Page 10 | Benefits reduction

Bonsaitreepic · 2023-09-22T07:49:40+00:00

I got my UC payment today. Just checked and it’s almost £300 less than usual. This is because my oldest is now classed as an adult as he’s left ft education. He’s not currently in work. I have 3 other children but now I seemingly only get support for 2 of them due to the child cap. Im freaking out. I only get maintenance for one of the children as I have the other 2 50/50 with their dad. I cannot afford to lose this much money every month. I was already struggling as it was. I’m unable to work just yet as one of the children has complex needs. I already get some DLA for them. im quite sure there’s nothing I can do about this but I’m so worried

Stoic123 · 22/09/2023 12:07

Your son doesn't need to decide anything long term yet. Even a basic part-time job (3 x 7 hour days or 5 x 4 hours evenings a week) at minimum wage will allow him to give you £300 room/board and keep at least £400 himself (a month).

As PP have said - he shouldn't be fussy about this first job. He should expect that the work will probably be dull and repetitive and may involve unsociable hours or dealing with some difficult customers. Tell him to only worry about 3 things a) job easy to get to (not too long/ difficult journey) b) people he works with are ok/pleasant c) Pay is guaranteed to be at least minimum wage for a set hours a week (no 'commission only' jobs).

He then has more time to look at what he might want to do longer term. More structure will make him happier and more motivated. Prospective employers also prefer someone already in work so when he goes for what he really wants, he'll be in a better position.

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 12:07

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:04

You clearly have very little understanding of the needs of some DC with complex needs. As I said, for some it isn’t possible, safe, or appropriate.

I have a DC with complex needs who social care and the NHS recognise it is inappropriate for young adults, including his older sister, to care for. There are many other families in similar situations, the OP may well be the same.

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OP said she can't work 'just yet' as one of her DCs has complex needs and the youngest is still quite young.

Complex needs can mean a variety of things.

So you and the other poster can both be correct.

DisquietintheRanks · 22/09/2023 12:08

TheLightProgramme · 22/09/2023 10:45

Can you not work at all while children are at school? Even the most severely disabled children with very complex needs are at school 9-3 each day term time.

I think you'll find that severely disabled children tend to have a lot of medical appointments. And often get sick a lot. And are impossible to find childcare for during school holidays. A lot of parents with a disabled child are literally trapped on benefits and it's society to blame for that, not the individuals involved.

FijiSea · 22/09/2023 12:10

pollo8 · 22/09/2023 11:12

He gets a job ASAP – and some bloody self-respect while he's at it.

If I worked every summer from the age of 13, serving food, mopping floors, clearing tables, this presumably fit young man can get off his arse and find work.

Sick of people lacking the wit and gumption to take care of themselves. The benefits system is supposed to be there for people in dire straits, not those who just don't fancy getting up early.

This !
why hadn’t your son already been working whilst he was in education ?
I and everybody I grew up with worked part time jobs from age 15-16 in cafes / supermarkets/ offices / salons / shops to earn money to go out and go on holiday with friends.
And we all came from households where our parents worked.
It seems that your son hasn’t worked at all ? Why not ?
How is that preparing for him for life if had reached the age of 18 without even a part time job and is claiming UC?
Honestly just would never happen in any family I know due to work ethics and wanting to have a good life.

Secondwindplease · 22/09/2023 12:12

DisquietintheRanks · 22/09/2023 12:08

I think you'll find that severely disabled children tend to have a lot of medical appointments. And often get sick a lot. And are impossible to find childcare for during school holidays. A lot of parents with a disabled child are literally trapped on benefits and it's society to blame for that, not the individuals involved.

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Who is to say that the child is severely disabled? It’s possible but not inevitable. The OP says herself she’s not able to work ‘just yet’ which implies she expects to be able to at some point in the not too distant future.

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 12:12

DisquietintheRanks · 22/09/2023 12:08

I think you'll find that severely disabled children tend to have a lot of medical appointments. And often get sick a lot. And are impossible to find childcare for during school holidays. A lot of parents with a disabled child are literally trapped on benefits and it's society to blame for that, not the individuals involved.

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OP didn't say she has a seriously disabled child. She said she can't work 'just yet' as has a DC with complex needs and a DC who is still quite young.

She's given no indication she is a carer for a seriously disabled child. Or that she's not able to or will never be able to work because of caring for a seriously disabled DC.

Complex needs can mean lots of things. It doesn't mean seriously disabled child so OP can't now or ever get a job.

I wish people would read the OP.

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:12

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 12:07

OP said she can't work 'just yet' as one of her DCs has complex needs and the youngest is still quite young.

Complex needs can mean a variety of things.

So you and the other poster can both be correct.

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Yes, OP said she can’t work just yet. Therefore all those banging on about her needing to get a job now are ignorant thinking they know otherwise and should be called out.

I am well aware complex needs can mean a variety of things, but OP posted she can’t work just yet (i.e. can’t work right now), what makes others think they know better when they don’t know her circumstances and many carers cannot work.

krustykittens · 22/09/2023 12:12

OP, your son is way too indulged! He's an adult, a young and immature one, but an adult nonetheless. You are crying about paying bills while he is keeping the money for luxuries?! And he is at a crossroads?! Poor lamb - do him a favour and make him skint, it is the biggest incentive he has to sort himself out. Do NOT feel bad about it, you need that money to keep you all going. He still eses the utilities and sleeps in the house - they all need paying for!

