Benefits reduction

[Bonsaitreepic]

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work.
I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap.
Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them.
im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

This. ^

Oh shut up. Single mums looking after kids are doing BOTH parents jobs.

Here we go with the 'but but but.....' It's just excuses excuses........... It doesn't sound like the OP's son has even TRIED to get a job. And even if he had and cannot get a job, he can hand over the bulk of his benefit to his mother (the OP,) and not dish out a paltry bloody £50 a month of it.

He has over £200 surplus income - a month - to sped on frivolities and jollies. He has no bills, no rent, no insurances, no food to buy, no travel expenses as he has no job, and he doesn't even pay for his own mobile phone! His mother pays for it! Most people don't have HALF the surplus income that he has at the end of the month. No excuses for the OP to be £300 a month worse off when her (now adult) son is getting £250 a month. Get him to hand the bulk of it over til he can be arsed to go out to work. Why is the OP bankrolling an adult?

As some posters have said, the casual jobs to bring in some dosh to help out, are out there in droves. Some people just CBA to look! The OP's son sounds like one. He is a fussy eater too, and as I said, she pays his bloody mobile phone bill. Time for this young man to step up and for the OP to stop coddling him.

I'm not saying 'woo hoo he's 18 he can leave etc. But he can look a bit harder for work, AND pay for his own phone! And also - as for the fussy eating. Fuck that. It would be 'you have 2 choices... eat or starve.' FFS the pussyfooting around and mollycoddling that is being suggested on this thread is breathtaking. No wonder SOME young people are like they are. I think you know what I mean!!!

Your oldest needs to get a job, ANY job for the time being. He can't afford to be fussy.

@FloweryName i don’t think the OP has provided enough information to allow you to reach the conclusions that you have merrily shared with no thought for how they might affect her. She is a single parent and states that this was never in her plans - perhaps she only started claiming UC after her separation? Perhaps it is her youngest child who is disabled and she never planned to be a full time carer to a disabled child and therefore unable to work?

The op has said she is currently unable to work due to this though, so whatever narrative you’re putting on the situation is irrelevant.

I had a disabled child too but I was still able to work

And?

I also know that in many cases a child with a disability still needs a parent available at all times even if they are at school full time. Sometimes expecting a parent to work on top of caring for their disabled child is too much to expect because their child barely sleeps or their needs are too severe.

Again, if you get this why are you questioning the op. She has said she currently cannot work. She may have worked before, she may be looking to work in the future. It’s neither here nor there at this very specific moment in time.

The ones who receive no child maintenance and work if they are physically capable of it are, yes.

Maybe his DAD should be also helping to support him. Everyone has 2 parents.

OP have you informed UC that your child gets DLA? If so, your UC gets increased by £120 per month. I informed UC straightaway when my DD was awarded DLA and they backdated it to the date when she was awarded it. They may do the same for you if you haven't already told them

@AlexaCanYouHearMe the son worked part time in a restaurant for 2 years before he was let go because the business wasn’t making enough money. He is obviously not workshy if he held done a part time job whilst taking his A levels. But that doesn’t fit your narrative, does it?

@Beezknees yes he should. I agree with you.

I am a lone working parent and have every sympathy for OP. People are quick to slag off the mum who is doing 100% of the parenting but not the dad doing fuck all.

What’s ludicrous is all the unemployed people who will never pay a penny of tax. Why bother encouraging more children to be born , when so many of them will never bother to work?

You can't choose to never work. Only people with certain disabilities will never have to work.

Exept they didn't.

In it's heyday they actually forced women to have abortions- some of which were carried out at almost full term.

Pregnant women went into hiding in the hope of being able to give birth to a 2nd child and avoid the horror of forced abortions.

But back to the thread and the "unfairness" of the state only paying benefits for 2 DC.
Unfortunately there was a small amount of woman/ families that made having children on benefits a career choice.

The sad thing is, that because of the actions of a few, many families that fall on hard times will have to pay the price.

I am just not sure if OP is one of those families, as she's clearly enabling her healthy adult DC to avoid working & claiming benefits, while moaning about the cut to her benefits.

@OvertakenByLego No, not all DC attend school full time, or even at all. Some have multiple appointments a week. Some don’t sleep at night and require their parent to be awake, therefore their parent using the time they are at school to sleep. I could go on. There are many parents unable to work because of their disabled DC’s needs.

Thank you 🙏

My friend has had similar and like you and I thought that it meant you could only claim for 2 children. But the rule is actually you can’t claim for any past your 2nd. We thought hers would role over to the youngest but no once your 2 end that’s it your done

Two of the kids are 50/50 with their father and one is over 18, so let’s just dial down the martyrdom.

You might not be claiming carers allowance but have you told UC you are a carer. Do you get the carers premium @Bonsaitreepic

@Throwncrumbs big cars all paid for

I assume this was a dig at the Motability scheme?

I’m a single parent to 4 kids and I raise them to be productive members of society. I also work full time and don’t claim benefits. If being financially independent is important to you, then it’s important to model it to your kids.

Oh brilliant, can you tell my LA that then? My disabled child has been out of school since June, apparently a special school place might open up in September 2024. It's nice that you don't have to know about this area of life, but making sweeping statements judging parents of disabled children without actually finding out the facts isn't a great look.

@Bonsaitreepic when was the 4th child born? Who is the disabled child? Do you get a disabled child premium for them.

My son is studying A-levels and working 2 jobs as well as doing some odd jobs for others. Why would your son's first thought be to claim benefits?

Why didn’t you sit him down and tell him your expectations months ago. I get it OP, my DD (almost 19) bounced from college course to college course over the last two years and has spent the last 4 months being a NEET. But I sat her down a few months ago when it became clear she was throwing another course down the drain, that she get a full time job and she would be expected to cover the shortfall from the loss of child benefit and tax credits (we’re still on legacy TC) now she got an interview very fast after leaving college but in typical NHS style it took several months to get everything in order for a start date. Her first pay pack the first thing she did was transfer the money.

The rest of her money is hers to do as she pleases, but she has to pay board to cover the living costs of her being here.

I agree with all posters that you a-take all his UC and B-tell him to get off his arse and get a job, he doesn’t have the luxury of fannying about and deciding what he wants to do.