Benefits reduction

[Bonsaitreepic]

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work.
I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap.
Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them.
im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

Yes you can. Full time distance learning is classed as part time for student fiancé and everything else. I know because I did it.

It isn’t ableist because I disagree with them, it is ableist to think OP can work because they know someone with disabled DC whose needs and circumstances mean their parents can work or that OP can study full-time because they can.

Who said that though? Oh that’s right - not me. I said she needs to think long term. You then went on your epic rants and I gave my example.

It’s not me thinking they know OP can work or study because others do/they can.

You did though. By posting ““Yes it can be done and long term I think you’ll find it’s wise.”. When no not all can do it. And I wasn’t the only poster to call you out.

I'm not bothering to respond unless you actually answer my questions - how was the household financially supported, and who provided childcare. Otherwise what's the point in the conversation? You clearly don't want to tell us how you actually did it.

Everyone has accepted that we don’t know enough about OPs circumstances to know whether she can work or study. Except you, who has placed the question firmly out of bounds for everyone on the thread.

👮

That was when you started your rant against me wasn’t it though. When you said op couldn’t better herself and think long term. I then said it is possible. I never said all can do it. Is there a reading comprehension issue here or are you just backtracking because your rant was unfounded? It’s one or the other.

No, they haven’t. Plenty of people on this thread have posted it is possible despite the OP posting clearly she is unable to work right now.

I worked. Is that a suitable answer? The self importance thinking I actually care if you respond. People on MN are hilarious.

No, it wasn’t. It was before I even responded to you.

Just checked. Your post with that quote was at 18:47. My first reply to you was at 18.57.

She has told you she was homeless at 16. That she has three disabled children. That she studied remotely through the OU. Why do you need to find the loophole that will allow you to soothe your own self-image?

Right, so you were the sole adult and you worked full time and did a full time distance learning university course? Where were the children while you were doing the equivalent of two full time jobs? Were they in paid childcare?

It’s quite funny really. All this kicked off because I said op should think long term - not even get a job. Jesus. Absolutely mental gymnastics saying it could never be possible and then I gave an example where it could. Truly a strange old place!

Oh no, I was homeless at 17 and only have one of my children disabled, has she won?

I'm not looking for a loophole, I'm just saying that if she had some actual useful advice for the OP about how to actually do this it would be a godsend - but she's not, she's just smugly saying that she managed it and the OP should "skill up" which isn't at all helpful.

@Princessandthepea0 I’m reading this thread and I’m sorry people are giving you such a shit time. I completely agree with what you said, OP really needs to consider things long term, that’s no wrong answer at all.

People are jumping down your neck without providing any meaningful input that y’know, helps the OP in any possible way. People are incredibly vicious and nasty on here. I for one think your story is quite inspirational and you should be bloody proud of yourself.

It’s not full time really. You can also go part-time if needed and do a course over 6 years. No-one studied for the full 32 hours a week. I didn’t anyway as I’m quite academic. Is that ok with you?

So what did that look like? And who had the children while you did it?

I have followed this thread all day and people have consistently said they don’t know enough about the OP’s circumstances to know whether she could work. They have asked relevant questions (e.g. could she work when child is at school/fathers/if older son provides care), which is usual when someone asks for advice on MN. However this is when the red mist descends for you and you tell everyone off.

It just shows MN’s true underbelly I’m afraid. Thank you. Never pretended it was easy or everyone can do it. There are options out there long term. I only said op would be better thinking long term as opposed to short termist UC. Then had to explain my life story because I was being called ableist. Some people need to look at themselves. More outing than I wanted it to be.

Several posters have posted OP can work because someone they know with disabled child does or they do despite OP stating she is unable to. That is thinking they know OP’s situation better than she does, so no not all have said they don’t know enough. No, Red must descends at all, but yes I have challenged ignorant comments thinking they know OP’s situation better than she does.

Yes she has won, but not in circumstances just on attitude.

You’re not asking because she’s a role model for you, you’d just like to prove to yourself that she’s somehow fraudulent.

Nope, I just asked her how she managed it but she obviously doesn't want to say because it will hurt her argument somehow. If she actually has tips it would be really helpful, for the OP and for others like me!

People are perfectly entitled to challenge the OP, she has posted asking for advice. A persons capacity for work is not a taboo subject just because they are also a carer.

And people are perfectly entitled to call those people ignorant for thinking they know OP’s situation better than she does when she has clearly posted she is unable to work.