To make complaint against manager?

[darcymae]

I have been with my employer for two years now and have just joined a new team.

I am also pregnant and due to go on Maternity Leave soon.

During a team brief via Teams my manager announced my pregnancy and completely put me on the spot.

I am a private person and have told few people and I feel really annoyed at that my Team Leader think she has a right to share such personal information with people I do not even know.

I work part time and soon after a few people were asking about my pregnancy and asking if that is the reason I only work work part time to get the full rate Maternity Pay.

I have had issues in my pregnancy and has been quite stressful and my Team Leader was asking me why I wanted to keep it a secret, none of her business at all!

I am thinking of making a complaint against her to HR
Am I being unreasonable?

Presumably people would find out sooner or later? If you’re going off soon surely it would be more awkward when people say E.g. “I’ll book in this training for x date” and that date falls into your maternity leave?

The comment about you working part time to get full mat pay is strange and presumably incorrect as occupational pay is usually pro rata/calculated based on average pay, but not complaint worthy on its own.

Wow so many nasty comments on here.
I only asked for some advice!

I am entitled to feel how I feel.

And no the role was not just created for me actually, there were hundreds of redundancies in the company and I was happy to take the redundancy until my previous manager promoted me for this role, this way way before I told HR about my pregnancy too by the way.

Our call volume on this campaign isnt even high and there are over 80 people on the campaign anyway.

I have never complained about anyone to HR actually and three quarters of the team dislike my manager and have reported her for various things.

Bit odd for one poster to say I "sound awful" because I am a private person and value my privacy?

Pregnancy is hardly something that can remain private forever is it 🤣 YABU

I only asked for some advice!

The advice is don't do it. You will be shooting yourself in the foot, silly.

If you're only going to be there for a few weeks (within the statutory period within which you have to tell your employers) then they can tell whoever needs to know. It doesn't sound like your manager singled you out and as PP have pointed out it would be strange for you to disappear so rapidly.

In fact you should be upset at the people who were rude to you but your main concern isn't this but the manager. Why? No matter how private you are some things you can't hide and everyone will find out anyway.

It's also very strange that your team is simultaneously so clued up on employee rights that 75% of them have reported the manager for 'various things' but somehow have the gall to ask you whether you're working PT for the maternity pay. Were the twats in the 25% that like her and don't care about HR best practice?

Also... you will be gone for a few months at least. Are you genuinely saying that, even if this campaign has a 'low call volume' you won't be needed on a new campaign, get more work. etc etc? If so, you must be very lucky to have a job where you have so little going on for such a long period of time.

It all sounds very peculiar.

Feel how you feel but you asked for advice, and here it is.

She shouldn't have disclosed it. I was once in a position where a woman I managed left it very late to make her pregnancy public and was showing quite conspicuously before she told everyone - people kept trying to involve me in gossipy: 'Do you think Beth is pregnant? She's put on so much weight!' conversations. Kept out of it, muttered 'Dunno ..' and excused myself.

It was your first meeting with them and they are people you don't know, yet you know that 3/4 of them dislike the manager and have reported her for various things?

Is the fact that other team members have reported your manager colouring your opinion of this? Because ok, they might not be the best persons but equally I dont believe theres anything to see here, in your complaint. The "disclosure" feels reasonable.

You said youd told other people in the company. Would this have created a sense of open/common knowledge?

I had only told my previous manager and my trainer (who advised HR of the pregnancy).

There is one person from my previous team who I am friendly with ( I didnt even tell her im pregnant ) who is on the new team.

There is a WhatsApp group chat with the team excluding the manager which I was invited to join - that is how I know she has been reported for various things and she is regularly torn to be pieces by other team members.

I personally dont have anything against her and thought she was OK but as I said I feel as if she put me on the spot.

Maybe it is my pregnancy hormones but I will perhaps just tell her how I feel instead of making a complaint.

And how exactly did she 'put you on the spot'? If this is about the comments other people made they are the issue.
Your team sounds highly unpleasant and unprofessional with the work Whatsapp group.

Go ahead and tell your manager if you like but you'll just make yourself look ridiculous. As a professional, did you really expect to just disappear a few weeks into the new role, only to re-appear several months later. With zero explanation?

I guarantee you if your team are as bad as you say no information will lead to a lot of rumours as why you vanished. Which will probably stress you out even more.

I get that you're upset and stressed by your pregnancy but you're taking it out on someone who hasn't done anything wrong and not only that you seem to have a very strange notion of how unnecessary your presence is at your job. She has not told the team anything more than facts and again as you're only going to be there for a few more weeks how exactly do you know the impact your absence is going to have, You can't assume that it doesn't matter solely based on your current workload. Someone going on mat leave with a known return period is very different from, say sick leave where the outcome is uncertain and so planning has to be done.

It may well be your manager's have spoken as part of the handover. Created a sense of "open knowledge". Nothing devious or underhand. Def talk about how it made you feel rather than heading to HR. That conversation will hopefully clear your concerns and help you to build a relationship when you return.

A relationship based on what YOU feel about your manager. Not everyone else. That whatsapp sounds toxic. I'd steer clear.

The bit about your trainer telling HR about the pregnancy - now that feels like it was your news to disclose and for you to put wheels in motion. Not theirs. How did you feel about that because IMO that's the thing to have gotten grumpy about.

It just caught me of guard when she announced it during the team brief, and the girl I am friendly with was saying " Oh I didnt know you was pregnant, you never mentioned it".

I didnt know what to say.

