Not to fund teenagers fussy diet.

[confusedalso]

My ds has been following some ex bodybuilder online and now wants to eat cuts of meat, 4 boiled eggs etc in his packed lunch.
He wants only fresh organic fruit and vegetables and has cut out all forms of sugar, gluten, dairy and any junk food or processed food.
He used to take sandwiches which are much cheaper and eat evening meals that the family eats but now he's reading all labels and refusing anything with a sauce or an ingredient he isn't eating at the moment.
AIBU to say I don't want to fund him eating like a king? he's eating so much meat that would have fed the whole family and I've never bought organic options before so the food bill has risen enormously at a time when the cost of living is high enough.
I understand him wanting a healthy lifestyle and that's good but I don't consider the meals I usually cook to be unhealthy but his diet is so restrictive.
He says he feels so much better on this diet but he doesn't have any food allergies it's purely a choice after following this ex bodybuilder on Facebook that advises people what to eat and what not to.
I feel as though his new lifestyle is somehow my problem because I have to change the way I've always shopped/cooked.

How old is DS? Is he a teenager capable of weekend work?

My reaction would be simple - meet in the middle to create a healthy balanced meal plan, but any ingredients over and above what you would normally purchase (organic only, extra meat etc....) are to be funded himself.

Give him a set budget each week to buy his own food with. He will soon realise what he wants isn’t sustainable

That sounds sensible.

Or at least sit him down and go through it with him.

This. It’s great that he’s trying to be healthy and cut out junk and processed foods but it often just isn’t possible to eat like that for every meal unless you’re rich.
Give him a budget and anything beyond that he can fund himself, either by getting a weekend/after school job if he’s old enough, or by doing extra jobs around the house for additional pocket money.

Agree with pp.
Get him to meal plan, cook and buy his own food out of a set budget. So say the food shop is £100pw for your family of 4, he can spend £25pw but needs to come up with a list using supermarket prices. If he inevitably needs to buy food from other places, get him to do the leg work of finding and sourcing suppliers.

If he's old enough to be earning then get him to contribute to his special diet. Using the £25pw example above, if he wants £40 of food pw then he owes you £15.

btw my weekly shop isn't £100- it's a nice round number.

Too much protein is very unhealthy.

I do like the idea of giving him a budget.

Why’s he suddenly interested in this? I had a friend as a teenager who started being fixated on a “healthy diet” - she was being bullied and ended up with a full blown eating disorder. I’d want to understand why he wants to do this and what he’s trying to achieve.

I’d allow him some influence on the family menu (of the “switch white pasta for brown” type, not “switch chicken thighs for free range organic steak” type), but nothing that costs me extra time or money - if he wants to eat like that I’d expect him to get a job and pay for it.

Why have you even started enabling this?
Cutting out processed foods and sugar- all good.
More veg and fruit - all good.
Cutting out whole food groups without a nutritionist support - not so good
paying twice the price for his fancy organic food - not acceptable on a family budget.
You/he can’t afford it, he needs to adapt it to what can be afforded.

Ask him to start looking at other sources of protein - greek yoghurt from Aldi, tofu, chickpeas, spinach etc. All cheaper than steak and eggs.

Initially this started when he first became interested in joining the Navy so he started to get fit for that and the fitness test you need to pass to get in.
I don't know how he came to be following this ex bodybuilder but he seems to be hanging on his every word or suggestion that all food that isn't whole and natural is some sort of poison.

Being a weight lifter and eating that type of diet takes twenty years off a male life span. It is a version of orthorexia.

Less UPFs and sugar is great.
A bit more protein is fine but he should be exploring a wide range of pulses and grains as well as his meat and eggs.
Where does he think his body stores this excess protein?

Budget is a good stalling device.

