Not to fund teenagers fussy diet.

[confusedalso]

My ds has been following some ex bodybuilder online and now wants to eat cuts of meat, 4 boiled eggs etc in his packed lunch.
He wants only fresh organic fruit and vegetables and has cut out all forms of sugar, gluten, dairy and any junk food or processed food.
He used to take sandwiches which are much cheaper and eat evening meals that the family eats but now he's reading all labels and refusing anything with a sauce or an ingredient he isn't eating at the moment.
AIBU to say I don't want to fund him eating like a king? he's eating so much meat that would have fed the whole family and I've never bought organic options before so the food bill has risen enormously at a time when the cost of living is high enough.
I understand him wanting a healthy lifestyle and that's good but I don't consider the meals I usually cook to be unhealthy but his diet is so restrictive.
He says he feels so much better on this diet but he doesn't have any food allergies it's purely a choice after following this ex bodybuilder on Facebook that advises people what to eat and what not to.
I feel as though his new lifestyle is somehow my problem because I have to change the way I've always shopped/cooked.

Give him the budget, I agree. And watch that he’s not getting mixed up in steroids 😬

But it sounds like he's already taking it to the extreme by demanding a disproportionate amount of the family food budget for large amounts of meat and organic produce.

If he's 16, he can get a part time job to pay towards it. Even a couple of shifts a week will go a long way towards this and show him that money is finite and won't always stretch to everything he may want.

Your son needs to educate himself properly - perhaps buy him a subscription to a health magazine, look at books, or encourage a broader variety of people to follow on instagram.

Higher protein is not necessarily a bad thing, especially for people who are working to build muscle mass. Cutting refined sugars and UPFs is not bad either. And reducing carbohydrates is, for most of us, probably healthy as we don't tend to lead the kind of active lives for which large amounts of carbs are necessary (although for an active teenager, I'd say carbs are MORE necessary than, for example, 47 year old me sitting at a desk all day). But he needs to learn how to get those from a wider variety of sources because a) there are lots of other nutrients and things he needs that he won't get from just meat and b) there are cost factors at play.

eg, I am planning to make this bread sometime this week as a way to offer DS a high protein, more nutritious bread option as he also worries about just plain carbs in regular bread. And yes, we do quite a bit of things like chicken or mince which are easier, cheaper ways to up protein without the cost of things like steak.

Cooking organic is all very well and good - and if I had the money we'd do it too - but cooking from scratch, and lots of fresh fruit and vegetables is a great first step when money doesn't stretch to that. He needs to understand that.

I agree with the budget idea, especially after a good chat about the whole-family budget and a visual demo of what his preferred foods actually cost.

Soaked mung bean seeds have the same amount of protein as chicken breast but also pack in complex carbs and a lot of Omega 3. They're cheap and easy, as well as more appropriate nutrition for a growing lad. But they're not as tasty as bio-diamond-goldplated steak!

Edited for a typo

As well as the budgeting idea, I wonder if he could be encouraged to find content more closely linked to his career goals? There must be military fitness influencer types (former if not currently serving) who could give more sensible, balanced advice.

Does the rest of the family eat healthily? Weight problems etc?

You could meet somewhere in the middle. Reduce carbs a bit, go for wholegrain a little bit more.

There are plenty of vegan/veggie athletes and sportspeople about, you don't need all that animal protein to be strong. And organic food is good for the planet but not sure if it has a benefit for the consumer really.

I'd also be talking to him about how social media can often distort reality, not everything you see on there is true!

I read the main parts of this out to my partner, and he mentioned to suggest your son look for a youtuber called Simon Miller (SimonMiller316). He's a British Indie wrestler and body builder who is rather level headed and debunks quite a bit of what some American bodybuilders are currently saying.

He's a very positive influence (has almost influenced my partner to try and get to the gym, in addition to walking).

I also agree with PPs suggestion of getting a budget in place for him.

I would be very concerned if my 16 year old son was eating like this. At his age he needs carbs, and all the meat could lead to bowel cancer when he is older. He could also end up with side effects from a low carb diet such as leg cramps, constipation and bad breath. When I was 17 I started eating two boiled eggs for breakfast every day and after a few weeks I started getting stomach pains, writhing around on my bed. I had developed an intolerance to eggs, I don’t know if it was eating them every day but I have always believed so. I’m still unable to eat them. I would take him to the GP and explain what he’s eating so he can get medical advice that it’s not a healthy diet.

I eat quite healthy, I have IBS so eat salads mainly but I cook the family things like cottage pie or casserole, chicken in a sauce with rice or a roast or pasta dishes etc but he won't eat these now because of the gravy or sauce having sugar or something in the ingredients.
He's 6ft something and very slim, goes to the gym and keeps active.
It's just so much more expensive to feed him now and to know what to cook as the rest of the family still want spaghetti bolognaise or lasagne so he's having something else.

