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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it difficult to throw away bday cards

58 replies

jacksonbrowne · 23/09/2023 18:26

Strongly suspect I ABU, particularly since I already have more than enough clutter. I’m not one of those people who gets 50 birthday cards, but a few from people I care about. Do you throw them away? Keep in a box? How long do you keep them out for (e.g. on mantelpiece or similar)?

OP posts:
MidnightOnceMore · 23/09/2023 23:07

I keep them up a few days, then recycle. Any especially nice card fronts go in the craft cupboard.

I keep any cards made by the children in a memory box.

CantThinkOfANewUsernameAgain · 23/09/2023 23:10

Mantle for 24hrs

Keep ones from the dcs, parents, and late GPs.

Not all of them i probably get 20 +

As a kid I'd get probably 40 odd. We have a huge family. My mum kept them all and gave to me when i moved out. I did not need hundreds of cards. Plus some family i couldn't even remember b4 they passed or something.

The dcs i keep GPs aunts and uncles and ours.

XenoBitch · 23/09/2023 23:11

I keep them too.

Iguanas369 · 23/09/2023 23:15

I keep them up for a week. Then i save a few family ones each year and throw out the previous years so I always have one from each person for sentimental reasons without getting overloaded with clutter. It's nice knowing i have the last birthday card my grandparents ever sent me.

Alltheyearround · 23/09/2023 23:22

Kept for 1 week then any nice ones I make into bookmarks.

@bobbitybobbitybob is there a link to your friend's charity cards? Great idea.
I did it one Christmas making mini advent calendar cards from recycled ones from previous year. I do like keeping especially nice Christmas cards to decorate the doors at Christmas, have a few from every year since DS was born.

NotYeti · 23/09/2023 23:22

I keep all the birthday/Christmas/Mother's Day etc cards I get from DC and DH because they write such nice things I can't bring myself to throw them away. I also keep random cards from my parents and best friends from my home country because again they tend to write a bit more than a basic message. I have tons of cards in various boxes and whenever I go to declutter I find them and read a few and they being back loads of lovely memories. I'm a bit of a hoarder for "memory prompts" so I do keep things like concert/movie/travel tickets or flyers from places we've been to etc. I can't help myself!

QueSyrahSyrah · 23/09/2023 23:25

I keep special ones, and like a PP, from very close friends and family I tend to keep them for a year, just in case that was the last one I receive from them. Morbid as that may be, I'm glad I have the last birthday and Christmas cards from some relatives we've since lost.

Cards from DH go in a box we have with wedding keepsakes, engagement cards and so on, I like to look through it from time to time.

Whatonearthdidicomeinherefor · 23/09/2023 23:26

I tend to keep special ones & all from dc & dh now but I used to keep them all & I know I have too many. When I can be bothered have the time I will go through & then just keep the last one each person sent (though I'll still keep all the handmade ones from the dc.

I am a terrible hoarder.

hotcandle · 23/09/2023 23:40

As soon as the person has left my house, I bin the card! I see it as I've read the card and message and I'm not going to read it again.

Wolvesart · 23/09/2023 23:48

jacksonbrowne · 23/09/2023 18:26

Strongly suspect I ABU, particularly since I already have more than enough clutter. I’m not one of those people who gets 50 birthday cards, but a few from people I care about. Do you throw them away? Keep in a box? How long do you keep them out for (e.g. on mantelpiece or similar)?

Keeping 50th birthday cards is so normal it’s practically compulsory

RogueFemale · 23/09/2023 23:59

I used to have a big box of old cards and photos going back to childhood, which I hardly ever looked at. When my mother died I had to clear her house of tons of stuff, and after that I edited my big box of cards and chucked 95% of them. I still never look at the ones I kept. Overall, clutter makes me anxious and I'm far happier without it.

caringcarer · 24/09/2023 00:28

I've kept the last birthday card my Mum sent to me just before she died. That's almost 10 years ago and I still put it up every year on my birthday. I can't throw it away because she can never send me another one. I got 17 cards this year plus the one from Mum.

melj1213 · 24/09/2023 00:35

I am super sentimental so I struggle to throw out cards so have had to come up with a strict system of what I can keep and what I throw out.

