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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To invoice DF

46 replies

TryAgainAnotherDay · 22/09/2023 09:24

Living with DF temporarily until can get into new property. Unfortunately this has been pushed back so now looking into a short term rental ASAP.

Not viable to live with DF anymore due to my mental health and also the 90 minute commute to work and back costing a fortune in fuel.

Now I will start by saying so far DF has not changed us rent (have offered but he declined, yet kept on about it every other day about how we wasnt paying rent, and still declining any offer we gave). we agreed that as we are here longer then expected will start paying and he asked us how much we could afford. We gave a figure and he laughed at us saying no chance and then suggested a higher figure, think nearly £1000.

Now I'm not against paying rent for the 3 of us but DF has no mortgage / rent to pay himself and I can private rent a house for less then that amount (hence why we are now looking into private rentals) his reasoning is that it covers council tax, bills and so on.

Fine.... but in the month we have lived here, all staying in one room, we have bought all the food, including his. Paid for any repairs needed to the house, done his garden (looked like a jungle when we moved in) done all the cleaning, washing, made him packed lunches for work, food shopping and getting any bits and pieces he may need (birthday cards etc) as well as giving him a lift to anywhere he wants to go. Basically apart from cooking the odd night he has not lifted a finger since we have lived here.

AIBU to paid agreed rent amount then invoice for gardening, house keeping and taxi services??

OP posts:
Fourlegsandatail · 22/09/2023 09:39

No because invoicing a family member is fucking bonkers.

Just say you will deduct whatever you have paid in respect of him/his home from the rent.

The fact he is charging such a high rent is probably because he wants you gone rather than actually caring about the money.

Original poster
TryAgainAnotherDay · 22/09/2023 09:52

Well you would think that, but he was talking about me changing jobs yesterday so we could stay at his home

OP posts:
Iwantmyoldnameback · 22/09/2023 09:56

Did he ask you to do garden or cleaning?

TomatoSandwiches · 22/09/2023 09:56

Your father is a grabby bastard, just move ASAP.

NerrSnerr · 22/09/2023 09:58

Sounds like he's telling you it's time to move out. I think you've probably outstayed your welcome.

Dacadactyl · 22/09/2023 10:00

If you can rent more cheaply, I have no idea why you'd stay with him now.

Just move out, don't pay him any backdated rent (only from the time he first asked for it and suggested his 1k figure) and don't invoice him.

Freezingcoldinseptember · 22/09/2023 10:02

Of course he wants you or stay. Because he loves you.... r cash.. Get gone op. Cheeky Fuckers aren't just young people op!

Changingplace · 22/09/2023 10:04

Move out into rented, irrelevant of what jobs you’ve done (did he ask you to or have you taken upon yourself to do them?), you can’t expect to stay anywhere rent free and it’s not working out.

FinnRussell · 22/09/2023 10:05

This is going to end badly. The lines between tenant and family will be too blurred and you'll end up very resentful. Find somewhere else to live.

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 22/09/2023 10:08

Just pay him what the going would be in your area less his food and move elsewhere.

toomuchforonewoman · 22/09/2023 10:14

So you have been living there completely free for months and now you father suggests rent with all bills paid for £1000 a month. Go try doing that elsewhere and see how far your £1000 will go. The fact you actually mention buying birthday cards is extremely petty and entitled.

Original poster
TryAgainAnotherDay · 22/09/2023 10:17

I've offered rent the whole time we have been here. He said no then every couple of days he will laugh snd say we'll you are here rent free, then I'd offer rent and he would say, no I told you I didn't want anything, cycle would then repeat.

OP posts:
saffronsoup · 22/09/2023 10:19

No, you don't bill him. Just move out into the place where you can live for 1000 and be done with it. Family relationships are always better when you don't live together.

On one hand you say you need to move out ASAP due to your commute and mental health and then you say you are negotiating rent as you might stay longer.

Just leave.

saffronsoup · 22/09/2023 10:20

HOw long have you been living at his place?

MinnieMouse0 · 22/09/2023 10:20

What is the £1000 for? Is it for the entire time you’ve been there/will be there or is it £1000 per month?

toomuchforonewoman · 22/09/2023 10:21

TryAgainAnotherDay · 22/09/2023 10:17

I've offered rent the whole time we have been here. He said no then every couple of days he will laugh snd say we'll you are here rent free, then I'd offer rent and he would say, no I told you I didn't want anything, cycle would then repeat.

So like I said you have been living there rent free and all bills paid and now you want to invoice him for services rendered like cleaning up the garden in the rent free house and giving him a lift? Mental carry on.

PosterBoy · 22/09/2023 10:21

You say you can't live there any more - so move out?
Don't pay any rent for the last month as he said he didn't want it
Stop being petty

You both sound stressed and similar mindsets tbh

Original poster
TryAgainAnotherDay · 22/09/2023 10:24

£1000 per month. So £1000 for the previous month and then £1000 for any months moving forward.

OP posts:
PosterBoy · 22/09/2023 10:24

You are both just playing games with each other. Get a grip

BabaPixi · 22/09/2023 10:26

Just move out and call it a day!

AnSolas · 22/09/2023 10:28

Move out it is not working for either him or you and your 2 other family members.

.

Bored1000 · 22/09/2023 10:41

This is something your husband should be dealing with, it’s his father, don’t get involved.
What does he think and why isn’t he dealing with it?

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/09/2023 10:42

You’re as bad as each other. Rent somewhere else.

bopbey · 22/09/2023 10:47

how many months is the £1000 for? At various points I've lived at home & been charged rent but some people are tight!

NotSorry · 22/09/2023 10:48

Bored1000 · 22/09/2023 10:41

This is something your husband should be dealing with, it’s his father, don’t get involved.
What does he think and why isn’t he dealing with it?

from reading the OP's posts I would say it's her father

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