To just ignore people

[SurpriseItsMeHorseyNeighNeigh]

I have twins and I am so fed up with people asking me the. Same. Fucking. Questions. 100 times a day. "Are they twins?", "Are they natural?", "is it a lot of work?" Blablabla.

I tried to be patient, maybe it's elderly people who like a little chat, maybe it's a way for other parents who just want to start a conversion..

But it's getting unbearable. It never stops. In the street, the park, the bus, the playgroup l, the shop. And most people just ask their questions then turn their backs and leave. They just want to say they saw twins. How fucking weird. Some just stop me while I walk, grab my arm and you can see how nosey they are.

I am losing my patience. WIBU to just ignore them and pretend I don't see them. I don't have it in me to be polite anymore at this point. I just want to enjoy my time with my kids withoit entertaining nosey fuckers slightly curious people and have the same conversation 30 times.

I think I'd be annoyed if people asked me if they were 'natural'. What nosey bastards. None of a stranger's business if people have fertility treatment.

I can appreciate that you are stressed and exhausted, twins must be terrible at times, and strangers just see 'two lovely babies.'

I'd just perfect a tight smile and a nod.

You could make it more entertaining by making up answers.

”Are they twins?” No (if they query it, just stick with a flat no).

”Are they natural?” No, they were grown in a secret government laboratory. Please keep that to yourself though, because,
you know, the Russians - then tap the side of your nose.

”Is it hard work?” No more than any other two kids. I mean, the fact they’re telepathic causes some issues but we’re used to it by now.

Twin mum here yep happens a lot.

I don't mind the questions but I got the rage at the head swivelling and staring when we walked in a place honestly some people almost craned their necks like that girl in the exorcist.

I took to saying very loudly "everybody stare at the twins " whenever I entered a place which was childish I know.

You seem to be confusing 'unbearable' with 'mildly tiresome'

No, I can't bear ir. I avoid getting out as much as I want because I fucking can't with the questions I know will come.

I know better than you how I feel. It's really impacting on my quality of life.

Get yourself a T-shirt printed

"Yes they are twins

How I got them is not your business

Yes it's hard work

I'm tired

Leave me alone"

Then just flash your coat open and stare at them until they go away 😉

My twins are teenagers now but I remember this well and it happened a lot.
To start with the attention was nice but very soon became annoying, I would get stopped multiple times just going round the supermarket trying to get everything I needed and then home again before one of them woke up screaming.

I perfected walking quickly and purposely without making eye contact with anyone which did help a bit, I would just see peoples head turn out of the corner of my eye.

Once they started school it did really die down and now nobody would know they are twins unless we or they decide to tell them which isn't often.

They are now more like siblings who just happen to be born on the same day

I used to get this a lot with my twins when they were babies op and it’s exhausting. I got sick of all the questions too. Eventually I’d just said “no” when anyone asked if they were twins and I wasn’t in the mood to engage.

Twins are either fraternal or identical. You could educate people by saying they are fraternal that will stop them from asking if they’re real which sounds rude as fuck. The buy one get one free is a good one.

This sounds unbelievable! No wonder you’re annoyed; I think any interaction which starts with ‘are they twins’ is rude. It’s coming from a starting point that they are demanding information from you, not making small talk. Utterly different from a stranger looking and saying eg ‘oh how adorable, are they twins?’

Personally I would reply ‘no’ every single time, without eye contact or further engagement. When your babies are older, it will also send the right message to them; their sequence of birth is a lovely thing for them, not a spectacle for others. If you feel awkward about lying, shut them down on question 2, whatever it might be, the examples you’ve given are all really rude and you are well within your rights to answer ‘none of your business/I can’t believe you just asked that/do I know you/did you have children naturally’ etc etc.

For the lady who grabbed your arm; she deserved nothing less than your derision for this fact alone, let alone the following interrogation.

Hope things get better for you.

This drove me mad for a bit. I got ‘double trouble!’ And ‘you’ve got your hands full there!’. I used to grit my teeth to smile back but then I realised that they were just saying ‘I acknowledge you have twins’ and I just needed to acknowledge their acknowledgment. So I just smiled and said ‘that’s right!’ Or ‘don’t I know it’ and carried on my merry way.

realising that really helped me to understand that people weren’t saying that they didn’t think I was going to be able to cope or whatever, they just wanted me to know that they saw me and the twins…

Bloody hell! That's outrageously rude! I think in the situation you described it is acceptable to tell them to fuck off!

You're right, I would also coo over a single child. Children are beautiful.

You are definitely not unreasonable to ignore these people, I think that's more polite than a lot of them deserve. I just can't get over people asking if they're natural. How could anyone think that was an okay question?!

Sudden thought, have you ever just tried saying no to the original are they twins question? You're not obliged to tell the truth to rude strangers.

Hi 👋 twin mum here. How old are your babies? It gets easier I promise.

Mine are nearly 4 now. Boy/girl, one blonde straight hair, one curly brown hair.

Are they identical? 🤣🤣🤣

Pressed send too soon:

First time out with my preemie girl in a sling....is it a doll?

Also, the old IVF question.

I hope you are ok. I think people genuinely don't think and consider your feelings or how tired you are x2. They also think it's the first effin time you've heard it.

Now when I tell people they are twins they tell me they are not! Er, they are my kids think I'd know 🤣

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable OP and I don't understand why you have to feel the need to be "a joy" to randomers tipping up and asking you personal questions.

I was going to point out that once you become a mother all manner of tedious people think they have carte blanche to start telling you what to do and asking you intrusive questions but I dare say with twins its a million times worse.

I would just shut the nosy sods out.

Oh dear.
I feel bad now.
I saw a woman in a shop last week pushing a double front facing buggy with, I assumed, twins.
They were both wide awake, eyes everywhere and looking adorable.
I didn't ask, I didn't stop Mum going about her business but I couldn't stop myself saying to her "what absolutely beautiful babies you have there. They are just gorgeous".

In my defence, I'm an old woman and don't have much contact with little folk.
All babies are lovely but there is something quite irresistible about a matching pair.

I wouldn't mind that. It's the same as having one, people like to fuss about babies, there is no ill intent.

As long as you didn't ask how they came out of her, I am sure she was fine 😉

Hee hee! I have twins, they aren't babies anymore but I remember getting to the point you're at!
People asked me all of the questions above and also:
"Have you got twins in your family ?"(yes, they're right here in front of you...)
Or they'd say "haha double trouble" as if it's the most original thing in the world and hadn't been said to me 10 times that day already. Or some other variation like " you've got your hands full"

Most of the time it was fine but after a couple of years of little sleep and dealing with the demands of 2 toddlers, mostly alone, it got old pretty quickly, as did I. Ha!

Sympathies OP. What happens when their dad takes them out alone, does he get the same level of intrusion?

My twins are in their 40s now, so when they were babies twins were even less common than now. I did get a lot of comments and people often told me how they'd 'always wanted twins', usually after I'd had a particularly sleepless night! However, I didn't resent it - I felt their interest was genuine and that if my babies gave them some joy in their day then I was glad of that.
I often approach parents of twins myself, if only to reassure them that it does get easier!