I have kept all my "milestone birthday" cards - 16th/18th/21st etc - and any other special cards (eg my first Mother's Day/Christmas/Birthday card from DD or any cards with lovely heartfelt messages from friends or family) or cards from one off occasions eg my first holy communion, Congratulations cards from DDs birth etc and I can keep accumulating them indefinitely

"Normal" birthday/Christmas cards I keep for a year and then I throw them out unless the person who wrote it is no longer with us, in which case it goes into the "long term storage pile" and it means I never worry about throwing out the last card someone might have given me.

The last card my grandad ever wrote me was my 28th birthday card and if I hadn't saved my cards from that birthday then I wouldn't still be able to take out my memory box and look back at the little poem he'd written in the card whenever I'm feeling particularly sentimental. I struggle to remember his voice as we have so few recordings (and the ones we do have are so delicate or terrible quality as they're so old) so knowing, just from reading my name at the top of the card, that I still recognise his handwriting helps me feel like I'm doing something to keep the memory of him alive.

Emz6103 · 24/09/2023 00:36

I keep mine and get them all out every year. Same for my children. The house is full of cards at every birthday Xmas n mother's Day. One thing you could do is give them back and ask whoever sent it to you to write a little note of a funny memory that happened throughout the year and after ten years you have one card the same card with lots of nice memories. Do it with each n every card so you have memories from your parents your friends and children, each memory unique and cards full of personal memories. Saves money too, get everyone to do the same....
So I wrote a memory for my daughter and she writes one for me, same for my son's and my friends

ElizaWinter · 24/09/2023 00:37

hotcandle · 23/09/2023 23:40

As soon as the person has left my house, I bin the card! I see it as I've read the card and message and I'm not going to read it again.

What's the point in buying you cards then? Confused

I think todays teens don't send cards at all to each other so I suppose they will become obsolete anyway in the not so distant future.

canonlyhopexo · 24/09/2023 00:40

I keep any cards from my kids and husband and any especially nice ones from my parents and siblings.
Every year I write in my kids cards notable events from across the year (new words, walking, holidays, starting school, particular hobbies etc) and they are added to their memory boxes.

DoobyDooToo · 24/09/2023 02:00

I've kept every single birthday card I've ever received and I'm nearly 50! I've kept all my kids' cards too.

AutumnSalad · 24/09/2023 02:06

I keep maybe 3 from each birthday, that have an extra value. And I keep significant birthday ones for the kids, for their keepsake box. It doesn't take up too much room. I'd say I had one big shoebox for all of the families cards.

sanityisamyth · 24/09/2023 02:06

@Wolvesart she didn't say 50th birthday cards.

AutumnSalad · 24/09/2023 02:07

canonlyhopexo · 24/09/2023 00:40

I keep any cards from my kids and husband and any especially nice ones from my parents and siblings.
Every year I write in my kids cards notable events from across the year (new words, walking, holidays, starting school, particular hobbies etc) and they are added to their memory boxes.

I love the idea of significant events, why didn't I think of that!

DoratheFlora · 24/09/2023 10:10

hotcandle · 23/09/2023 23:40

As soon as the person has left my house, I bin the card! I see it as I've read the card and message and I'm not going to read it again.

This really puts me off buying anyone cards.

Why do you even wait? Why not bin it in front of them then they will know what you think and not even bother/waste their money.

blahblahblah1654 · 24/09/2023 10:11

I keep cards from DS and DH but chuck the rest

Whatonearthdidicomeinherefor · 24/09/2023 10:13

When my mum died I went through her keepsakes and found cards that my grandparents had sent each other before they were married in 1920. Beautiful and I'm so glad that they kept them.

hotcandle · 24/09/2023 10:23

@doratheflora Holding onto a birthday card for 24 hours compared to 1 hour isn't going to compound the message anymore.

I can still read and appreciate the effort and sentiment.

DoratheFlora · 24/09/2023 10:28

@hotcandle I think most people who send cards don't expect them to be binned as soon as they walk out of the door. If I knew this I wouldn't bother to give you one.

Do you send cards yourself?