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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get irritated about "I didn't want to read and run"?

45 replies

KateMiddletonsExtensions · 30/09/2023 17:40

I mean, if you do, who knows that you read it and ran? It seems so silly and strange and pointless really to write it.

OP posts:
Diddleflop · 30/09/2023 17:42

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Cheeesus · 30/09/2023 17:43

It bumps it up so someone else might see it in their ‘active conversations’. Also I think on desktop you can see how many views your post has had, so it could be a bit demoralising to see loads of people reading but not commenting.

OhMyFriend · 30/09/2023 17:44

Surely people write this to let op know that someone has read the thread and wants to be supportive, without having anything practical to say, and to boost the thread so others find it? It’s not to do with other people knowing you read and ran Confused

KateMiddletonsExtensions · 30/09/2023 17:44

Cheeesus · 30/09/2023 17:43

It bumps it up so someone else might see it in their ‘active conversations’. Also I think on desktop you can see how many views your post has had, so it could be a bit demoralising to see loads of people reading but not commenting.

I didn't know that thanks.

OP posts:
KateMiddletonsExtensions · 30/09/2023 17:45

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I get irritated with a few responders too. Especially those smarty-pants ones. Maybe one will come along on this thread, who knows?

OP posts:
Westfacing · 30/09/2023 17:46

I read it as an OP is in need of help and may seem desperate, then someone will respond to say 'I can't help with your sad situation but just to say you're not alone and someone with experience will be along soon'.

I see it as a kind act.

Niinja · 30/09/2023 17:46

Yeah I just see it as a "I hear you, even if I didn't write a very useful or long reply". Even if it didn't bump it up I think it would have value.

minou123 · 30/09/2023 17:47

The only I time see that phrase is on threads where no one has responded to the Op.

It's normally something the Op needs support for, but nobody has responded for 30mins to an hour.

The poster wants the Op to feel they have support, but they just doesnt have the time to give a full answer at the moment.

gamerchick · 30/09/2023 17:48

It bumps it up for those who might be able to help. There are a lot of threads at any one time which have zero replies because they've fell off.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 30/09/2023 17:49

I think it tends to be on threads where someone is very upset, it in one case that I saw contemplating suicide. Just letting someone know you care enough to bother replying, even if you can't help, may do a little bit to make the OP feel less bad I think.

Pix56 · 30/09/2023 17:49

Just posting to say that I didn't want to read and run

LoveMyHome · 30/09/2023 17:50

I didn't want to read and run, but just wanted to tell you that you're probably not alone, but you probably won't be popular for saying it either because it's the done thing when you don't feel you can give you a full attention but you do want to mention something to support the OP and be helpful.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 30/09/2023 17:50

😂

Diddleflop · 30/09/2023 17:53

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SwedishEdith · 30/09/2023 17:57

I first saw it when mn was really, really small and you could read all of a day's posts in 30 minutes. So it would feel as though you were "seen" posting on another thread but ignoring the one with someone in distress. I mean, it's meant with kindness so I couldn't get worked up about it

Americano75 · 30/09/2023 18:12

It's nice to be nice isn't it?

KateMiddletonsExtensions · 30/09/2023 18:19

Westfacing · 30/09/2023 17:46

I read it as an OP is in need of help and may seem desperate, then someone will respond to say 'I can't help with your sad situation but just to say you're not alone and someone with experience will be along soon'.

I see it as a kind act.

I've said that, but not the read and run thing because I didn't get the point.

OP posts:
KateMiddletonsExtensions · 30/09/2023 18:21

Pix56 · 30/09/2023 17:49

Just posting to say that I didn't want to read and run

😂😂😂

OP posts:
Madamwahselle · 30/09/2023 18:24

Smarty pants

🤣🤣

NChannnnge · 30/09/2023 18:26

KateMiddletonsExtensions · 30/09/2023 18:19

I've said that, but not the read and run thing because I didn't get the point.

...well that is exactly the point...

TheThunderer · 30/09/2023 18:28

It's not about people knowing whether you read and ran. It's about showing a bit of support and empathy to someone who's going through a hard time, even if you can't give useful/practical advice.

When an OP posts about some grim problem and nobody has responded yet, it can feel a bit callous to just click away from that page and look for something more fun.

nutellacrepe · 30/09/2023 18:30

I think it's kind to bump up threads for people by commenting, but I don't like the phrase 'didn't want to read and run' because it sort of shames people who read it and didn't reply.

It's fine to not reply. Sometimes people don't know what to say or just don't want to comment. There's nothing wrong with that.

'Read and run' to me sounds similar to 'hit and run' which is obviously a very shameful and awful act.

So whilst I get the sentiment and agree with it, I dislike the phrase 'read and run'.

Diddleflop · 30/09/2023 18:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

UsingChangeofName · 30/09/2023 19:13

TheThunderer · 30/09/2023 18:28

It's not about people knowing whether you read and ran. It's about showing a bit of support and empathy to someone who's going through a hard time, even if you can't give useful/practical advice.

When an OP posts about some grim problem and nobody has responded yet, it can feel a bit callous to just click away from that page and look for something more fun.

This.

I quite regularly look at 'Unanswered Threads' to see if there are threads I can bump for people when they sound like they need support, but I know I am not the best person to help.

squirrlebutkin · 30/09/2023 19:15

OhMyFriend · 30/09/2023 17:44

Surely people write this to let op know that someone has read the thread and wants to be supportive, without having anything practical to say, and to boost the thread so others find it? It’s not to do with other people knowing you read and ran Confused

Yes. Bit bemused at how this is not understood. But this isn’t the first thread in this topic, so..