To just ignore people

[SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh]

I have twins and I am so fed up with people asking me the. Same. Fucking. Questions. 100 times a day. "Are they twins?", "Are they natural?", "is it a lot of work?" Blablabla.

I tried to be patient, maybe it's elderly people who like a little chat, maybe it's a way for other parents who just want to start a conversion..

But it's getting unbearable. It never stops. In the street, the park, the bus, the playgroup l, the shop. And most people just ask their questions then turn their backs and leave. They just want to say they saw twins. How fucking weird. Some just stop me while I walk, grab my arm and you can see how nosey they are.

I am losing my patience. WIBU to just ignore them and pretend I don't see them. I don't have it in me to be polite anymore at this point. I just want to enjoy my time with my kids withoit entertaining nosey fuckers slightly curious people and have the same conversation 30 times.

What a joy you are.

Yes you would be unreasonable.

Just tell them there was a buy one get one free offer that day.

Sorry, exhausted raising two babies and close to tears every day because I can't just enjoy my day without hving to answer the same questions from people who then just turn around and leave me there like a dirty sock.

But yeah,I guess I am an anti social cunt to people, if they could just sense it and leave me the fuck alone, that'd be great.

You’d find that if you had any other set up of kids there would still be questions, just different ones.
not to mention if you drive an unusual car you get the same questions daily or as a woman gardener the same old comments every single day.

it’s how humans try to connects with strangers.

Yanbu to want people to mind their own business and to leave you alone.

And you don’t have to be a “joy”, OP. People pleasing is so tedious and if you don’t want to be someone’s joy then don’t be one!

Were you this tightly wound before having children?

This. You don't owe anyone anything, OP.

There's so much ridiculous pressure (mainly on women) to be polite and sociable and yes, 'a joy'.

I think if you were a man you wouldn't even be worrying about it, you'd just be telling people you're busy and getting on with your life.

You don't have to engage with mindless chatter if you don't want to.

I had another set up of kids before and nothing came close to this madness. I don't think that people without twins can understand.

Thabks, I feel so use by people for their entertainment, like I am worth nothing but a few answers to their questions.. I don't want to entertain anyone but my kids and myself.

Yeah, I am not a joy to be atound at best of time 😁.

I am a pesky pesky selfish woman..

Yes. I suffer from PTSD. Being accosted before was an absolute pain (it was mostly buly men though and not that often). I must say, it is a lot less stressful for me now it is not men but mostly women, about my kids but I hate it just the same.

I am not a peeople person. I am friendly with people I know but absolueltely hate to have to chat witb stranger. Especially the same chat, literally 20 to 50 times a day. I am ann introvert loner and I am unapologetic about it.

Are they natural?! Shocking that anyone thinks that"s an acceptable thing to ask.

YANBU to be announced by it, but it's not going to stop so coming up with some witty responses might help you be less annoyed by it.

I'm afraid I do often comment on twins, only to say congratulations and tell people they're beautiful. Should I stop? I have friends with twins and they say they don't mind that.

I hear ya OP. In a similar scenario I used to pretend that Dd was my first ( she was my 4th) because I couldn't be arsed with the gasps of "wow, how old are your others? Are they boys or girls? Have they got red hair too? "
So I reverted to
"Is that your first baby ? "Yes."

I was in Sainsbury's once when I heard for the 20th time that day "Oooh, are they twins?"

I didn't even look up, just pointed at one of them at random and said "Nope, this one came free with the buggy" and carried on walking.

It was incredibly rude, but I was sleeping less than 3 hours at a time, sore, exhausted, and felt no desire to continue to answer stupid questions.

Do whatever gets you through the day!

Same, I don't want to be rude, but I am left with 2 choice, be rude or suffer through another conversation with people who don't mind being rude.

Are they natural?! Oh please, let us come up with some smart answers to that. Wide-eyed “Are you asking if I had SEX?! With my HUSBAND?!!” would be my starting point but others on here much wittier than me. Honestly.

I’m sorry you’re so tired and feel like you’re being used for people’s entertainment though. Most people are probably just curious/making conversation but it doesn’t make it any less irritating!

It seems like you do the same as you would do if it was one child? Fuss a bit, say they're cute, congratulate, smile. I can deal with that.

What I can't deal with is :

Walking in a shop. A woman grabs my arm

Her : Are they twins?

Me : (good morning to you too...). Yes.

Her : did you have them naturally or IVF?

Me :(why is it any of your business). Naturally

Her : are they real or not?

Me : you mean identical? No, they're not.

Her: uh.

She then turns around and leaves without a word. I have the variation of that discussion many times a day. Along with "look, twins" points at them . I also had "you are over 40, aren't you, older women have twins more often". I am still in my 30's but I just look geritric at this point.

So no, not everyone is that rude, but I dread the "are they twins" questions

I got 'are they identical?' Mine are very clearly girl and boy twins and don't even look alike. If I had not birthed them, I would doubt it myself.

I feel you pain but once they start school and get less cute, the attention will pass.

I think you could develop some deflection strategies to move the conversation onto a different topic, or even just

Are they twins?
Yes
Whatever they ask next
But do excuse me, in a bit of a rush

Or develop selective hearing and ignore if you're in a situation where you plausibly could not have heard.

My friend adopted her second child and she had some brilliant deflections for nosey parkers she didn't know very well. She'd often get "Oh, I don't remember you being pregnant?", to which she just did a tinkly laugh and said "No? Times flies doesn't it?" Then move on, despite them clearly itching to ask her more!

How much does this happen, really?

people show an interest in babies and young children perhaps even every time you go out but how much of your day are you spending on this? Maybe when you think if it that way not that much

Surely there’s some quick generic answer you could give that might reduce your rage about this and also reduce potentially upsetting someone who probably means well and could be lonely? ( are they natural is possibly an exception)

How about, ‘Yes, you’d be amazed how often I’m asked and yes it’s exhausting. Must dash.’ Could be said quite pleasantly. Maybe I’m a people pleaser but I think upsetting people who mean no harm isn’t very kind and in this situation it’s avoidable.

( don’t have twins but know plenty of people who do)

A lot. I am not exaggerating. I have done one child or different ages and it is nothing like it. It is constantly.

People don't realise. What's a 2 minutes talk, really. I am bitchy to not oblige. But 20 or 30 2 minutes (or a bit more if people start to tell me about the twins in their families) conversation is an hour a day. Sometimes, I just want to contemplate the potatoes in the shop without being interrupted.

As a fellow twin parent I can confirm it happens a lot.

OP I feel your pain. Don't bother with witty responses just smile and get on with whatever you are doing. Whatever other posters say questions like 'are they natural' are incredibly rude and you are totally justified in ignoring them.

Mine are now adults. I get 'are they really twins?' now. See above for response.