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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby reigns

125 replies

Mammadibambini · 27/09/2023 23:33

I’m a single mum and my DD is very strong willed. She’s getting to grips with walking but she already is pulling her hand away and my reaction to this is to ask her her to hold my hand and if she refuses I carry her. (We don’t have a pram with us when out walking. Yes I know I could just wheel the pram around too but what a faff.) I don’t want to carry her. She’s picking up speed with her walking but is also still a bit unsteady especially if the surface isn’t perfectly flat.

would I be unreasonable to use reigns?
I’m a bit worried about restricting her movements but then also want to keep her safe. Any alternatives to using reigns?

OP posts:
FlippityFlippityFlop · 27/09/2023 23:36

I use reigns with my toddler when walking in the street. They get a bit of independence while still being safe.

murasaki · 27/09/2023 23:39

Reins. I wore them as a kid as I was a bolter. I remember them being pale blue leather. I think they are a good idea for toddlers who can move fast but with no sense of safety, but haven't seen anyone using them in a while. Bring them back!

EezyOozy · 27/09/2023 23:40

I got criticised for using reins but my DD would not hold my hand and used to run into the road. So reins it was and they worked well.

SerpentEndBench · 27/09/2023 23:40

The Backpack type with a single strap I found easier than the older style double rein.

Sonolanona · 27/09/2023 23:45

Reins = safety.
Some people will criticise you and say it's putting your child on a leash like a dog.
It's exactly that.. and for the same, perfectly good reasons. I don't want my lovely dog killed by a car if she sees something and darts out, and I don't want my strong willed bolter toddler (grandchild whom I look after) being hit by a car if he runs..and boy can he run!!!

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 27/09/2023 23:47

I use reins but definitely in the minority. I see a lot of mums with similar aged children in the pushchair, but I like to tire her out.

NuffSaidSam · 27/09/2023 23:51

I'd just take the buggy and reinforce hand holding, but nothing wrong with reins if that's your preference.

PandaExpress · 27/09/2023 23:52

I used reins for my DS as he was a runner! I bought them for my DD thinking she'd be the same, but she was an angel to walk with and never needed them. People who roll their eyes at them, have clearly never experienced a child who needs them, so know nothing! I only really got snotty looks using them in France. Here, I mostly got older people smiling and telling me about the reins they used for their child years ago. Go for it, they'll make life a lot more enjoyable for you both.

IHateLegDay · 27/09/2023 23:53

I've used reigns with both of my dd's without issue. Dd2 was a runner so she really needed them.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 27/09/2023 23:54

Reins are great. Or get the back pack style ones. Then dc can carry their own crap around Grin

MockneyReject · 27/09/2023 23:58

I don't understand the problem with reins. Toddlers in buggies are strapped in, aren't they?
The only difference is that the toddler on reins is getting some exercise, and a different view of their surroundings.

Original poster
Mammadibambini · 28/09/2023 00:12

Yeah this is what I was thinking. It’s actually worse in a pram as they can’t chose anything. At least they have some autonomy whilst on reigns. I like the backpack idea plus I bet she thinks it’s cute.

OP posts:
fedupandstuck · 28/09/2023 00:22

Reins.

If you think they will be helpful then use them, and don't worry about what anyone else would think.

Nanny0gg · 28/09/2023 00:23

Reins also mean you're not pulling their arms out of their sockets as they reach to hold your hand.

They are an absolute godsend

Mamai90 · 28/09/2023 01:27

We have the back pack ones as defiant DD does not want to hold hands but she loves getting out of the pram for a walk. I see lots of parents with them.

QuestionableMouse · 28/09/2023 01:30

It's reins. Reigns is what a queen does.

Use them - I read an awful story on here about a toddler getting killed by a car when he bolted away from his mum. It's also better for their arms because they're not held up for ages.

nearlywinteragain · 28/09/2023 01:33

I used reins that came out of small animal backpacks.
They looked cute.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/09/2023 01:33

Anyone who is stupid enough to criticise a parent who uses reins to keep their very young child safe should be wholly ignored.

You are being a sensible, conscientious mum.

NumberTheory · 28/09/2023 01:33

I found reins were brilliant when my kids were at that stage. And they loved them too.

AngeloMysterioso · 28/09/2023 01:36

I’d rather see a toddler in reins than under the wheels of a bus.

BettyBooper · 28/09/2023 01:36

Mine wasn't even a runner and I used reins. Much easier to catch hold of her when she tripped and she had so much more autonomy than having to hold my hand. I really don't understand why people are against them.

nearlywinteragain · 28/09/2023 01:38

I got lots of compliments from older women for my reins.

Shelby2010 · 28/09/2023 01:40

I found the double reins best as you could also use them to prevent an unsteady toddler from falling over.

A long-handled trike also worked well when they don’t want to be in a pushchair but can’t walk that far or fast.

BettyBooper · 28/09/2023 01:44

Oh and re your original post, I never felt like I was restricting her movements, as I just went with her (not into the road obvs😆). Holding hands is more restrictive in my experience as they are more directly held. Also it bloody hurts your back after a while...!

chappoi · 28/09/2023 01:48

BettyBooper · 28/09/2023 01:36

Mine wasn't even a runner and I used reins. Much easier to catch hold of her when she tripped and she had so much more autonomy than having to hold my hand. I really don't understand why people are against them.

People will slate you for anything. Reigns don't work for everyone but if they do, they are keeping your child safe so worth trying. Why anyone would knock that is pathetic, keeping the child safe is priority, and a bolting 3 year old can move very fast and probably doesn't know adult Dangers, as they are little kids. Adults have to keep them safe and if they can run faster than us then it's whatever safety they need