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Original poster

Is my child the only child who doesn't do any activities

77 replies

Gemma273 · 21/09/2023 21:05

Just that really. DC (4) does no activities, I ask regularly.. "would you like to go to swimming lessons, gymnastics, dancing, football?" etc etc. I've given lots of options and just not interested, is extremely "shy" (hate using that word), and always wary of new situations but I just feel guilty DC doesn't do any hobbies, goes to nursery and interacts well with children there so no concerns with that.

I just accept the answer but I often wonder should I almost "force" the issue to put out of comfort zone as I know they would enjoy once over the initial joining stage or should I continue to just leave it.

OP posts:
gogomoto · 21/09/2023 22:20

Nursery is enough at 4. Even swimming lessons are better if you wait a bit (but do go recreational swimming so they are water confident) my dd learned to swim 50m in just a few weeks at 7 rather than the years I hear about when they start younger

bellsbuss · 21/09/2023 22:21

Swimming was never optional for my children , I booked their lessons and they went even when they didn't want to. Other clubs if they didn't enjoy them and gave it a good try then I was happy for them to give it up.

cadburyegg · 21/09/2023 22:23

My 8yo used to do beavers but didn't want to continue to cubs so he just does swimming now. I've asked him every time a club comes up that I think he'd be interested in - he doesn't want to do anything. I've said to him that he has to continue swimming for now until he finds another interest!

My 5yo does squirrels and swimming but doesn't want to do much else.

Tbf I'm not too bothered as I work almost full time and fitting everything in is tricky already.

ActDottie · 21/09/2023 22:26

swimminglessonadvice · 21/09/2023 21:08

You could start swimming, no point asking the child you just take them.

This. Swimming is a life skill and 4 is about the right age to start.

Nevermind31 · 21/09/2023 22:26

The only one I consider important at this age is swimming

Ididivfama · 21/09/2023 22:27

Gosh 4 years old is so young!! You don’t exactly want your weekends taken up with planned classes. I agree that swimming is a good one and nice way to bond on the weekend.

Ididivfama · 21/09/2023 22:28

dearanon · 21/09/2023 21:25

Dd4 does 4 clubs, soon to be 5 clubs a week.

Do they not do at least one club?

How on earth do you have the time? Are they not at nursery or school?

Ididivfama · 21/09/2023 22:31

Gemma273 · 21/09/2023 21:48

Thanks for all the replies, we most certainly do plenty of activities but I'm always there but I feel that forcing the issue would be detrimental to an already anxious child. We go swimming weekly on a Friday and sometimes on a Sunday too so very confident in the water and can swim without armbands so that's not an issue.

No, just recently turned 4 and we are in Scotland. Children begin nursery (ante- pre year) the term after their 3rd birthday and their pre school year when they are 4 and generally start school at 5 here (some children are still 4.5)

Then I think you’re doing enough. Some of the replies on here are ridiculous. You know your child and don’t want them overly anxious and exhausted. Most of us don’t want to do paid specific activities as well as work and general socialising. Just let her be. These kids get exhausted.

MooseBreath · 21/09/2023 22:31

Another instance of non-negotiable swimming here. DS is 3, so he does swimming and dance (purely because it is free as I teach for the studio). He is welcome to drop dance down the line if he doesn't like it and can either replace it with something else or not. Depending where we live in the next few years, we will sign him up for either football or ice hockey, as we want to encourage physical activity.

SallyWD · 21/09/2023 22:37

Oh don't pressurise a shy 4 year old! Let her be. Maybe when she's older she'll want to do more but now she's just a baby.

vibecheck · 21/09/2023 22:48

Has no one read the OP’s update that the child can swim?!

noscoobydoodle · 21/09/2023 22:53

My youngest is 3 and goes to nursery and then swims on a Saturday morning (no weekday activities). That seems to be quite normal among his nursery friends, although there is the odd one or two with a packed schedule (often his girl friends). My older girls really only started outside of school activities (except swimming) in Yr3/age 7ish. They had a bit more stamina by then and also a better idea of what they would like to try.

Canyoucheckonme · 21/09/2023 22:56

My two didn't want to do anything until they were aged 8 and 11. A year on and they do a couple of sports in the evenings and weekends. They're expensive and a pain in the arse so I'm glad I relaxed and waited for them to be ready all those years! 😂

Be child-led...

