Age gap | Mumsnet

thecatinthetwat · 23/09/2023 23:39

I would tend to agree with you. It’s quite a big gap given the age/life stage.

i work with undergrads and postgrads, there’s a big difference in most cases.

Scutterbug · 23/09/2023 23:39

I don’t see an issue with it.

Original poster

Drivingmenutsman · 23/09/2023 23:41

Yes I think so too. She’s a very beautiful girl and he’s quite a catch I have to say. I lead a boring life and spent some time stalking her insta. I just wonder why he isn’t interested in a girl his own age.

OP posts:

Wolvesart · 23/09/2023 23:41

Drivingmenutsman · 23/09/2023 23:37

aibu to think this is ‘off’?

18 year old girl dating a 25 year old. She’s an undergrad, he’s a postgrad.

this is the sister of a friend btw. A friend I discussed this with thought I was being U but I don’t particularly.

Right now we see this as wrong societally speaking. However, it was shrug 🤷‍♀️ no problem until about 18 months ago

thecatinthetwat · 23/09/2023 23:42

Was it?

YerAWizardHarry · 23/09/2023 23:43

I met my sons dad when I was 18 and he was 26. At the time it felt very “normal” and I enjoyed the excitement of having an older boyfriend.. 12 years later I now find it odd and there was definitely a strange power dynamic

ClifftopView · 23/09/2023 23:45

Not a problem, depending on the couple. This was my sister (though they got married at those ages), both at uni at those same stages, and have been married happily for over 30 years.

CherryCokeFanatic · 23/09/2023 23:45

I think most would be alarmed given 18 and first steps as an independent adult but as soon as she has graduated and is 21 then dating a 28 year old is perfectly acceptable to most

Moveoverdarlin · 23/09/2023 23:47

I would have no issue with this. When I was 18 I only really showed an interest in men around 10 years older. Boys my own age were skint, spotty and liked playing on their PlayStation. I had a nice upbringing with no Daddy issues and the men I dated were all nice, normal men.

anomaly2 · 23/09/2023 23:51

Completely not an issue. As for women his own age, what is that? Exactly the sane age? 2 years difference? 4 years difference? What constitutes 'his age'? They are both students. He's not lived a vastly different life to her yet. Let them get on with it

Wolvesart · 23/09/2023 23:55

thecatinthetwat · 23/09/2023 23:42

Was it?

Yes

Original poster

Drivingmenutsman · 23/09/2023 23:55

I know what you mean, but she’s only just left home. They met in London during the spring (she turned 18 in august and I believe has just moved to Uni and staying in halls as you do) and are at the same university so the relationship has continued. I just think it’s a bit ick that he doesn’t think “Christ she’s 18 and I’m 25”.

OP posts:

ClifftopView · 24/09/2023 00:03

Drivingmenutsman · 23/09/2023 23:55

I know what you mean, but she’s only just left home. They met in London during the spring (she turned 18 in august and I believe has just moved to Uni and staying in halls as you do) and are at the same university so the relationship has continued. I just think it’s a bit ick that he doesn’t think “Christ she’s 18 and I’m 25”.

Edited

Judgey much? My sister went straight from the family home to married life with a 25 year old at the age of 18. No-one batted an eyelid because it felt right. It's not ick. It seems like you want to make something of it. Envious? Hopefully they will be as happy as my sister and her husband have been for the last 30 years.

Schum · 24/09/2023 00:04

I was 18 when I first dated my husband. He was 25. He says he was a bit unsure about asking me out because of the age gap but we’ve been together 24 years and married 20 years with 4 kids now so I’m glad he did. I obviously think it’s fine.

Procrastination4 · 24/09/2023 00:08

To be honest, I think your own behaviour is a bit off if you are stalking her instagram as you claim. Get a life of your own!

ClifftopView · 24/09/2023 00:10

Procrastination4 · 24/09/2023 00:08

To be honest, I think your own behaviour is a bit off if you are stalking her instagram as you claim. Get a life of your own!

Yes, the interest in this situation seems a bit over the top.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 24/09/2023 00:12

Right side of cuspy , just.

17, 26 for instance would be wrong side of cuspy

Sugarfree23 · 24/09/2023 00:17

Op are you one of the posters who think there should be a law against over 21s sleeping with under 21s?

I know at least 3 couples who've been together decade's with bigger age gaps than that who met with the girls were 18 or 19.

Leave them alone and butt out

Keepitweird · 24/09/2023 00:22

I'm 7 years older than my DH does that make me dodgy too? Cos that's what you're inferring ref the age difference......

Original poster

Drivingmenutsman · 24/09/2023 00:55

ClifftopView · 24/09/2023 00:10

Yes, the interest in this situation seems a bit over the top.

Show quote history

These comments 🤣 fair enough

ive known her from the day she was born and I take an interest in her life. She’s a very sweet girl who I care about a lot. Just thought it was a bit 🤔

OP posts:

Frabbits · 24/09/2023 01:00

You are weirdly invested in this.

They are both consenting adults.

Mountaineer0009 · 24/09/2023 01:02

i can understand your points

Aquamarine1029 · 24/09/2023 01:04

Do you honestly have nothing better to do? 18 and 25 is nothing, especially if the younger female is sensible and mature. Even if she's not, it's none of your business.

"Weirdly invested" as a pp said is an understatement.

TiredMamOfTwo · 24/09/2023 01:08

I was 17 when I first started dating DH who was 24.
17 years later we're still together. don't find it odd.

Drivingone · 24/09/2023 01:10

Completey fine. Both adults, at a similar stage in life.

You wouldn't bat an eyelid at a couple aged 28 and 35.