Was I rude?

[EarlyBirds2]

I don't think I was, but happy to be told otherwise...

I worked in child care for many years, as a nanny. I haven't worked with kids for 3 years now though and no longer have any child care profiles online (deactivated them all when I stopped working with kids). Somehow parents have still managed to find my details from somewhere and I've had the odd email/text but always politely told them that I don't work in child care anymore.

It's never bothered me... until tonight. I was lying in bed half asleep and at 11pm my phone started ringing. I didn't recognise the number (definitely not family or friends) so just ignored it and figured if it was important they'd leave a voicemail. A few minutes later and I received a text saying "We are looking for a nanny/babysitter to look after our 19 month old son. Days are Tues-Thurs. Are you available?"

It really pissed me off so I replied "Don't you think it's rude to call someone, let alone a stranger at this time of night? It's also polite to address someone or even just say hello in a message too. Manners cost nothing, and no I don't work in childcare anymore". They haven't responded and to be honest I'm not surprised. I sent the message and immediately thought maybe I overacted. On the other hand, is it really acceptable to call someone at this time of night? Especially when it's not even an emergency and could have waited until tomorrow. That and the abrupt message, just really wound me up. If they had contacted me at a normal time during the day/evening I would have politely responded like I have with all the other parents over the years.

AIBU?

I think you were rude in your reply but they deserved it. I wouldn't dream of calling anyone let alone a stranger that late at night and their message was quite rude as well. However I would be inclined to find out where got your details from. As thats strange they are still managing to find contact details if you have taken profiles off.

They were really rude. You were within your rights to be rude back. Maybe they'll think in future!

I can't believe people saying you were rude! They were totally OTT rude - not only the time (wtf?) but also the entitled wording of their message! The polite message should be sent during working hours and read "Hello, we are XYZ, got your details from ZYX.... &c". Any reply to their text is just what the CFs deserve.
You are so NBU!

They were really rude to phone at that time of night. You went way overboard with your reply though.

Good to you! So bloody rude of them.

You need to google your phone number to find out what sites it's on. I organised one Fair for our community nursery and advertised for some stall holders and all of a sudden my phone number was added to all sorts of online lists re fairs and village hall hires and I was getting random calls from all sorts. I contacted them and had them remove my number and eventually the calls stopped. Next time I'll use a disposable number.... lol!

You weren't rude at all, I applaud you.
Some people just don't have any manners. I especially dislike the ones who don't say anything at the end of a call, just put the phone down without a goodbye or other such ending

Very rude,but why have your phone in your bedroom at night? Or at least put it on do not disturb

The callers were very rude indeed. I don't think you were rude - just blunt.

But even if you had been, they deserved it!

I was always brought up to understand that you don't call anyone after 9.00 pm unless it's an emergency (unless family/close friends). This is for obvious reasons, but also I get the fright of my life when a late call comes in - I always dread hearing some terrible news, because that's the only reason I (personally) could think of for disturbing someone late at night (or early in the morning).

Watch the Larry David series 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' where the comedy is based on this convention - very funny!

Your response was perfectly acceptable!

No you weren’t rude- in that you were responding appropriately to someone else’s extreme rudeness. Ringing a stranger at 11pm to try to hire a service is extremely rude.

And demonstrates why they appear to be desperate for babysitting, if that’s the way they treat people.

Yabu for not doing a better job of taking your details down. Haven't you asked any of the people that called you where they got your details from and then attempted to get rid of it?

But I hope that person has learned some calling etiquette, 11pm is defo too late to call and not addressing you is rude. Sounds like she needed to be told.

Yanbu. I would be furious being called So late and probably would have ended up laying awake half the night.
Some people just don't have any sense of what it appropriate and think the rest of the world is solely to serve them

The only thing you could have done differently would have been to ring their number at 5am!

They were inconsiderate and rude, which many believe is perfectly acceptable towards someone who is providing any sort of service, or they think should be.
I don't think your response was disproportionate at all, though I doubt they'll learn from it because people like that expect deference at every turn and when they don't get it they feel aggrieved at the other party rather than reflect on how their own behaviour brought the situation about.

They probably thought they had contacted Jo Frost. 😂

YANBU. And I hope they are on MN.

very odd that they were calling and texting at that time of night and a bit OTT on your part also. Anyway, it is done now, forget about and put it the back of your mind.

This.

I really think many children aren't being taught manners anymore.

Can you imagine how bad working for them would be - no boundaries.

Personally I don't mind a text late as I have my phone on silent usually.

Well they were rude, and then you were a bit rude back.

So it’s evens. Worry not.

They were rude and sometimes you have to get to a level they understand. I don't think you were rude op. Far too many people are so passive these days.

You were far more polite than I would have been!

Yes you were rude, but they deserved it!

You weren't rude at all. You are effectively cold-called at 11.00pm at night by someone who can't even be arsed to say hello and somehow you are meant to be a Pollyanna in response? Fuck that noise.

They were inconsiderate and rude, which many believe is perfectly acceptable towards someone who is providing any sort of service, or they think should be

Yes, I agree with this and I think it's that that has skewed the replies to somehow paint OP in a bad light! There are many people on MN who seem to consider cleaners/nannies etc. as their 'staff'. Contactable and available whenever they see fit.

No op wasn't rude at all. You must be one of those people! You address people so rudely, no hello or apologies for the late message??
You sound rude yourself if you think op is the rude one.

I'm on a FB site for a specific baby issue, and offered free items I had that is always out of stock. Rude idiot messaged me to drop it off to her! No please and thank you. I don't care how desperate she was, can't excuse no manners.