Im an adult and my mum slapped me.

[Sosleeepy]

Twice in a year this has happened now. She has anger issues and blows things out of proportion and it results in her slapping me in the face. She’s had stuff going on and worries in her life but I don’t think it excuses this behaviour and taking things out on me. Then she tried to hug me straight after but she never says sorry or she will try to make herself the victim and won’t acknowledge what she’s done. The first time it happened she said the slap wasn’t even hard but I had a red mark and my cheek was stinging. I’ve had enough, just feeling sad as I have absolutely no support.

@Sosleeepy

Don't slap/hit her back - that would only be descending to her level and also give her ammunition to say you were the instigator of violence. Instead if she hits you, go into the bathroom or your bedroom and use your phone to take a photo of where she's slapped if there's still any impression/redness there. Email that photo to yourself and copy to your Cloud account, for safety in case you need it later. Ensure your phone/devices have strong passcodes/passwords to keep your content safe as proof, if you should need it.

Check Spareroom or talk to friends to see if you can house share. Don't tell her you are doing this.

If you have a friend you could stay with for a while that would be great. Also ask friends to help you pack and move when you are ready. Good luck. 🌹

Ignore everybody saying you should slap or push her back - all that will lead to is her weeping and wailing or maybe even calling the police accusing you of abusing her. It's what these scumbags do when they're taking advantage of you not being a violent, abusive bully.

Reporting her assaults to the police though, that's a good thing to do, as is seeking help or finding a shared flat.

It's shit when it happens, I know. But you cannot risk giving her the power to destroy you by retaliating physically, even if you would be able to do so.

I'm sorry your Mum is abusing you.
As it is Domestic Violence, you may be able to get some help from the council
At 20, this would likely be a supportive hostel( but nice environment)
I know this happens in my area, then you are housed eventually
Keep this in mind, so you know there is support out there as you probably feel on your own with this
Please confide in friends and family you trust
The shame is not yours

Have you talked about it since?
Have you ever hit her?

If OP is 20 the likelihood is her mother will be what 50 ish? I have a 17 year old and I'm not quite 40 yet.....I wouldn't think her mother is one of the 'older generation'.

Tell her the next time she strikes you or violates you physically that it will be reported to the police. With the fact that she is physically harming you, you could get assistance and I think you should seek it.

My Mum couldn't keep her hands to herself. The last time she went for me I was aged 18. She came at me and I pushed her hard across the room we were in. She tried again and I did it again but even harder, she literally fell against the wall in the opposite corner. I said "I am 18, a legal adult, you're not going to hit me again because now I will hit you back".

I was moving out within weeks though. I'd do the above and work very hard at finding somewhere else to live if I were you.

My advice is don't hit her back. Stay firmly on the higher ground.

I wouldn't necessarily announce that you are moving out. I'd just do it in these circumstances. She will know why. Yet deny it.

I'd find a local agency and explain you are experiencing parental DV / DA and need help. I pressume you are living at home because you don't have the means to move out.

Work and save as much as you can.