Benefits reduction

[Bonsaitreepic]

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work.
I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap.
Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them.
im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

I feel for you OP, it must be hard to be unable to work outside the home because you provide valuable care and to be reliant on something that changes, even if expected, is a big difference for you. I know that feeling of panic when there are money issues so take a breathe and remember that you have got this far and been able to raise 4 children and provide care as well to one of them. You are capable of working this out, with help and advice. I do understand that its hard to take money from your child, but can I gently say that it is a lot of money for his age, when he hasn't had too much before I am assuming. So I think, since you have done such a good job of taking care of them, it's ok for you to say, we need to pull together and the family needs more from you at the moment. I have a child similar age, and it didn't take them long to get work at all, the hospitality sector has so much atm depending of course where you live.
Also, I have had to rely on help before in my younger years, and had periods of struggle. I am not there anymore, and just wanted you to know, you are not a drain on society. You are of value even if you can't work outside your home right now.

What is playing the system, to your mind? I live in a high poverty area. Most people I know are either only in benefits or low wage with UC top ups. Most people I know are living month to month in mounting debt. Food banks with queues down the street. A mother getting her young child to grab and hide groceries in the pram. People being made homeless in private rentals and being put in temp accommodation several miles away from their children’s schools/work/childcare providers. These are not the lives of people who are enjoying a free ride. No one I know is bragging about what they ‘get away with’, it’s just what I see and in some circumstances simply turn a blind eye to. They do what they need to, to survive. It’s a horror show and once you start sliding down the shit hill with benefits and housing with a higher cost of living, it’s near impossible to claw your way back up. And at the top there’s no helping hand, just sneering betters who don’t realise their one slip away from joining in.

Is he able to access careers support via old school or via another service (it’s called connexions here)
I’d honestly encourage him to look at everything and anything. Out of interest I checked indeed for my area and there’s lots I’d never have thought of. All sorts of entry level council and nhs etc. Trainee railway signalling starting at £32000?
I’m wondering if he was planning uni and hasn’t got grades or suddenly changed mind hence it being a shock now to Op to lose money.
It’s not normal for an 18 year old lad to not work - he’s had 3 months off already. I’d have expected him to have a summer job lined up for after A levels, they finished in June. It won’t be doing him any good mentally to sit around at home.

What about an apprenticeship?

He can gain skills whilst getting paid, rather than just picking up an interim job in Maccies or a call centre.

He can browse available apprenticeships on the gov website and search within a location.

https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/explore-your-education-and-training-choices/apprenticeship?utmsource=google&utmmmedium=searchad&utmmcampaign=GTJp55alwayson&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItIny4eK-gQMVBcftCh0pUQxSEAAYAiAAEgJQKPDDBwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Taking his UC is a very short term solution; what are you going to do long term? Benefits can be very generous when you have children - problem is when they grow up and it stops. I would seriously consider thinking long term now. Skilling up whilst at home. Yes it can be done and long term I think you’ll find it’s wise.

I'm pretty sure the OP said he was working in a cafe but got laid off from that due to a lack of customers.

Benefits are generous when you have children? Really? Nearly half of all single parents are in poverty. This isn't because of "generous" benefits.

I work in welfare rights too. For our team, the success rate at PIP is 25%-40%, we appeal almost all the refusals and the success rate at appeals is over 98%.

That means that 60%-75% of the applications we do are wrongly refused.

It's all very well telling her to skill up but she's caring for a disabled child at home, and Carers' Allowance doesn't actually allow you to study for many hours at all, as you are being paid to care for your child.

The ones not working are likely to be the ones in poverty but actually, especially on UC when you have working parents it does become a lot more generous because of the taper rates and the work allowances which you get when you have kids on the claim and 85% of childcare costs paid for. I am honestly surprised by how much better off people are by working on UC.