This sounds good. Will get him cooking too

I agree with the pp that it's worth checking there isn't any underlying issue with low self esteem, bullying etc

I would also be concerned that the person he's following seems to be giving advice based on fads rather than science (ie excluding food groups because they're branded "bad", advocating organic when there is no conclusive proof it makes any difference to nutritional value, etc.) Maybe a session with a registered dietitian with an interest in strength training would be helpful.

If he is serious about having a healthier diet, all the previous advice on getting him to budget is great. Try and direct him to cheaper protein sources like tinned tuna, pulses, frozen fish fillets, chickpea pasta (Aldi sell it) etc. If you can convince him to start eating some dairy, Aldi and Lidl both sell good value plain Greek yoghurt.

How old is your son?
You say you're making him packed lunches, if he's school age I would think a very restrictive diet, very high in protein, may be quite damaging as his body is still growing.
If he is working, he needs to contribute towards his expensive tastes.

Not an immediate answer but do you have a garden? Hand him a fork and some packets of seed and get him to grow his own organic vegetables... I like to eat organic/ healthy but its just not affordable

How old is your son?

He is 16 so yes still at school.

I really like the suggestion for giving him a budget and letting him buy his own food to realise the actual cost of things.

If he’s not old enough to work maybe he could do some jobs around the house, such as washing the cars to earn himself a fiver. Then he would learn that an hours worth of work would barely afford him a steak, hopefully then he would appreciate the work you do to afford the regular food shop, let alone his new diet

I follow this ex bodybuilder on instagram. He has good advice and yes we should avoid UPF but can be done cheaply. He is not saying everything has to be organic - it's very much what you can afford - he just advocates cooking from scratch. He talks about the "ideal" but it also has to fit in with your budget. If you can get past all his swearing, and understand that all change to a cleaner living lifestyle is good then he actually speaks sense. But yes I agree I would give your son a budget and let him understand how much it costs and how it can be done within a budget

I would also encourage him to read around and get opinions from other people, not just one "expert".

For example the Zoe nutrition and science podcast has one dedicated to how much protein we need (less than we think) and also whether it needs to be eaten immediately after working out (no). Also about whether organic food is actually worth it. That one gives cheaper work arounds (frozen organic veg is a good alternative and cheaper as well as tinned) and says the food which doesn't absorb so much pesticide (to check but I think softer fruits and veg absorb more pesticides so the benefit of buying organic is greater).

At 16 he could work in McDonald's. Ironic I know, but they paid my nephew well at 16, above min wage and he was well treated and looked after by his manager. Your son can then buy all the expensive food he wants.

Yes to a budget.

Also bodybuilding at such a young age can be dangerous and have lasting negative effects so you might want to do some research on that.

I have looked at some of the content and this particular ex bb does extreme fasting which I have made clear at his age he won't be doing.
From what I understand he used some sort of steroids and fasts to heal his body but claims it's not for weight loss purposes.
Ds is a healthy weight and fit and active I do also think he's sensible and won't take it to the extreme.

Too much meat is not healthy. Tell him to learn to cook healthy veg protein dishes like chickpea and cauliflower curry etc. Lentil/vegan chilli that kind of thing. That is not expensive but very nutritious. Eggs are also only good for you in moderation. By all means high veg/protein diet is good, but it needs to be balanced properly and to avoid overspending requires understanding and lots of preparation.

I have similar going on with my 15 yo son. He just wants to eat chicken, rice and veg. He has cut back on asking to eat lots of red meat after I asked him to read up about bowel health.

He doesn't sound as extreme as your son, in that he will go out with his mates and then snack on whatever they snack on, and we do eat out.
I also asked him to read up about the risks of eating too much red meat.
He love the gym and plays football.
He also has protein shakes. He has been enjoying lots of berries during the summer and now I've had to explain that he'll need to find other fruit as berries out of season.

I didn't allow him creatine powder.

I have also read up about it.

I'm keeping an eye. I can afford it as it's just me and him at home.

What a turn around from the boy who would have gladly eaten nuggets and chips breakfast, dinner and lunch given half the chance!