Hands behind your back?

[SilBil]

This could be outing as it's all over the local news.

DC attends a local state primary. We live in the south east. There are housing estates in the distance but they are other more local schools for them. DC's school is only small with 300 pupils in total. All the families are local-ish, with the exception of a handful. There are no real issues with the school or the pupils. Parents are very hands-on. We have loads of parents-school activities. There are loads of fundraising activities. Hot lunches are cooked on premises. It's great.

Last year, a new head joined. He's lovely. He has lunch with the children. You see him around. The children really love him. He is approachable, all good things!

I understand that post covid, an attendance issue arose at the school, with parents taking children out of school in term time. AFAIK no one has been fined or anything, although school did send letters about potential fines.

At the start of the term, a "contract" has been sent to all pupils and parents. It's all individually signed by the head. It's basically a 3-way agreement that we'll all abide to things like attendance, time keeping, best behaviour etc. I don't want DC to sign the contract as they do not have the mental capacity to fully comprehend it. Am I overthinking this?

Another issue has arisen. Head wants DCs to walk on the left in the corridor or on the paths so that they don't bump into each other. He has also asked that children always walk with their hands behind their back unless they are holding something in which case having your hands on your sides is acceptable. Has the world gone completely crazy? Parents are obviously finding this a bit too much. He's now invited parents to a meeting to discuss this and this plans going forward.

Please tell me that this is not normal and what can I do about it?

I think the contract is a great idea. The children see that their carer/parent and school are agreeing on standards of behaviour. Of course it’s not an actual contract as in legally binding, as the children are children. It’s just a helpful thing for them to do.

We had the walking with hands behind your back thing at DD's primary school about five years ago, keen new young head making his mark 🙄 He even called it 'The Superwalk'

But it's not the 80s 😂

this is absolutely fabulous

Hands behind your back will be to stop the kids touching stuff or destroying it. Hand by your side is probably easier but I’d imagine less effective.

I hated things like being made to sign behaviour contracts as a kid. Endorsing the terms of something masquerading as a voluntarily-entered agreement, cringily play-acting at adult things like entering into contracts and signing my name in front of condescending adults pretending to take it super-seriously, all to give them extra psychological leverage over me, because breaking a rule wouldn't just be breaking a rule, it would be going back on a (forced) promise, too.

I didn't think of it in those exact words, obviously, but to my child mind it was unfair that, although I hadn't chosen that school, would face consequences for failing to sign the contract, and had no say in its contents, if I broke a rule I'd be treated as though I'd gone back on my word. I felt manipulated, angry at the idea that I could be made to sign a contract and then have the fact that I signed rubbed in my face. I'd have much rather been told "These are the rules, follow them or you will be punished" than made to act like I was choosing to make a commitment to following them.

It's manipulative, shitty behaviour (mildly, but still), and I doubt it "works" except maybe to make a few kids feel worried, guilty or resentful at some point in the first few weeks of the school year.

Yes, plus what if a child trips or stumbles and doesn't put their hands out quickly enough to break their fall? It's all very 'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello.

Why not strap their arms to their sides while we're at it ? Tape their mouths so they can't talk when they're not supposed to?

I never sign the 'contracts'. They are utterly meaningless and down right patronising to boot.

I'd assume he's having some kind of breakdown /midlife crisis.

Love this

Popular amongst the crowned heads of Europe, too.

You are being ridiculous over the contract. It’s not going to end up in court fgs, it’s more about reinforcing rules and standards to kids and impressing the importance of following them.
The hands behind their back thing seems strange and impractical and tbh extremely difficult to enforce, so I wouldn’t pay it too much mind.

I think all of it is fine except the hands behind the back. That seems unfounded and excessive.

Dh and I have never signed home-school contract, and never will. We do not need to sign anything to be conscientious parents. And especially not with some Jonny-come-lately who has just appeared in our children's lives after however many years. These things are one-sided contracts, with the parents having to agree to whatever vague terms the school decides.

Walking on the left: common sense, a perfectly reasonable requirement. We had a similar rule in my school, which made crowded spaces easier to navigate.

Walking with hands behind backs: I do not like this. Far too restrictive and potentially unsafe. Apply it as a sanction if there has been misbehaviour in the corridors.

That's interesting to me as my grandad who is late 80s often walks with his hands behind his back. I wonder if he had to at school. I will have to ask him 😊

I think it's nice that he's included the children in the signing of the contract tbh. I'd see that as a conversation to have at home and in school about how we can all play our part to get there on time and do our best to go in and be kind and respectful when there. I see nothing at all wrong with that and I think children should be consulted in those things because ultimately parents and teachers help facilitate the children to create a culture of welcome and respect. Which is what it sounds like he's working towards so I'd be OK with that.

The walking with hands behind the back for me is a health and safety issue and I wouldn't be happy with that. I'd want ds to have his hands ready if he fell and being my child that's very likely!

Walking on specific sides of the corridor again I'm OK with because I think it could make class changes much less anxiety inducing for new pupils/pupils with asd/ sensory issues/ptsd or who are being bullied etc. So again I'm fine with that.

They did this at a my girls old primary. It lasted about a term.
There's nothing wrong with a "keep your hands to yourself" rule but walking with hands behind backs is silly. Some children like to walk with their hands in their pockets, or arms folded in front of them. Does it matter? I mean in primary school how far are they going - classroom to assembly, classroom to lunch....I can't imagine any walking is longer than a few minutes.
One thing that did work with persistent "touchy" children (ones that would touch each display or bookcase or whatever - not necessarily their classmates) was to have to hold the hand of the teacher and walk at the front.

The contract is very normal. It is about all parties being involved and having ownership and understanding of expectations. It is a positive thing. It isn't some sort of legally binding document it is about engaging both children and parents in understanding everyone needs to be supportive and helpful and then everyone benefits.

Walking on the left - again, perfectly normal and hugely sensible, as I suspect you'd agree with you've ever been in school corridors at times large numbers of children are moving about.

I've never heard of hands behind the back so it sounds a bit odd to me, but hardly a hill to die on. Sounds like an odd thing to be expecting staff to monitor / manage but not something that would bother me as a parent.