Yes they are - especially with a disability in the house and the premiums. Op was coping before - she’s not now. She needs to think long term. If one child is of age, won’t be long before the next. What is she going to do then? UC as a single person with no children is not a fun ride. Re skilling would be wise rather than thinking short term. Taking his UC rather than building a work ethic by example will perpetuate a cycle of poverty. Most 18 year olds would not consider UC by default.

I managed to get a first class degree whilst caring for three disabled children. It’s possible.

I think the transition from education to adulthood is a very tricky time. Between 18-20 is a very expensive time for low income households because parents no longer get tax credits/UC but the youngster is still trying to learn about being grown up. Transport can be tricky too if they can't drive and need to get to work for awkward hours.

I'm a single parent with four children and two have already grown up and the third is at college so I'm looking at losing help for her next summer unless she stays in education. Many of them are doing part time jobs around college. Many are zero hour contracts. It takes a bit of time to then find full time work and parents end up bridging that gap most of the time but on less money.

Not so generous for op though who can't work as she's caring for a child and has to support 3 children on two UC child elements because of the cap. this is taking her older child out of the equation.

It's not possible for everyone. Carers' Allowance wouldn't allow you to do a full time degree, and unless you have reliable childcare and an appropriate school place for each child then it wouldn't be possible. Just because it's possible for you doesn't mean it's possible for most people.

Fixed that for you. Since you can’t really be so ignorant to think just because you can everyone can.

I managed to get a first class degree whilst caring for three disabled children. It was possible for me, but not all disabilities and circumstances are the same and it isn’t possible for everyone.

Problem is that people get stuck in a cycle of not wanting to improve their life chances. Some people can’t, a lot of people don’t want to. People don’t like to think you can have adverse life circumstances and still do well without having pity parties.

My point still stands. Thinking short term will be disastrous for the op. She needs to think long term.

Get your lad into work and charge £300 board given I take you are still feeding him, paying for his utilities and rent on the house which includes his room and perhaps even doing his laundry and buying his toiletries in the weekly shop

And what exactly makes you think OP wouldn’t try to improve her situation if it was possible? Rather than ignorantly blathering about you being able to get a degree so it’s possible, you need to realise just because you can doesn’t mean everyone can and OP posted she is unable to work.

Okay, so if you want to bestow your wisdom, how did you get a first class degree while looking after three disabled children?

Who earned the money in your household? Did you have a second parent providing income? Who took care of the children while you studied? Did a relative do it for free? Did you pay for someone to do it? Where was the childcare money from? Do your children have school places? Are they able to access normal childcare? Or did you need specialised?

If you're saying that you managed it as a single parent on Universal Credit then please spread your wisdom because I would love to know how to do it!

@Princessandthepea0 i knew it wouldn’t be long before @OvertakenByLego slapped you with an ignorant label! You’re in good company.

MN really finds it hard when people with disabled children don’t post on here saying how hard their life is. Why is that? Why is it that posters are so ready to tear down people who do well in challenging circumstances? Those that encourage people to do the same?

I can only image it makes people feel uncomfortable. Judging by the amount of reactions I have had for encouraging op to think longer term. It sure hits a nerve. I’ll be honest I get sick of all the woe is me pity parties on here. I was dealt a hard card, dealt with it and now can afford private care.

The absolute barriers people on MN put up from people bettering themselves is bizarre. It’s like there is a competition to who has it hardest. It’s so odd.

Op needs to think what’s she’s going to do long term as the benefits are starting to stop. Maybe an online course. Rather than sitting there panicking as it will get worse long term.

It is ignorant to think just because you can everyone can.

But it may well have been possible for op, had she had a mind to.
You are determined to shout down anyone who suggests op might have to look at doing things differently going forward.

Why? You don't know her circumstances in any greater depth than anyone else reading her posts, yet you're like a dog with a bone.

No-one has torn you down because you are doing well, I have challenged you because you seem to think because you can everyone can. You doing well doesn’t make me uncomfortable in the slightest. Bizarre you think it does.