Private tutors would this bother you?

[ClippyClopp]

I’ve recently taken on a new student, we had agreed the slot was 4:30-5.

Parent then contacted me to say 4:30 was difficult for them and asked to change to 4-4:30. I agreed.

Ever since they arrive 5-10 minutes early. I realise they are coming straight from school as that’s easier for them.

Parent drives off but still returns at 4:30. I realise it’s only 5-10 minutes but I don’t get home until 3:45 and really want those 15 minutes to have a cuppa, eat an apple etc.

Last time they came they rang my door bell at 3:51, I purposely took a couple of minutes to answer, hoping they would realise they were early and get the message when I did my surprised face at the door. (Parent could see me from the car).

I feel a bit petty as I know it’s probably not a big deal, but it’s annoying me as I said I no longer have that 15 minutes to myself and I feel parent is maybe taking the piss?

it’s on a day I work through lunch to be able to get home earlier so it’s annoying me more!

If I message the parent to say it’s 4pm start not 3:50 / 3:55 I think that just makes me look petty? Not sure what to do?

Don't answer the door

I would answer the door and ask them to wait in the car until their timeslot.

Ha ha that’ll definitely do the trick, isn’t that a bit rude though? 😂

Say you have a new online tutoring sesh til 4. Lies work on CFs.

of course you aren’t being unreasonable. We wait in car if early for piano lesson, or it starts early on the odd occasion he says I’m free come in. But i stay. Sounds like your pupil’s mum wants extra free childcare. Fuck that.

Sorry I mean it ended early if it starts early - you just get your lesson time, no more!

Just don't open the door til 4

That’s a really good idea, I hadn’t thought of that. Perfect! I’ll message to say I’m online till 4 🙏

Speak to them. Say you appreciate they are coming straight from school however can they please not ring more than 5 minutes early as you are still setting up/getting home and you can't accommodate them earlier.

Tell them you are with another student.

I tutor online and some login early but I never let them in 🤣

I would just be honest and tell them to come at 4 for a 30 minute session, or 3:50 for a 40 minute session (and charge accordingly).

Tutoring is a business relationship, not a friendship.

Def very annoying and I think you need to say something or just not answer the door

we usually turn up at piano lessons a bit early and just sit in car until the time or the teacher will come out and tell us it’s ok to start early. In which case I make sure I’m ready to pick him up again a bit earlier than usual.

Blimey no need to lie
i get home at 3.45, I can’t start before 4pm. Would you mind waiting in the car until 4pm.

“I’m afraid I have a prior commitment until 4, so cannot accommodate a 3.50 start. I appreciate you are coming straight from school, but please could I ask you to wait in the car until a couple of minutes before the start of your lesson? I do ask this of all my students; as I’m sure you can understand, it’s disruptive and distracting for students if I have to leave to answer the door and they feel that others waiting can hear their lesson. Many thanks for your consideration in this matter.”

Email them that next week, (and going forward) You are running an online tutorial immediately before their time slot. Please could they arrive at their allotted time and wait in the car if they are a wee bit early.

This

Yanbu!

Ten minutes is 33% more of your time!

If they work an 8 hour shift that's like an extra 3 hours!

I'm a swimming teacher, start getting paid at 4pm, it completely fucks me off when a parent dumps their child in the meeting point at 3.50pm and then fucks off. I'm not a babysitting service.

Two choices.

1. Don't answer the door till 4
2. Quick message to the parents 'Tilly's lesson is 4-4.30. I'm not available till 4pm.'

I don't think so. I'm going to assume you don't have a waiting room. Any other appointment you wouldn't just walk into early, you'd wait. It's rude to expect to come in 10 mins early IMO

In your second post you mentioned you think you're being rude if you say something.

We need to move away from this line of thinkbg, which happens in so many other situations too.

No. They are being rude, you are simply pointing that out.

I do think there’s a lot of cheeky fuckerage about these days. But all the more reason to stop it in its tracks. Slight aside but I have a profession where people constantly ask for advice. for free. Best mates, fine. But one friend fell out with me because I wouldn’t draft her company start up papers/set her up. It would have taken so long AND business and pleasure dont mix. I’d never have said ‘can I drop my kids in your private childcare setting for free’ - once she was set up- and yet she expected me to do days of work for free. It’s mental. And she was otherwise lovely! Just a bit of a cheeky fucker epidemic these days.

I offered to pass her on to my colleague who would do her a good rate. She literally never spoke to me again.

And those I do help, I don’t feel it’s actually appreciated? Spent 2 hours recently at 9pm to a friend advising her and she didn’t even message to say thanks! Like two hours of professional advice in the late evening is fun for me??

This.

Why bother lying? There's no need!

Because unfairly, cheeky fuckerage is a bit like gaslighting - the recipient of it is made to feel guilty for quite reasonable objection.

When there is a business relationship that also involves the personal, as here, it’s a good business decision to take the path of least resistance and create what I would call a constructive lie that results in the least friction, but the same outcome.

I’m a tutor. There’s two types of parents, those who value your time and those who don’t. The latter are more likely to pay late as well.

I have students who will wait in the car if they arrive early, even when they can see I’m there. If I go out to get them, they’ll apologise for being early. They are the same parents who pay promptly! I’ve had online students whose parents have messaged me after a lesson that I’ve let overrun offer to pay extra for my time.

On the flip side I have the odd one who will rock up early and get sent to my door from the car. In the past, I’ve sent them back as I have been teaching online. Or I’ll stop at the end of their time. If there’s no parent to collect, the child will be waiting, work packed away, coat on, while I catch up on admin.

If a parent brings a child to the door early and I’m happy to start early, I will say ‘oh, you’re early, lucky you, you can finish early.’ Then I’ll tell the parent the pick up time.
Occasionally, I have had to message parents about time keeping or late payments. As long as it’s polite and professional it shouldn’t be a problem. They’re the ones being at best, thoughtless and at worst selfish and inconsiderate, so stand your ground!

Totally not on. My son has a drum lesson. We sit in the car until 5.00. Then he knocks on the door. I just wait in the car for a 30 min lesson so I am waiting when the lesson finishes.