I think anything that transfers some of the responsibility to him for making this work is a good idea. That could look like giving him a budget, suggesting he gets a job to fund the costs himself, learning about cheaper protein sources.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even be entertaining this. He’d be told he can do what he wants in his own home and he can buy what he wants when he’s earning but while he lives at home and not contributing to the household he will have to eat the family meals and contribute in other ways by doing chores. He’ll cost you a fortune if you pander to him.

Where possible serve the gravy/sauce separately so the whole family can still eat the same meal.
Sit down with him and show the difference in price between what you usually buy and what he wants, he needs to help fund the difference.
If you are preparing different meals he needs to be learning how to help with that too.

Can you also go down the environmental route when talking about balance. Too much meat is terrible for the environment.

All organic food is also very ethically questionable due to the fact you need far more plants and therefore far more land to get the same yield of food. If we all insisted on eating organic it wouldn’t be possible to grow enough food for everyone. I’m also not convinced there’s proven health benefits to this.

Which ex bodybuilder is it? I'll show you a better more successful bodybuilder who follows an "if it fits your macros" style of diet!

If it's Eddie Abbew which I think it will be! The guy is an idiot and just ignore him, the people who go into a supermarket and start picking things and saying how they are "shit" are the lowest of the low.

In your shoes I would use the family budget issue as my route into healthy eating. Assuming that generally, as a family, you eat healthily I would be explaining to him that his food requests are not unlike clothes requests: while he’s under your roof and still at school, he’ll be given a budget for reasonable clothes/food and if he wants anything extra or different he’s going to have to find a way himself. You can’t take from one child to give to the other.

I’d also be educating him on (1) the pitfalls of believing everything you see in the internet (2) healthy nutrition for a 16yo male body (3) the pitfalls of too much protein and red meat (4) learning to understand himself better. It’s great that he wants to lead a healthy life! But his recommended diet is NOT healthy for a growing 16 year old body that is still immature. Does he have enough calcium in his diet? Enough fibre? Iron? Does he understand how supplements work (if he’s using them)? Does he understand what he’s doing to his long-term bone strength by lifting weights at this (bone) age?

Budgeting is the way in to a much more serious issue which has long term repercussions.

If he still wants to go into the navy you should share with him a typical diet that they serve. I can guarantee it’s not meat meat meat and organic free range veggies at a £3/day/person budget 🙂

https://www.fruitnet.com/fresh-produce-journal/feeding-the-royal-navy/152101.article#:~:text=A%20cooked%20breakfast%20is%20provided,for%20from%20their%20own%20pocket.

I think it's a bit of a misconception to assume that organic products are necessarily twice the price of non organic. We've eaten mainly organic food for many years and everything is far more easily available now than it used to be. I'm very concerned about the effects of antibiotics used routinely on animals and would prefer to avoid additives and pesticides if possible. Most supermarkets sell a range of organic products, many of which aren't significantly more expensive than non organic. I buy most of our meat online and it's not much dearer than supermarket meat, apart from the really cheap chicken which most supermarkets sell. I have tried to keep our food bill down since prices have risen so much and would prefer to eat less organic meat than more non organic.

I think a middle ground can be reached with a 16 year old, especially if they are open to having a mature discussion about his reasons, and about how he can contribute towards his needs fitting in with the family (budget, cooking etc).

Your son's new way of eating is not anything new and has been used by many people to eliminate over processed foods and sugar from their diets. He will feel much better because he isn't eating things that will upset his gut biome which could leave him depleted of nutrients. Eggs are not expensive but ask him to look at cheaper cuts of meat for his meals. You can buy burgers that are just meat, salt and pepper, chicken thighs are a cheaper cut too. I would give him a budget and ask him to research what he can buy for that amount of money.
I would also suggest he looks at other people on Instagram who also have a similar way of eating so that he can see what others eat

What does he say when you explain that you don’t have the money to fund this expensive diet? Does he have a part time job?

You're right, it's him.

I could not agree more! Desperate fear mongering to increase engagement and create a following. As a PP suggested, try following a current or former military trainer or similar, or at least a qualified dietician!

I wouldn't be spending money on a terrible diet like that. Maybe tell him you're not changing the shopping budget or cooking two meals unless he can present evidence from reliable sources (academics and dieticians, not ex-bodybuilders or nutritionists) showing that his proposed diet is better than the family's usual diet.

Oh it sounds like your child has fallen in with the wrong crowd!

You'll have to take steps to correct the situation: Check your local Icelands' carpark to see if there are any kids hanging out during school time and then promptly invite them around your house to meet your offspring. You might need to earn their trust first by doing a few trips to the off licence for them.

In the long run it will be far cheaper to give him a couple of quid for a bottle of cider each day so he can meet his new friends in the park. Give him a lecture on lowering his expectations to zero, and how studies have proved that body building has links cannibalism and shrinking willies.