Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much money for child’s 18th gift?

74 replies

Cat40plus · 27/09/2023 19:48

Help a newbie please. Having a debate around how much to gift eldest on upcoming 18th birthday (alongside some bits to open). Not saving for a car, computer etc so suspect may go on clothes and ‘stuff’. DH thinks this shouldn’t change how much we gift but I’m not sure. I feel £200 is about right but he feels it should be more - to be fair we can afford to go higher but it feels a lot to me. I know it’s very personal but would appreciate any thoughts!

OP posts:
Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 27/09/2023 20:37

Should have been joint birthday and Christmas present.

ErinAoife · 27/09/2023 20:37

Give mine £ 500 towards her driving license as her 18th birthday. She was delighted as it covered the cost of the lessons and six months insurance.

cptartapp · 27/09/2023 20:37

Ours both got a MacBook and use them daily.

CassieRole · 27/09/2023 20:38

Not a penny under £3,000

ActuallyYes · 27/09/2023 21:15

Problem with asking on Middle Class Mumsnet is the show offs tend to, well, show off. So you'll get ridiculous amounts plus gifts quoted.

HashBrownandBeans · 27/09/2023 21:18

Ours all get £200 for 18th birthday, it’s usually £100 plus a takeaway or a treat for other birthdays.

HoraceTheLlama · 27/09/2023 21:20

I got a car, as I had very recently passed my test. It was a £400 Vauxhall nova before anyone says that it was very extravagant! For my 21st I got £5k which they have been saving towards for most of my life, I didn’t go to uni so they didn’t have to support with any costs there.

Motheranddaughter · 27/09/2023 21:22

ours all got Macbooks
I don’t like gifting them cash

43ontherocksporfavor · 27/09/2023 21:25

£200 was what we gave ours each.

Original poster
Cat40plus · 27/09/2023 21:28

I get that, very fair point.

OP posts:
NotAMug · 27/09/2023 21:31

I got a £1000 car about 25 years ago. I don't think I'll specifically give mine that much though. They both have stuff when they need it, we've never really waited for birthdays and Xmas, they are happy with pants, socks, deodorant etc really. On 17th they have driving lessons which is £000s anyway. I guess it'll depend on what they want/need/we can afford

Wazzzzzuuuuuuup · 27/09/2023 21:38

My dd had a piece of jewellery £100ish, plus concert tickets she'd asked for and a few bits to open. We went for a nice family meal and then she had her friends over for drinks in the garden. I also gave her £200 to spend on a trip to NY.

I guess I also paid for the trip to NY, but that wasn't specially for her birthday

FlutteryButterfly · 27/09/2023 21:42

ErinAoife · 27/09/2023 20:37

Give mine £ 500 towards her driving license as her 18th birthday. She was delighted as it covered the cost of the lessons and six months insurance.

I'm assuming this was quite some time ago? As that would only cover 6 lessons where we are, 2 hour lessons to be fair but no one offers hour slots round here. Insurance we are looking at £2k plus for an insurance group 1 car.

Mummyneedsacoffee · 27/09/2023 21:45

We are doing £500 cash then a couple of keepsake gifts 🙂

Kendodd · 27/09/2023 21:48

smallshinybutton · 27/09/2023 20:04

£500 to go in a 2 year savings account. £100 spending money

I think this is a good idea.

We just had an 18th, have another in 2025 and another in 2026.

For our oldest we got driving lessons for 17th and a car when she passed (we live rurally, they need a car). I would push driving lessons if I were you and pay for them, even if she doesn't really want them, it's an important skill.

For our recent 18th we got her a few bit to open, probably £120 worth of stuff plus a spa day for me and her. We always have a little family 'party' for birthdays with cake. It's just us, no extended family or anything. At that we gave her a folder containing bits of paperwork. Her birth certificate, her child trust fund from the gov, a pension plan we set up when she was born, her NI number letter. It also had £1,000 and £200 worth of premium bonds her grandad had left her when he died. So WE didn't actually give her a lot (we had just bought her a car and insured it six months ago though). Anyway, could you rustle up a 'folder of responsibilities' like we did with any savings accounts or stuff like that you might have for her? Could you put her child trust fund in it?

gogomoto · 27/09/2023 21:53

Mine got a laptop, ready for university

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 27/09/2023 21:56

DS got a MacBook and DD got an iPhone that cost almost as much as the MacBook 🙄. Both had family meals out with siblings, grandparents, and a few friends that we paid for them us old folks went home and we left £100 behind the bar for the youngsters.

merrymelodies · 27/09/2023 22:02

Money in savings account. DC will thank you in a few years!

saymynamesaymy · 27/09/2023 22:05

Bloody hell some kids get loads ! I think my mum paid for me to get my hair done and a night out, I was buzzin with that

Kendodd · 27/09/2023 22:07

Also, regardless of what other people give, or even her friends get, you should only give what you can afford. One thing to model for her is financial responsibility and her not seeing you get in debt to buy her stuff you can't afford.

Coming back to driving, as much as I think it's really important, if she isn't keen and needs persuading, only buy lessons if you can afford to pay for the whole learning journey. If you can only pay for a few lessons, if she's not keen, she might not be willing to carry on if she has to pay for them herself.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 27/09/2023 22:08

DD will get her trust fund which was £250 invested but valued at around £900. It's the only year I won't be contributing to her birthday gift as it was a gift from the government.

Original poster
Cat40plus · 27/09/2023 22:09

Thanks, this is a really interesting idea.

OP posts:
Kendodd · 27/09/2023 22:11

saymynamesaymy · 27/09/2023 22:05

Bloody hell some kids get loads ! I think my mum paid for me to get my hair done and a night out, I was buzzin with that

I got zero from my parents when I was 18. I'd left home long ago though and was no contact with them by then.

Peaceandquietfinally · 27/09/2023 22:13

My children i their 20s and genuinely cannot remember 😳Just asked 23 year old what he got …watch approx £150 ,Tickets to lion king with his girlfriend and Arsenal Tickets so probably about £350 . It’s all relative to what people earn and can afford.

TomatoSandwiches · 27/09/2023 22:16

Did your DD not get the government trust fund? We've been saving it for our eldest to fund a car and insurance which it will cover.
If he wasn't into driving then we would expect him to save half in an account he chooses and we'll look the other way for the rest 😬😂
I suspect a holiday or travelling, he isn't a spendthrift fortunately.

I think for your DD I would probably say ask your DH what figure he wants to give and then meet in the middle from your preference, that seems fair.

Swipe left for the next trending thread