though, which brings me down, so the times I’m not ill I’m just v grateful not to be and to feel ok and live life
My family used to complain about things at Christmas-repeats on tv, the weather etc etc…I was just grateful to be off work for two weeks, drinking, eating, indulging, spending time with family-I’m no annoying Pollyanna 😂but want to enjoy my life as much as I can