asking my friend whos supposed to be coming down for the weekend NOT to bring her dog?

[nailpolish]

i dont like dogs. i really really dont. its bad enough visiting people who have a dog, i just try to ignore the dog, but i will not have a dog in my house. no way. and my friend who is coming for a weekend wants to bring her dog. why cant she laeve it at home with her husband? because he goes out and gets pished up and then sleeps all day with a hangover and the dog wont get walked she says...

now shes in huff cos i said i dont want that dog in my house (its not even a nice dog)

also, if i pick up one of the children, the dog goes crazy nd barks like mad. snarls etc, at me and child in arms

friend says "oh she (dog) is v protective of children and doesnt like them being picked up"

it jsut gets worse

bluestocking

thats EXACTLY what dh said ages ago

I think its maybe time then to have a more serious chat with friend re you and her dog

she has to respect the fact that being frightened of dogs is a VALID and well docmented fear - just stress its all dogs and not just hers and it make you and the wee one nervous - not bloody surprised, sounds like a horrible mut

sorry took me that long to type that last post I missed the IVF bit.Hubby is just gonna have to have the dog no wonder she wants to come if he gets pissed up and sleeps all day.....some shoulder to cry on that would be!
If she just comes to you and leaves the dog with him not much he can do about it once shes out the door.

McDreamy - do tell. I'm very intrigued (nosy)

yes spit it out mcdreamy

YANBU. Desperately sad for her but it doesn't absolve her of consideration for others.

You have lots of reasons to not want her dog there but actually it's your house so even if you just didn't want it there that should be enough! Especially as she has her dh to look after the dog!!!!!

I would stand your ground on this one. She is behaving unreasonably but I am prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt because she is obviously upset. If she is hanging up the phone maybe send her an email explaining why you don't want the dog there and saying it is a real shame if she feels she can't come as a result - you would love to see her but you understand if she chooses not to. Then if she doesn't send her a bunch of flowers / pampering voucher / something else that is more her instead

i might send her flowers. thanks for that suggestion

fedup - yes

lol at ShizzletheGoat

I think your pal has completely lost perspective on this one. It'll be a hard job to show her the light, tbh. It is a harsh and sad truth that if she had children she might understand [irony] unless she just a selfish sort to begin with.

YANBU

Unfortunately she's equating 'please leave the dog behind' with 'I hate the thing the you love most in the world'

I note you haven't asked her dh to visit too. I can see why.

her dh has been before, but he doesnt sleep in the spare bed. he sleeps on the floor becaue he gets so drunk he can piss the bed. friend ahs lost count how many mattresses shes gone through

god, it just gets better doesn't it

dh pisses and dog shits everywhere - nice family party tricks [grin

sorry not meaning to be unsensitive

its ok dizzy

its jsut the tip of the iceberg too

lordy ladynailly - you get saint of the day award in my eyes for even tolerating half of this

please don't you be upset by it, you are most definately not being unreasonable at all

oooh, dear. Poor woman.

But you are definitley NBU, and it is her DH's responsibility to look after the dog responsibly so that she can have a nice time. However hard you try, you can't compensate her for the failure of the IVF or her DH's crap behaviour...so you could end up running around trying, and failing every time.

The snarling over the children business is terrible...but i can see it is hard to say to her 'the dog can't come because I have children to protect, you know' jjust atm.

Can you meet her on some neutral territory somewhere, for lunch or a day out?

i cant this weekend, blu, cos my dh is away. unless i take the children with me. but then i cnat chat to her properly. which is what the plan was - she stays overnight, when the childen are in bed we can have a drink and a chat,

i htnk ill send her flowers this weekend and arrnge to meet her another weekend. saturday lunch or whatever

Warning it's very sad........friends dog killed my 12 week old kitten

oh jesus mcdreamy that is unbelievably sad.

im so sorry

It was awful, absolutely awful. Luckily the children had just been rounded up and were on their way upstairs for a bath so didn't see it...........very strained evening followed

What about saying you think DC has allergies so can she not bring the dog?

YANBU. If you don't want het dog in teh house, then you don't need to have it. Why she is bringing it, I don't know. I think it is rude. It might mean a fall out though,so beware what you decide. Some people are really unreasonable about stuff....

OH, didn't read full thread there. Sad that she has such an awful time of it - god what is that DH doing wetting the bed??? And McDreamy, I am horrified. Thank goodness the kids didn't see!!

Never in a million years would I have someone to stay that wanted to bring a dog.

Make that a trillion for a barking, shitting untrained yobbo of a dog!

mcdreamy how terrible for you and your children i am shocked