RiderofRohan · 22/09/2023 12:13

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:04

You clearly have very little understanding of the needs of some DC with complex needs. As I said, for some it isn’t possible, safe, or appropriate.

I have a DC with complex needs who social care and the NHS recognise it is inappropriate for young adults, including his older sister, to care for. There are many other families in similar situations, the OP may well be the same.

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But you are superimposing your situation on the OPs. In the case of my brother, I was able to look after him despite him complex needs. Many siblings do. The OPs son may or may not be able to look after his sibling depending on what those complex needs are. This was a suggestion as a possible solution and never did I claim it was the definite answer. The other solution, like many have mentioned, is for the son to go to work. Moreso if he is no help at home.

Dishwashersaurous · 22/09/2023 12:14

You are currently not working because of a child with complex needs.

However, it was incredibly important for all your children to understand that those are particular circumstances and that the default normal for everyone is working.

If he is 18 then he could have had a part time job for years, which would have been normal.

A dangerous risk of not working, for very good reasons, is that it creates a culture of worklessness. You and he need to ensure that risk doesn't materialise.

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:15

RiderofRohan · 22/09/2023 12:13

But you are superimposing your situation on the OPs. In the case of my brother, I was able to look after him despite him complex needs. Many siblings do. The OPs son may or may not be able to look after his sibling depending on what those complex needs are. This was a suggestion as a possible solution and never did I claim it was the definite answer. The other solution, like many have mentioned, is for the son to go to work. Moreso if he is no help at home.

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No, I’m not. I am pointing out it is ignorant of you to think you know the OP can work when she has posted she cannot right now. I only mentioned my experience in response to you saying there are 18 year old carers.

Throwncrumbs · 22/09/2023 12:16

Dishwashersaurous · 22/09/2023 11:33

The most important thing you can do for your son is help him understand that without work there is no income.

That he can not work but then he will have no income.

If he finished school in June, what has he been doing for three months

In order to receive Uc he needs to do 35 hours of work search a week..plus there is vast amounts of special support, training, help.with cv etc for young unemployed people.

How had he not got anything, even a few hours a month yet.

He needs to understand that he must get job,

If he’s not doing the 35 hours of looking for work, what’s going to happen when he’s sanctioned and his UC is stopped…another thread on how unfair it all is … Struth!

Gerrataere · 22/09/2023 12:17

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 12:12

OP didn't say she has a seriously disabled child. She said she can't work 'just yet' as has a DC with complex needs and a DC who is still quite young.

She's given no indication she is a carer for a seriously disabled child. Or that she's not able to or will never be able to work because of caring for a seriously disabled DC.

Complex needs can mean lots of things. It doesn't mean seriously disabled child so OP can't now or ever get a job.

I wish people would read the OP.

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The op has said she doesn’t claim carers due to it not being an additional benefit (as I said it’s taken from uc £1 for £1 so understandable). But it does mean that she’s entitled to it, which means her child is entitled to at least middle rate if not high rate care DLA. Which means the child has significant day and/or nighttime needs. Which would suggest that the child’s ‘complex needs’ are unsustainable for typical working hours at the moment.

So the op getting a job in the immediate future is quite irrelevant to the thread, the focus should be on the son and the fact he needs to contribute more.

Document · 22/09/2023 12:17

JessieJoJames · 22/09/2023 11:46

Honestly, I had a job from 16 in the local supermarket then a factory, then retail whilst at uni. Pretty much everyone in my class did - Costa, shops, hotels etc.

Same now - most kids have a job at school and at uni. I am not sure where you live but I find it so hard to believe you could not find a job in 7 years. At Christmas everyone is looking for temp staff.

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My son is at university in a big city. He tried so hard to find a job in his first year. Nobody was hiring. I then looked at his cover letter and CV which were fine. He tailored them to bar work and shop work separately. He visited shops, cafes and bars in person. Was glued to indeed.com. Added his name to events recruitment agencies.

He simply was not hired. He is pretty ‘normal’, bright and articulate. Everyone said they had enough staff. He then looked into the numbers applying and the average number of people going for jobs on indeed was 500-700 for each role. Of course they preferred people with relevant experience. Even for bottle-washers.

Anyway he eventually found a job at the end of the summer here in our home town. But will have to start the search again when he returns to university. He is already applying. Already had rejections from Hollister and WHSmith.

We are lucky in that he doesn’t ‘need’ to work. But we have always wanted him to for the experience and to value money.

I have heard the same from friends with kids the same age. Unless you have a ‘contact’ it’s not quite as easy to get casual work as we are led to believe.

Just giving the ‘other side’.

Everanewbie · 22/09/2023 12:17

Whether or not OP can/cannot, could/couldn't work, he has been brought up in a household where no one works, in all likelihood, not OPs fault, but still. So it sounds to me like OP and 18yo have fallen into the trap of thinking work is somehow optional, and that the system will pay for choices made rather than necessities being dealt with. That isn't the social contract with taxpayers OP.

