Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To object to this nickname?

84 replies

NotMyNsme · 24/09/2023 14:13

I’ve name changed as I’m using my real name (no other way to put it in context).

my name is Morag. I work in NHS setting, only one bloke in the team and he came up with the highly amusing (not) nickname of SnotRag. Wasn’t too bad when it was just him saying it but other staff members started calling me it too, I’ve said time and time again not to call me it but it falls on death ears. Icing on the cake yesterday when my own student referred to me as SnotRag. I took her aside and told her not to call me that (as well as giving her general advice on not following Dickhead’s examples) and she apologised but said she thought everyone called me that as I was even down on the November off duty list as SnotRag!!! I’d not seen it. Worst thing about it is it wasn’t even this bloke who wrote it, it was someone else.

The nickname is now morphing into variations such as Snotty, Snots and Rags.

I spoke to the charge nurse yesterday who told me it was just a nickname and she gets called Pipsqueak (her name is Pippa) and that basically I just have to get on with it.

So WIBU to take it to her?? It’s driving me mad.

OP posts:

SemperIdem · 24/09/2023 14:39

Yanbu in the slightest.

That is absolutely unacceptable.

GoodVibesHere · 24/09/2023 14:39

That's bloody terrible!!! I'd be hurt, humiliated, embarrassed. I'm so sorry you've been treated this way OP. I mean I wouldn't particularly like being given any nickname, but being called Pipsqueak is totally different from SnotRag ffs! It's outrageous!

ValerieGoldberg · 24/09/2023 15:09

That’s bullying OP and really unprofessional of your dickhead colleague. I wouldn’t go to HR though. HR would need to assign a manager to sort it. Do you have an OSM? Someone above the nurse in charge? I would find out their name and email rather than tell them verbally so you’ve a record. If they don’t help maybe then email HR and advise you have tried to address it by speaking to the nurse in charge and escalating it higher by email and no one has taken it seriously and then HR could support.

ValerieGoldberg · 24/09/2023 15:11

Also you sound really professional and I think you dealt with the student nurse brilliantly.

LemonQuiche · 24/09/2023 15:14

Jesus, how unprofessional can he be? Ultra disrespectful. Please please raise it with HR and don’t let them fob you off.

INeedAnotherName · 24/09/2023 15:18

It's workplace bullying. You have asked not to be called that and it's getting worse, there is nothing more you can do but escalate it. Go to HR.

Not heard that name in a while, it's lovely.

Curseofthenation · 24/09/2023 15:21

I would get so cross as the sheer disrespect these colleagues are showing. If management and HR are not willing to end this behaviour then I'd start giving them childish nicknames. What a horrible bunch.

Changedforthetoday · 24/09/2023 15:28

Agree with previous posters - report and complain. This is absolutely unacceptable and the student has learnt a very important lesson early in their career to not just “go along with things”.
i am gobsmacked that this sort of thing continues. I hope that the posts here telling you to report will give you the confidence to do it.
Over 20 years ago someone in my work used to deliberately call me a similar but variation of me name and used to correct them and they would smirk at me knowing they had riled me. I left but it still angers me now when I think about it.

heldinadream · 24/09/2023 15:47

Call him Dickhead? All. The. Time.
OK, probably not. But what a vile person he is.

Hooplahooping · 24/09/2023 15:48

Genuinely horrified by the responses of people and them joining in. Sounds like this horrible colleague has a nasty cult of personality around him - which is the opposite of appropriate in a hospital environment. Absolutely take it to HR. So sorry OP.

Morag a family favourite in the Scottish side of my family (We have three of them), no one has ever called anyone snot rag. Because we’re not the worst…

WhereYouLeftIt · 24/09/2023 16:22

You are being bullied. I'd be taking it to HR.

SD1978 · 24/09/2023 16:29

Is he responsible for giving offensive nicknames to all staff? It's a really shot culture that despite you disliking it, everyone else, including management have gone along with it. Has he given himself an equally offensive name? Little dick, little for short......the fact your manager has a disparaging nickname, and yet has let it go, and expects you to do the same is not on. You've repeatedly asked for it not to be used, you've escalated it to the manager, I'd be taking it further, absolutely. For anyone it's offensive as hell

Findyourneutralspace · 24/09/2023 16:33

Don’t feel bad for the student - she’s been set a bad example by your (dickhead) colleagues, corrected and apologised- a learning point handled professionally.

