Benefits reduction

[Bonsaitreepic]

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work.
I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap.
Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them.
im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

I was a single mum, I worked.

I'm a lone parent working full time too. It doesn't make us superior or give us the right to pass judgment. OP has said she has a child with complex needs.

My estate must not have got that memo.

So do I. But not every single mum is able to. Might surprise you to learn everyone is in a different situation. OP said she has a child with complex needs. Unless you know her situation intimately you don't know if she can work or not.

Oh and following on from my previous. At no point whilst DD was waiting months for her start date did she or I consider claiming…I work so was able to prop her up, but it never crossed our minds to claim JSA or UC or whatever it is they get.

I was thinking that. He has presumably grown up with the idea that you can do nothing and get paid for it.

Oooh they can tell my sons schools whilst they’re at it! Tell them I should be looking for a job rather than being called in to help with my child’s toileting needs, or being told to keep the other one at home for certain days because he’s too wound up or can’t partake in the activities the other children are doing (also this close to needing to be homeschooled). But I’m sure a magic 9-3 (well 2pm in my case, reduced school day) job would be perfectly fine with all the time off I’d need to meet their needs. But I’m sure one of these all problem fixing special needs school places will pop up for one of eventually so we can stop being awful spongers…

Has he? What’s given you that idea? Can you give examples or are you just making things up?

You've seen all their medical records and bank accounts then? Interesting.

How long since you were dealing with a young person trying to get a job?

So you used to receive almost £300 for your son, he now receives £250 directly - so overall lets say £40 down.

If he is only contributing £50 a month, would you previously given him £200 a month pocket money? Sounds like more of his £250 needs to contribute to the family income - and/or he gets a job - but if he does, that, he still needs to give you a realistic amount rather than a token payment.

At one time I was a young person trying to get a job, in circumstances that were a lot more difficult than the OP’s son. I was homeless at 16 and clawed my way out - didn’t claim a bloody penny. Worked three jobs while I took my GCSEs and came out with As and Bs.

Well, what's he actually doing? Other than thinking, that is.

If he were part of a working family, the option of doing nothing and getting paid for it would never cross his mind.

One of my DC proposed to "think about what to do with their life" at my expense. I said they could get a job while they were "thinking".

He can't afford to sit at a crossroads right now.

He needs to get out to work and think about what he wants to do while he's earning.

Of course this eldest son should get a job, any job. Even if it's somewhere like Maccy D's, it still brings a wage in.

But, the OP needs to check that her entitlement is correct, bearing in mind she has a disabled child.

OP - best check you are getting the correct amount:

https://capuk.org/money-and-debt-advice/benefits-calculator

Yes - because the majority of jobs wanted 18+ !

Obviously because your dd is not available for work and spending 35 hours a week searching.

What is there to 'deal with'?

There are plenty of jobs around if you look hard enough.

With 2 years restaurant experience I’d question what exactly is he applying for and how proactive he’s being. Where do his friends work - around here lots is word of mouth so they apply where their mates work. Has he asked on Facebook community page - 18 year old lad 2 years waiting on experience any jobs going locally is done here.
Teen jobs for my dc and peers are babysitting, McDonald’s, waitressing, kitchen at a boarding school, online tutor, after school club, lifeguard, junior referee.
Is he being too picky? I wonder if he’s holding out for a ft career type job.

Just a few points though I suspect they've been made already:

1. OP has a child getting DLA and is a Carer. She is therefore not required to seek/take work.
2. The benefits change is two fold. Firstly the eldest is no longer a child/qualifying young person and drops off her claim. Secondly, because her youngest was born after 2017 the two child rule means she got no additional benefit for them. Only when child #2 drops out will she pick up a CRE for the youngest.
3. The benefit cap is not an issue as DLA is in play.
4. Unless the eldest has some form of limited capability for work they need to find a job. That may or may not be easy depending on where that live and what qualifications/skills they had.

As ever the amount of bile and judgmentalism on AIBU is breathtaking. With hindsight the post would have been better in Money Matters where people who know their stuff would have been on it without getting beyond page #1.

There are plenty of jobs around if you look hard enough.

Indeed. Care homes, call centres (many of these are wfh now too), hospitality, building trade, supermarkets - to name just a few industries who are crying out for unskilled, but good people people who are willing to learn.

I did point out that the benefit cap was irrelevant if DLA/PIP exist within the household.

But, yes, the eldest child needs to find a job. 🙂

I don't think care homes, dealing with the most vulnerable, are the places for unwilling teenagers.

Those jobs need people that are committed and caring.😗

The OP has a disabled child. If she wasn’t looking after that child, have you any idea how much it would cost the tax payer ? You might want to consider that before using phrases such as ‘drain on society’.

See also all the threads on here about disabled children in mainstream schools being a distraction and ‘ruining’ education for neurotypical children. So many responses saying parents should keep those children at home if specialist setting isn’t available as their rights don’t ‘trump those of NT kids right to an education’

Yet those who do keep them at home are benefit spongers who need to get a job 🙄