Hands behind your back?

[SilBil]

This could be outing as it's all over the local news.

DC attends a local state primary. We live in the south east. There are housing estates in the distance but they are other more local schools for them. DC's school is only small with 300 pupils in total. All the families are local-ish, with the exception of a handful. There are no real issues with the school or the pupils. Parents are very hands-on. We have loads of parents-school activities. There are loads of fundraising activities. Hot lunches are cooked on premises. It's great.

Last year, a new head joined. He's lovely. He has lunch with the children. You see him around. The children really love him. He is approachable, all good things!

I understand that post covid, an attendance issue arose at the school, with parents taking children out of school in term time. AFAIK no one has been fined or anything, although school did send letters about potential fines.

At the start of the term, a "contract" has been sent to all pupils and parents. It's all individually signed by the head. It's basically a 3-way agreement that we'll all abide to things like attendance, time keeping, best behaviour etc. I don't want DC to sign the contract as they do not have the mental capacity to fully comprehend it. Am I overthinking this?

Another issue has arisen. Head wants DCs to walk on the left in the corridor or on the paths so that they don't bump into each other. He has also asked that children always walk with their hands behind their back unless they are holding something in which case having your hands on your sides is acceptable. Has the world gone completely crazy? Parents are obviously finding this a bit too much. He's now invited parents to a meeting to discuss this and this plans going forward.

Please tell me that this is not normal and what can I do about it?

I would fall over if I had to walk with my hands behind my back (I am clumsy). Do they have to do this on the stairs as well?

No stairs throughout the school. But otherwise yes, meant to be everywhere.

It's not normal, right?

It’s normal in a lot of secondaries. Stops them jabbing or poking each other on corridors at lesson changeover.

Not sure why primary though,

I thought 'the contract' was pretty standard. They did it at my DDs school. The hands behind the back is a complete power trip and I'd say no way to that one!

I may have missed this (should be taking advantage of my new reading glasses, but keep forgetting to bring them with me)... Does your child have issues with comprehension or do you mean that your child is too young to understand the contract?

I do understand your concerns, even if your child is old enough to understand rules and has no learning issues. I'm someone who grew up with very few rules and little structure because just about everyone in my small town left school at 15 and those of us who were left had to learn by correspondence. But even so, I don't think it would pay to get worked up about this.

Don't get me wrong. The rules do sound annoying. I know I would have hated them as a kid. But in the grand scheme of things, they don't seem like a big deal.

You may be great at providing your kid with structure and good habits, but the reality is that many parents don't do that. If the head arrived last year and is making these rules now, then it's because he thinks they're necessary. Don't forget that you're in a very different situation. If you actually had to deal with the kids all day, you might understand why they need to learn how to behave.

The bottom line is that the head may not be doing things the way you'd do them, but if you were in his shoes, you might agree with him. And I don't think it does kids any harm at all (in fact, it's good for them) to learn that people have different ways of doing things. You don't want to raise a kid who thinks it's OK to create a fuss and get his parents to create problems whenever he doesn't like something. I'd relax, and I'm about as anti-rule as it's possible to get. Teach your kid to choose his battles. This is not one worth fighting.

We had a hands behind your back rule at my secondary school in the 70s. My brother still walks that way most of the time, he says it's tidier.

I took a red pen to DD's contracts in primary. Anything a child with SEN or cultural needs or just bloody stupid nonsense was changed. Most of disappeared the next year (I did show my work).

Children with dyspraxia, additional needs, balance issues would all struggle in primary with hands behind backs. I'm clumsy and believe me, it's genetic. It's not sensible.

My dad does in his 80s now. He's always falling over and hurting himself. I wish he wouldn't walk like that.

DC can read the contract but as any other primary school aged child, they don't really understand that it's binding etc.

But I get it, it's not a battle worth picking.

I remember this being a thing when I was in primary over twenty years ago but we only had to do it when we were walking to and from assembly. This was over twenty years ago. It seems a bit old fashioned now.

YANBU
This is going too far.