Canyoucheckonme · 21/09/2023 22:59

Oh, I took ds1 to swimming lessons after school when he was in Yr1 and he didn't enjoy them and the toddler hated being dragged along even more.

We taught them the basics ourselves, and now ds2 (9) is having free swimming lessons at school as in England there's a new initiative where all kids should be able to swim 25m unaided by the time they leave primary school. So we've saved a fortune by not dragging him to expensive lessons over the years, and he's loving learning with his peers!

SleepingStandingUp · 21/09/2023 23:00

He's still in nursery, that's tiny still and a lot for them to get on with.

DS has done gymnastics, dance, a few other bits. But not until year 1. He now just does Beavers on yr4 and that's enough for him. We do stuff at the weekend. The twins are 3 Dec, in Nursery. I'm contemplating Squirrels for Jan but only because I'm already involved with them for DS

Coldaroo · 21/09/2023 23:21

@YouveGotAFastCar
"My DS is nearly 2 so a fair bit younger; but he'd have no idea if I asked if he wanted to do something. At the moment he does a STEM class, football and swimming lessons, and then forest school-type things and playgroups. He'd probably have said no to all of them if I'd asked 😅"

Sorry if I misunderstand but do you mean STEM as in science-technology-engineering-maths? I cannot imagine what that would be for a 2 year old? Especially as you are saying he wouldn't have an idea about it if you asked him? Apologies if I got the complete wrong end of the stick

MrsMarzetti · 21/09/2023 23:22

She is only 4, why can't she just stay at home and play with her toys ?

larlypops · 21/09/2023 23:26

We have a family gym membership one does multiple classes, swimming, plus dancing on the weekend and eldest does football at the gym as and when and swimming twice a week.
they’re older so no longer do lessons but like a splash about after school, I think at that age they only did swimming lessons and my daughter did her Saturday dance

sillyuniforms · 21/09/2023 23:28

No point asking a 4 year old if they are interested in something. They have never been. Just take th

laopre · 21/09/2023 23:38

My dc is 5 and just started Year 1. In reception year last year about half of the 4 year olds did no activities, many of them are tired once they start school.

My dc has loads of energy though so she has been doing activities since she was a toddler. I don't think I've ever really asked her if she'd like to do some of the activities, I just booked her into them and she's always enjoyed them. I choose things that align with the things she likes doing in general, e.g dance because she likes dancing at home, or gymnastics because she likes swinging and climbing. Most classes have a trial session, so why not just book one to see how she responds. She might not really be able to imagine what happens in a dance/football/gymnastics class if she's never been.

We don't do any activities on a weekend though, it's important for us to spend time together as a family, and be able to do fun day trips, so that's why we've chosen to do most of our activities after school.

TheScenicWay · 21/09/2023 23:39

Mine never did at 4. Now between them as teenagers, they've done swimming, football, gymnastics, horse riding, ice skating lessons, played a variety of musical instruments, volunteering and paid jobs.

Plenty of time.

Flyhigher · 21/09/2023 23:46

Don't ask. Take them to try things. Maybe with a good friend from nursery/ school. If you let them dictate too much on trying new things now it will only get worse. Try to open up their world now x

Samee20 · 27/09/2023 11:22

@Gemma273 I don't think shy kids doesn't like to do different activities, my child will be considered shy only with adults, not with kids though and yet she loved different activities outside school. She did Ballet, Drama and swimming, never cried even on the first day and was never clingy. She is 5 now and in a private school where swimming is mandatory, the only thing she doesn't like about swimming is when they ask her to jump. She is even learning basics of a different language in school at this age and is excited and I believe my girl is shy with adults but yet it doesn't stop her doing different activities.
Your child is only 4 and it will be easier if make her join different activities to see where her interest is, younger children are much more adaptable and it is beneficial for them.

Schoolzie101 · 27/04/2024 11:39

My 6 year old currently does Beavers and swimming but am wondering whether to stop these

Universalsnail · 27/04/2024 11:47

Swimming is non negotiable here. It's an important life school.

At 4 though if she hasn't shown interest in any other activities I wouldn't push it.