I personally think the manager is OK and she has asked about staying in touch when I do go on Maternity Leave.
I have known her since July as she also trained with us.

Yeah some of the comments made about my manager are quite nasty on the WhatsApp group chat.
I tend to keep out of the badmouthing as she has always been OK with me.

Im glad I never made the complaint!

I dont think she meant anything by it as I dont get the impression she is nasty at all, if anything she comes across as quite lonely and has said that she wants to make friends.

Another thing people get offended about, it's exhausting.

I guess the term "maternity cover" will have to disappear, as it's clearly a breach of privacy to share information about a pregnancy.

I can't picture how it will work: we are training "new person" but we can't tell you who they will replace, why or for how long, it's a secret.

What do you expect to happen if you complain?

Apology
Sacking
Compensation
Just to make a point

Don't complain to HR - speak to your manager like an adult. Explain your preference for privacy moving forward.

Your posts are coming across a bit precious/petulant. You may not be, but it reads like that. Fwiw.

Your manager has breached your privacy and should have asked your permission to disclose this information. Had she done so, she could’ve made the announcement closer to your ML. I’d definitely speak to HR but just mention it in the course of ML discussions, rather than as a direct complaint

My old manager was taking the redundancy he never mentioned my pregnancy to anyone as he did say he would notify HR as there were procedures to follow.

My trainer had to advise HR of my pregnancy as I had to book time off work training to attend my 20 week scan and my trainer was keen to ensure that I got paid the 3 hours your entitled to take for appointments.

Apparently this was the first that the company had heard of the pregnancy and my now manager and HR had to have a Maternity Meeting with me.

Yeah the WhatsApp group can be brutal towards my manager but I stay out of all the nastiness.

That's understandable OP. Not sure if this is your first but it was quite unreasonable to presume that absolutely nobody would find out until you'd left. In the unlikely even that it had happened. You might still have been 'put on the spot' with people saying 'oh you never mentioned it' when you went back.

If you are really friendly with someone it's not unusual for them to wonder why you never mentioned it to them as it's big news but that's not professionally relevant and again, as it would have come out anyway not your manager's fault.

I'm glad you're not joining the rest of the group in slating her.

@blueshoes that's unnecessary - OP isn't making any complaint not sure what she's sticking the knife in about. This team sounds really cliquey and cruel.

Glad the OP has seen the light

I think some of the responses OP is getting are a bit harsh, and definitely no need to interrogate her on why she's working part time, why she's going on mat leave so soon after joining a new team etc. It's irrelevant to her question and women can do without that quite frankly.

I do think it's unrealistic to expect to go on maternity leave without anyone in your team ever being told at any point. Even if it doesn't impact their workload, they'll be wondering where you've gone and would be asking: did you resign, get fired, go on long term sick leave, maternity leave? I would imagine some people would need to be told at some point.

However, as someone who manages a team I would never announce someone's personal news without discussing with the person first to agree how/when they'd like the team to be informed. Certainly not putting you on the spot like that, it's unacceptable and unprofessional.

Without knowing the manager, it's impossible to know whether she did it because she's inexperienced or just completely lacking in tact or emotional awareness. As she's not someone you knew well or trusted, it might have been wise to tell her you didn't want it announced and to have that discussion, rather than assume/hope she wouldn't say anything.

I wonder what will be achieved by a formal complaint, perhaps it might be more productive to feedback to HR consrtuctively.

@JaneIntheBox yes this is my first, I think I am super nervous as I have had quite a few scares.

The girl who I am friendly with was quite upset and messaged me as she thought she had done something wrong.

I havent really told many people in my private life either, just very close family and a few close friends.

There was a team outing ( which I didnt attend as I was not well ) where most of the team met face to face and the issues with my manager and the team stemmed from there.

It's not my style to be nasty and be unpleasant.

Thank you for your advice and providing a different perspective, sometimes another person's input/advice can prove to be more logical.

Yabu what were you expecting to say when you've had a year off then magicaly reapear? Just... 'hi, I'm back' with no explanation? What were you expecting your manager to say when people notice the new person has left? Why are you wanting to hide your pregnancy?

For one it is my body and I have every right to do what I want and if I choose not to disclose my pregnancy that is up to me.

I never said for her not to tell people but she could of gave me a heads up and asked me before she decided to put me on the spot on a live Teams call!

"My old manager was taking the redundancy he never mentioned my pregnancy to anyone as he did say he would notify HR as there were procedures to follow.

My trainer had to advise HR of my pregnancy as I had to book time off work training to attend my 20 week scan and my trainer was keen to ensure that I got paid the 3 hours your entitled to take for appointments.

Apparently this was the first that the company had heard of the pregnancy and my now manager and HR had to have a Maternity Meeting with me."

I'm confused, were you expecting to just go on maternity leave without having told anyone at the company at all!? And the only reason anyone did know was just purely because of an appointment, and even that was then passed to HR indirectly? Did your midwife not inform you that you need to pass a MATB1 form onto HR in order to inform them of your upcoming leave?

Seems very strange that you want to rush to HR to complain about the manager for disclosing this very normal information, when you didn't even disclose this information to HR yourself as is necessary!

I can totally understand not wanting this information shared openly early on in your pregnancy if you've had scares, but if you're only a few weeks away from your maternity leave, then I think people need to know, otherwise where were you expecting them to think you've gone for several months?

I have absolutely no idea why this is an issue?

You are pregnant? Correct.

You will be going off on maternity leave? Correct.

You really need to get over yourself. This isn't a state secret!