That’s weird! Kids need to know how to behave and they do discipline but they are not in the bloody army! I’m shocked.

My children's primary had them walk on the left, I can't see the issue with that, far easier for staff to get down the empty middle as children walked in single file down both sides of the corridor. I think unless you have actually been in a school corridor and seen the chaos that are children poking, pushing, twisting their bodies, deliberately banging their body into other pupils etc then you don't know that it is like herding cats. I describe any part of KS1 as frenetic, they never stop moving.

The hands behind their back is probably because of the above. I think if they say try then that would be good enough. School/parent/child agreements are normal in secondaries. It isn't like they are promising to hand over their first born. They are just saying that the know there are rules and they will try their best.

As for fining for attendance, again that is standard for anything over 4 1/2 days here so you hit 5 days, fine. They are probably trying to address the other side of attendance which is continuously missing odd days here and there. There has been a massive increase since Covid. I think there was a BBC news article about it.

My kids had contracts. I never signed them. The school doesn't stick to their side about bullying, theft or reading so I wouldn't tie myself to a non enforceable contract.

They are a silly game.

Walking on the left is normal, hands behind the back is unusual.

I also altered our school contract, because some of it was nonsense! It isn't really binding, it is just words, I'd talk that through with the kids and see if there is anything they disagree with.

It’s not binding. It’s a way to encourage children to consider the importance of behaving responsibly and encouraging them to reflect on their contribution to the school community.

Your child will not be sued if they break school rules.

Those were two of the rules in my school in the 80s. Don't see the issue. If you don't like the rules change schools.

Schools are so bloody joyless. Any chance they've branded it "walking the W H way?". It's why one of the best teachers has left and another couple are on their way out.

I knew I'd found the right school when I found out my childs class walks down the hall to lunch doing a night fever dance, singing "stay in a line, stay in a line ah ah ah ah...."

Hands behind back is potentially dangerous

Walking on the left with hands behind back is the rule at a school I recently taught at. It included adults as well as children (exceptions were made for carrying things, people with disabilities and things). It prevents the children running hands along displays, touching other pupils, bumping into each other etc.

To be honest, after a while it wasn't necessarily followed or enforced, but it did instill a sense of calm in the corridors. I don't see anything wrong with it personally, as long as it's for everyone, not just pupils, it's not enforced in a draconian way and it's understood there will be exceptions.

Ds’ 5th class teacher told them they had all signed behaviour contracts in junior infants and made dark threats about the potential far reaching consequences of breaching the terms.

DS who is autistic, deeply literal and has a profound sense of justice came home furious, ranting about informed consent, being tricked, and challenging the legality of a signature before he could write his name. He was determined to take up the matter with the minister for education in order to protect the rights of illiterate junior infants everywhere.

Of course there was no such contract, never had been, and his teacher was a silly cow in many other ways too.

It’s not a bad idea in secondary, and maybe the senior end of primary but it definitely misses the point if they’re too young.

I would agree that “hands behind back” is dangerous - how are you supposed to stop yourself if you start to fall?

You’re overthinking it.
the contract as others have said is to prompt them to think about their behaviour and to feel grown up taking responsibility for themselves. I can’t say that I’ve ever known the contract to deter poor behaviour!

walking on the left is standard, hands behind back is a new one but not that difficult for the averagely able child /adult. Primary schools just seem to be generally irritating anyway in my experience. I’ve never got the Mary poppins vibe from any of them.

The walking on left makes sense for traffic control but the hands behind back is bonkers. If it’s to stop hitting etc then the general behaviour requirements will cover that.
Some children have balance issues or dyspraxia or if they have arm in cast etc.

Our school issued contracts for attendance, good behaviour, uniform etc and a separate one for ‘PE expectations’. DD is 5 and reads like a 5 year old so I binned both. Utterly pointless exercise anyway, are they going to whip this contract out if a child forgets to bring their kit one day and punish them on that basis?! All for responsibility but with young children dressing them for school correctly and making sure they attend is MY responsibility, not my daughters.