You need to instill quickly, and make up for lost time, that worklessness hasn't been a choice for you, but a necessity due to the siblings needs. It isn't a choice for him or the normal state of affairs. Full time work and paying your way is the normal state of affairs, and now he is of age and has left education he must take part.

Chances are, even after paying you he'll have more disposable income than most of the population. There is a certain pride and satisfaction after working all week and buying a pint on a friday night, and being a giver not a taker given that he is able.

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 12:20

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:12

Yes, OP said she can’t work just yet. Therefore all those banging on about her needing to get a job now are ignorant thinking they know otherwise and should be called out.

I am well aware complex needs can mean a variety of things, but OP posted she can’t work just yet (i.e. can’t work right now), what makes others think they know better when they don’t know her circumstances and many carers cannot work.

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They don't.

But could also mean that OP thinking she can't work 'just yet' wasn't solely based on the needs of the child but OPs opinion or 'in an ideal world' as she was managing financially till her eldest turned 18.

And OP may now need to reassess the situation.

'Cannot work' and would prefer not to right now because of x, y or z reasons are different things.

Dishwashersaurous · 22/09/2023 12:21

But the son isn't looking for casual work around uni.

He could literally do any job at all.

He also has all the dedicated job centre resources, of which there are many, to help him get a job.

He could do anything

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:22

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 12:12

OP didn't say she has a seriously disabled child. She said she can't work 'just yet' as has a DC with complex needs and a DC who is still quite young.

She's given no indication she is a carer for a seriously disabled child. Or that she's not able to or will never be able to work because of caring for a seriously disabled DC.

Complex needs can mean lots of things. It doesn't mean seriously disabled child so OP can't now or ever get a job.

I wish people would read the OP.

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Complex needs means exactly that. She has a disabled child in receipt of DLA who has complex needs. Said child clearly has needs significant enough (at MRC or HRC DLA) that she could claim carer’s allowance as she said she doesn’t claim it as she wouldn’t receive any more money (as it is taken £ for £). Even the government recognise someone providing this level of care may not be able to work and therefore don’t give them work commitments. It is ignorant of people to think OP can work right now when she has posted she is unable to.

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:23

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 12:20

They don't.

But could also mean that OP thinking she can't work 'just yet' wasn't solely based on the needs of the child but OPs opinion or 'in an ideal world' as she was managing financially till her eldest turned 18.

And OP may now need to reassess the situation.

'Cannot work' and would prefer not to right now because of x, y or z reasons are different things.

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Yes, and unable to work means exactly that. Unable to. Not would prefer not to.

If OP says she is unable to work right now, people should listen rather than be ignorant enough to think they know better.

beeswaxinc · 22/09/2023 12:24

If he is looking for work and nothing in his circumstances have changed in terms of living arrangement, then tbh he might have to accept that the £250 he is claiming should really go to you so a status quo is maintained.

When he gets a job he can pay board or move out.

I'm so sorry though, it sounds as though as you are really struggling and this time of year with back to school, colder weather an Christmas approaching is a really shit time to be losing out on money xx

AliOlis · 22/09/2023 12:25

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:23

Yes, and unable to work means exactly that. Unable to. Not would prefer not to.

If OP says she is unable to work right now, people should listen rather than be ignorant enough to think they know better.

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Her son presumably has no barriers to work?

RiderofRohan · 22/09/2023 12:25

OvertakenByLego · 22/09/2023 12:15

No, I’m not. I am pointing out it is ignorant of you to think you know the OP can work when she has posted she cannot right now. I only mentioned my experience in response to you saying there are 18 year old carers.

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Honestly I think it is ignorant of you to not know that many young people care for others with complex needs. Not sure what you consider an appropriate age, but this isn't the reality for many. Some families don't have a choice.

DiaNaranja · 22/09/2023 12:26

Me and my DH work full time in good careers with two children, we don't receive any benefits. After the mortgage, bills, food shops, and everything else is paid for, we'd be lucky to have £200 left at the end of the month. Your son is taking the piss. He doesn't NEED £200 a month as you're.covering all his living costs! That money needs to be paying for the roof over his head, the shopping, the heating, and everything else he obviously thinks just falls for free out of the sky. Once he gets a job and is earning a normal amount, paying you £200 a month to house and feed him, will seem like a drop in the ocean, not your problem the amount you need from him is a large percentage of what's he's recieving. If he gets a job, that won't be an issue. Make him WANT to work op.

cornflower21 · 22/09/2023 12:26

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we've removed their threads and posts.

Well clearly not everyone...

redskytonights · 22/09/2023 12:27

I have heard the same from friends with kids the same age. Unless you have a ‘contact’ it’s not quite as easy to get casual work as we are led to believe.

Whereas our experience is that every single sixth form student that wants one has found evening or weekends work. DD (17) was also able to pick up a large number of extra shifts over the summer.

Unless OP lives somewhere very rural where there is literally not much about, it seems very unlikely that her DS who can be as entirely flexible as he wants, wouldn't be able to find something.