Just got home from evening business meeting and dinner with client to find .......

[clumsymum]

Kitchen is a tip, ds is sitting at the top of the stairs in tears, the dog has upset a cup of hot chocolate on the living room carpet, and my "mother's help" is sitting watching TV.

So dh (we were both at the meeting) has settled ds in bed, then taken the MH home (she has forgotten to tax her car, so can't use it this week), while I've tidied the kitchen and wiped up the carpet.

Am I being unreasonable to expect just a bit better...?

Doesn't sound like MH should have been sitting watching tv amid all that chaos. How old is she?

MH should be Mothers Hindrance if that's what you come home to.
Poor you.
Glass of wine and a Chinese takeaway?

Lyra, she's 48, and seemed soo sensible, but it seems to be slipping recently.

I've notice a wrapper from a bar of chocolate in the bin, I hope she hasn't let him eat the whole bar.

She's old enough to know better. Get rid!

Right then, if I do get rid (and I'm pretty close atm), how do I find someone else?

I want someone part-time, to do school pick-ups in termtime, and 2 full days (or 4 part days) per week in school hols, plus the occasional evening babysit.
I'd prefer a mature person, and I'm not fussed as to gender.

get rid, she sounds a pain in the ass, though wouldn't worry about the choc bar wrapper, she may have eaten the choc bar herself, or shared it with DS (which is what i usually do)

get rid.
find someone by asking local mums groups, other mums you know in your area. where do you live? where i live there are billions of ways to find someone like that.
how much do you pay her?

Get rid. The job description is in the title!!

PSCMUM, we live in north nottinghamshire.

What are these billions of ways? I pay 6.70 ph.

Ds told me this morning she didn't make him brush his teeth last night, and the dog's water bowl had been empty too, when we came in..

It gets worse!
Get rid asap!!!

put an advert in the local paper. Ive seen adverts like that in them before.

can you not use a childminder for the daytimes and a babysitter as and when - i think it'd be cheaper plus a childminder is a professional[ok i'm a c/m!!]
otherwise have a blardy word with your MH she probably has just got misplacent and needs a kick up the arse

I don't really want to use a childminder. I prefer the idea that ds comes home, and gets one-to-one with a CARER (MH seems to have stopped actually caring), and can do things like invite friends round for tea. A mother's help can also do things like emptying the dishwasher, bring in the washing etc, a little 'lite' housework.

Also I do sometimes go on from work to evening meetings & so on, so the logistics of getting him home and handing over to a babysitter would be awkward.

And finally, I'd really like ONE person to be his childcare, rather than a revolving door of 2 or 3.

yes i can understand that as you work long , child unfriendly hours - do you think your MH will work better if you write her a schedule?

She was watching tv while your child was crying? She needs to go.

go to gumtree and find a nice student. a nice young girl, possibly one who is studying to be a nurse or a primary teacher, who likes children and will be keen and smiley and adore your ds

older is not necessarily better

or better still put an ad up in the local college where the teachers and nurses do their training

their tutors will be glad to give you a ref

plus they will have had a disclosure check for their training

But if they're studying at college would they be able to commit to the type of hours clumsy wants. I know when I was a student nurse I couldn't have helped her. For one thing I was so knackered on my day off I needed to sleep or study!!

i was knackered on my days off too but i had to have a part time job or i would have starved! a mothers help would have been ideal for me

I thought 'Mothers Help' were not supposed to be in sole charge of the child ? I thought they were someone who came to the house and looked after or helped with household tasks whilst the parent was actually there.

I thought what you describe was termed an Au Pair or a Nanny.

Anyway, whatever the title, she sounds useless. Get rid !

Ok, I wouldn't have dreamed of it, maybe there are some students out there that would be interested then.

Mother's Helps can have sole charge for short periods, it is au pairs who aren't meant too.

Ah.

Just goes to show what I know !

"go to gumtree and find a nice student. a nice young girl, possibly one who is studying to be a nurse or a primary teacher, who likes children and will be keen and smiley and adore your ds", now that's what I want, but preferably one who will notice when the carpet needs a run over with the Vac (I do have a cleaning lady two mornings a week to do it properly)

Or even a bloke, who'll be inclined to give ds a kickabout, be able to get changed in the same changing room at the swimming pool, and might persuade ds that he CAN ride a bike. Still needs to vac tho, so might be more difficult.