About a year ago following over Christmas we hosted my sibling and his family
My mum a few weeks later asked me on the phone about something my DH had apparently done regarding serving food . Their kids have allergies and we are always very careful and i knew what id been told was not true.
I subsequently sent a brief polite message to DB asking him about it, i said id like to try and find out why this was said because it was inaccurate.
We were due to host the entire family again soon and i wanted to sort it out before then..
I was completely baffled by the allegation as i knew it wasn't true as i was there, as was my daughter
He ignored my message but had read it.
I sent another one, again polite, just wondering if he had had a chance to think about it and let me know as i was keen to resolve
Again no answer.
He messaged me about something else a few days later.
DB has a history of being quite arrogant /high handed and always thinks he is right,
He is a very clever educated man and has always been very dismissive of people and their opinions and ive always been made to feel a bit unworthy
When at mums house i asked him if we could have a quick chat about it and he walked away from me and said he did not wish to discuss it
I was so cross by this point that i did raise my voice and ask why on earth he would not discuss it.
I was furious he had walked away from me,
I am a very calm person normally but was upset that he appeared to care so little for me he did not have the decency to talk it through
We kept out each others way and that is that
Mum said DB is upset that im now distant.
She will not see my reasoning.
I tried to sort it out several times nicely, and he refused to engage
I do not like rows or drama so i plan to just keep my distance and be polite/ cordial when we meet.
Mum is a real people pleaser and has always brushed all bad behaviour under the carpet, she hates any discord, so all must be forgotten and moved on from.
I have explained that this no longer works for me, and for years DB has made rude remarks and im expected to tolerate it because “ he doesn't” mean anything by it
She wants us to move on and be friends,
I said ill always love him, but he upsets me so i prefer to keep away.
DB has made no attempt to try and resolve this.
What should i do ?
There is no dramatics in this from me, just a need to keep away so im not left feeling upset with him when we spend time together
Really im upset at feeling dismissed and not listened too