Benefits reduction

[Bonsaitreepic]

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work.
I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap.
Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them.
im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

He needs to pay you more than £50.

And he needs to get paid employment and contribute properly to the household.

If it was possible the OP would not have said she was unable to work. The only ‘bizarre’ posts are from those who clearly haven’t a clue about parenting DC with complex needs.

18yr old needs to get a job or move out.

Lots of people think or assume they are unable to work because they aren't aware of support/accomodations available or have been poorly advised.

Its perfectly possible that OP thinks she is unable to work, but with better advice/training/support, could work.

It matters because actually there's no magic money tree, there's a very real possibility that OP, if not now then one day, will be fucked financially if she can find no way to work & earn money at all.

Wheres all this free shit? especially the housing... that hasn't been a thing this millennia. It was gen X that benefited from the council housing and then the cheap sell off of that.

Things like 'big flat screen tv's' aren't exclusive things, you know why I have one? It was a 15 year old hand-me-down from the house clearance when a family member DIED. You know they are common now not rare luxury items you have to buy, there a whole cheap secondhand market even.

You didn't have mobile contracts but I bet you had a landline... my mobile costs £3 per month, far cheaper than a landline is/was. You literally NEED a phone number.

Where are these big cars? I don't know any unemployed people with cars except a very small minority of disabled people who have them on motorbility. I don't really know anyone with a 'big' car employed or unemployed.

No one is getting luxury off 'free handout's'... pull your head out of the daily mail and place it back in reality. In fact benefits where better and life was much easier 'back in the day' when I was a single parent than the shitshow it is now.

Your DS needs to get a job, literally any job, it will help him clarify what he wants to do. He’ll easily be able to net £1000 a month full time, £100 a week to you and £600 spends/saving - good deal at 18 if you ask me.

He needs to give you his £250.

The main reason op is struggling is that she has three kids to support ( 4 including the adult one ) and only receives child element now for two of them . this won't change. Everyone knows that the benefits will reduce as the kids leave education. Agree with most posters that the son needs to contribute more to fill the gap.

Your DS needs to get a job and pay his way if he’s left FT education. How old is he OP?

Nonsense. One does not equal the other. As an adult in the household, her son isn't contributing fairly to the finances and may very well not be contributing fairly in order to help out with his siblings, which may be why she feels unable to work. That's where the suggestion came from.

Yes maybe so but do you have any idea how hard it is to care for a child with a disability as well as running a home, keeping it clean, doing laundry etc? Single mums with neurotypical children can do all these things when the kids are home but with a SN child it’s just not possible, or very difficult to say the least.

If OP was able to work she would not have posted she was unable to.

Taking more than £50 off someone’s £250 (even if really necessary) might be a lot if they’d busted their arse to earn than £250.

But it’s been handed to him on a plate!

I posted above about my niece getting the same UC. Although her parents did genuinely think she couldn’t cope with work and are really happy that it turns out she can, there was a real attitude of, “I’m going to take her to get her UC”.

Remember the awareness campaign years ago around, “it’s your money”?
And the language around one of the most popular website, “entitledto”?

I think that the vast majority of UC claimants work hard and are absolutely entitled to it, and it’s a bloody disgrace that that’s because NMW is laughable.

But I think it’s also developed a culture that means people think the state should give grown arse teen adults pocket money.

Of course the system is right to reduce OP’s benefits - otherwise, where is her incentive to expect him to pay board instead of buying his favourite chocolate bars?

I do feel for you as this will be extremely stressful.

From what you've said, they've reduced your UC by £300 but given £250 of this to your son. I'm assuming before he got that paid directly, he received zero from the government and you provided what he needed to live on.
In the short term, I think you need to explain to him what has happened and ask him to give you the £250 he now gets and you continue the arrangement you had with him before everything changed.
Then once he gets a job, he can pay you £250 or £300 board and keep the rest of his salary himself.
If he needs to give you all his UC, it will likely be an extra driver to him deciding what he wants to do & finding the job.

Yes maybe so but do you have any idea how hard it is to care for a child with a disability as well as running a home, keeping it clean, doing laundry etc? Single mums with neurotypical children can do all these things when the kids are home but with a SN child it’s just not possible, or very difficult to say the least.

Maybe so but op may have no choice? The government are not going to give her more money than they do. One day her elder son may move out, she can't rely on a contribution from him forever.

Eldest son can pitch in with housework etc.

Op sorry to be the bearer of bad news but have you let your local authority know that he has left education as I believe your council tax reduction will also be affected as he is now a non dependent. Not sure if it will be affected until he is working but he will need to pay his share of that too.

He’ll have to do what everyone else does and get a job.

I worked from 17, first on a YTS scheme and either 6 months or a year after that was in my first paid job paying taxes and contributing to the household (bit too low to go on rent). Part of life as an adult managing your money.

Vipers out on this thread today, love kicking someone when they are down. Whilst you are all looking down on OP lashing out your nasty little comments, just remember you never know what's around the corner for you in this life. You may find yourselves in a similar situation. So try be supportive instead of looking down on OP.

I know of one friend/neighbour who has a ND son and is a single parent, and when he was younger she had to do work which fitted around him (and her other DC school etc) and do the cleaning too. She was a dinner lady (break assistant?), dog walker and worked at a bank on Saturdays when the DC were young.

You need to take a couple of hundred off him.

If he wants more money then he has to get a job, any job. Might motivate him to get off his backside.

So he finished school May/June time presumably and hasn't worked a day since?

Mine all had part-time jobs while they were still at school.

If any of the others are 16/17+, kick them out to get a p/t job too!!

Her son isn't contributing fairly and one way he could rectify that is helping with siblings, if possible.

I didn't assume she was lying.

I said lots of posters were assuming she literally couldn't work due to a severely disabled child.

When OP had said nothing of the sort.

Then another posted how to receive DLA for a child, it may be that the parent might not be able to work. Not that they couldn't.

I suggested that OP may have thought she was currently unable to work but that being previously completely financially supported by the benefits system meant OP may need to review that stance and consider if it was solely because she couldn't 'just yet' because of the needs of the DC or that maybe it was her opinion that it wouldn't be great to start work 'just yet' or in an ideal world she wouldn't start work 'just yet' when in that ideal world which existed till this month, OP was receiving a significant amount of financial help from the state.

And still is, but less so because her eldest has turned 18.

And lots of people have posted about the people they know who actually do have severely disabled DC who do work. Which evidences the wide spectrum of families in existence.

And by the by, but I think most people were asking OP if she could adjust her stance on whether she could work 'just yet' or not and posters were jumping on those questions saying 'you don't understand what it is to be a carer of a severely disabled DC', she can't work'

And because OP gave such little information, we don't even know if her DC with complex needs is one of the two DC she shares 50/50 with their Dad.

So..asking questions shouldn't be a reason for other posters to jump on and project their own experiences and assume people are being mean or ableist.

I wasn't ever accusing OP of lying but knowing how people get whipped into outrage on these threads, which are very frequent and I was becoming involved in, I did wonder when discovering it was a new poster. That's all.

Well I know what doesn’t lie ahead of me and that’s having four kids and sleepwalking into a benefits reduction that was easily foreseeable.

Why are they vipers?

Not being mean just stating facts. I sympathise actually.

Did you miss where the op states she has a disabled child?