The rest of them need HR on their arses.

ThinWomansBrain · 24/09/2023 16:44

Don't feel guilty about the student - part of training is not job specific, but what is acceptable in the work place.
Report the twat that originated and persists in using the "nickname" - refer to it as bullying, likely to ensure the matter gets more serious attention.

I've never been given a nickname in a work environment - or worked in a workplace that used them, unless the person concerned repeatedly used the nickname themselves.
I've never even let people refer to me with a shortened version of my name (think Chris for Christine, nothing offensive) - although of course respect people's own preferred version of their given name.

MarilynBoo · 24/09/2023 16:44

I would go fucking medieval on his ass!! How fucking dare he - and shame on the rest of your colleagues for not sticking up for you.

24HoursFromTulseHillEstate · 24/09/2023 17:04

I would tackle him head on.

Look him in the eye and tell him he has led a bullying campaign, you are sick of it and he needs to tell everyone to stop, ‘joke over’ because if it doesn’t stop you will go to HR with a grievance / official complaint against him. He has one shift to make it stop. If it happens one more time after that’s: HR.

24HoursFromTulseHillEstate · 24/09/2023 17:05

Do you have anyone within the team who will speak up for you? And agree that it needs to stop, once you have told him it stops or HR?

OfficerChurlish · 24/09/2023 17:10

I’ve said time and time again not to call me it but it falls on death ears.

Even giving people you work with the maximum benefit of the doubt that they somehow think you want to be called something that most people would find offensive and demeaning - anyone calling you this after you've asked them not to do so is in the wrong.

I'm sorry that the ChargeNnurse doesn't feel able to speak up about "Pipsqueak" if it bothers her, but (1) she should be able to and (2) it's not a fair comparison, given the ignorant cultural/arguably racist element and the clear contempt that's being used in the case of your specific "nickname". What's next, he starts calling Katie "Cunty" and Heather "Hooker"? This is a workplace, not one man child's personal kindergarten playground. It's clearly inappropriate in context and potentially places your employer in disrepute. It's completely reasonable to go over the Charge Nurse's head if you need to.

Also of course you needed to tell your student that she'd been misled. It sounds like you handled this sensitively and she understands that you don't blame her. While it may have been uncomfortable for a moment, I bet she's glad you told her rather than letting her go on.

xyz111 · 24/09/2023 17:10

Do you work with a bunch of kids? How does this go on in the NHS for goodness sake. I'm would firmly say to the man to stop calling you it. If he doesn't, straight to HR.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 24/09/2023 17:16

WTF did I just read???

This is disgraceful and shocking. How the hell did this become the prevailing way to address you? How did this actually happen? I've heard of bullying in the NHS before, but this is so overt, it's just vile.

Your line manager has a duty of care to you and a mandate to encourage and enforce professional and respectful behaviour. You need to tell your line manager to put an immediate stop to this, or you will refer them to HR.

justwatchingtelly · 24/09/2023 21:29

Not at all ok.
I would take this to the highest level.

It's not an endearing nickname, and even if it was, you don't like it.

It's not hard to be respectful enough to follow people's wishes, is it?

OrangesLemonsLimes · 24/09/2023 21:39

You’ve tried to resolve this cordially, and failed through no fault of your own. Time for a formal approach to HR.

StripeyDeckchair · 24/09/2023 21:40

Make a formal complaint to the HR dept under the bullying & harassment policy.
(You are bound to have one even if you've never come across it to date)

This is not a nickname, you have repeatedly asked people not yo use but they have continued to and used it on published documents (the rota - use copies as evidence)

Do not let anyone talk you into downgrading this into fun or "banter" as I repeatedly say banter is another word for bullying.

UniversalTruth · 24/09/2023 21:52

I'm in the NHS - I wouldn't go to HR, but I would ask for a chat with a Speak Up Guardian. This behaviour doesn't shout respectful workplace or transparent culture.

VeronicaSawyer89 · 24/09/2023 21:58

What's this twat's name so we can help you come up with an equally appalling nickname for him? I'd bet a 100 quid he'll get absolutely furious if you do.

Flip

1 2 3 4