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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take dog into supermarket

212 replies

amechange · 20/09/2023 20:47

I can't get supermarket deliveries. I am autistic, I am disabled because of it, and stress/anxiety causes me to do self destructive stims and behaviours, brings on disassociation, paranoia, sleep issues, suicidal ideation etc and I have agoraphobia as well. I have only ever been a few minutes away from home up till today when I pushed myself to go to the supermarket, I didn't go in. If I couldn't take my dog, I wouldn't have left the house. She is a tiny chihuahua. She is well behaved, she understands commands, but she isn't registered as anything, but she pretty much is a service dog. Even though she wasnt specifically trained to do a specific task to calm my anxiety down, having her there with me reduces my anxiety a lot compared to if I didn't have her. And at home when I feel anxious, she comes and sits by me/lets me hold her. I'm now in a position where I have to go in there to do my weekly shopping. She has a dog pram that closes all around, it was expensive and looks like a babies pram but isn't, its the ibiyaya retro luxe pram. She wouldn't be a danger to anyone/bother anyone/contaminate anything/get in the way, no one will notice it's a dog, I wont be showing her off/taking her out to show people if I took her in.

OP posts:
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5
parietal · 20/09/2023 21:56

if your dog is in the dog-carrier, how can it offer you any comfort?

TheSquareMile · 20/09/2023 21:57

Why can't you have supermarket deliveries to your address? Is it because you live in a very rural area to which none deliver?

I'm wondering, given your circumstances, whether it would be worth ringing the Duty Social Worker, Adult Social Services, for your local borough, to ask whether something like a weekly visit from an Autism Support Worker might be possible for you.

D1nopawus · 20/09/2023 21:58

I'm sorry you are anxious, but please don't put other disabled people who have trained service dogs at risk.

Could someone else go with you and support you?

Christmasusernamepending · 20/09/2023 21:58

Maybe set up a baby camera to see your dog while you are out.

DelightfullyDotty · 20/09/2023 22:02

I don’t see why it’s unreasonable if she’s in a pram. You don’t have to ask for permission on here OP but if that’s what you want, as a fellow autistic I give you permission. What if she barks though?

ticktock19 · 20/09/2023 22:08

I think the home delivery suggestions are the most sensible but there is a specific autism support dogs charity which you could contact for advice.

www.autismdogs.co.uk/

NeedTheSeaside · 20/09/2023 22:09

@amechange

A chihuahua in a dog buggy isn't going to do any harm.

unless he's a barker, I doubt anyone will pay any attention to him.

All the hand wringers could volunteer to help people in your situation & if they knew about all the wildlife in trollies and in the warehouses they'd soon realise a dog in the supermarket is the least of their worries!!

look after yourself

Ollybob · 20/09/2023 22:10

Honestly I think she'd be fine in an enclosed pet pram. You won't be able to cuddle her though.
My worry is that even if you ask and get permission beforehand there could be another member of staff/security/management who won't agree another day, which could well be more stressful.

Litmus1001 · 20/09/2023 22:10

DelightfullyDotty · 20/09/2023 22:02

I don’t see why it’s unreasonable if she’s in a pram. You don’t have to ask for permission on here OP but if that’s what you want, as a fellow autistic I give you permission. What if she barks though?

It is unreasonable to break the rules and take a non-service dog in a shop where only service dogs are allowed though. Many rules are there for a reason, even if we don't like them.

Jeannie88 · 20/09/2023 22:13

When I was away with my little dog I put her into her kennel bag in trolley. Lots of aw how cute, no problems, even the cashiers smiled and petted her. X

Jeannie88 · 20/09/2023 22:15

Also to ease your anxiety click and collect? They will help you if you put in notes section xx

gogomoto · 20/09/2023 22:15

At our supermarket you can click and collect from the car park, is this an option?

HowDoesThisWorkPlease · 20/09/2023 22:19

OP I mean this kindly but you need to look at alternatives as your pet is not a service dog so should not be in a supermarket. Service gifs are highly trained.

There was a lady a while ago, may hsbr ever been here, describing that her daughter has such s severe fib allergy that they cannot visit a shop/venue if s service dog is present as her life is at risk.

Litmus1001 · 20/09/2023 22:21

Jeannie88 · 20/09/2023 22:13

When I was away with my little dog I put her into her kennel bag in trolley. Lots of aw how cute, no problems, even the cashiers smiled and petted her. X

It went well that time, but please do not assume you can do this in any shop. If a sign says 'no dogs except service dogs' then you must respect it.

Litmus1001 · 20/09/2023 22:25

DelightfullyDotty · 20/09/2023 22:02

I don’t see why it’s unreasonable if she’s in a pram. You don’t have to ask for permission on here OP but if that’s what you want, as a fellow autistic I give you permission. What if she barks though?

With all due respect, being autistic doesn't give you any more right to break rules regarding dogs being allowed in shops. I would suggest that OP looks into other ways of getting shopping/other possible support.

ABC123DoReMiDoeRayMe · 20/09/2023 22:29

Please don't.

zurala · 20/09/2023 22:30

I'm autistic and I think you would be very unreasonable if you took the dog into the supermarket. I know how awful anxiety is, please speak to your GP and get some help with it.

Spanne · 20/09/2023 22:31

According to mm dogs are absolutely everywhere already, so I see no harm in one more.

Litmus1001 · 20/09/2023 22:31

Spanne · 20/09/2023 22:31

According to mm dogs are absolutely everywhere already, so I see no harm in one more.

Again, as already stated to several posters, it's not your decision to make.

HauntingSecrets · 20/09/2023 22:33

Is there someone that could call the supermarket and ask? I used to take my dog into our small local Co-Op with permission if it was too hot to leave him in the car, they were fine as long as I carried him.

(He came to work with me so would be in the car on the way home)

Litmus1001 · 20/09/2023 22:36

HauntingSecrets · 20/09/2023 22:33

Is there someone that could call the supermarket and ask? I used to take my dog into our small local Co-Op with permission if it was too hot to leave him in the car, they were fine as long as I carried him.

(He came to work with me so would be in the car on the way home)

If the rules already state no dogs, then please don't ask shop staff to break them (and potentially risk the safety/wellbeing of other customers).

Crazycrazylady · 20/09/2023 22:37

Honestly no it's not ok for you to bring your dog into a space where people buy fresh food. Order from Amazon or do click and collect .

Mble · 20/09/2023 22:38

I think you could be confronted about it and that would be extremely stressful. I don’t find supermarkets at all problematic but I would find bringing a dog into one very stressful. I think you are potentially creating a bigger problem. Maybe there are other things you could do. A friend of mine has found out the quietest times at his local supermarket and he goes then.

namestevalian · 20/09/2023 22:38

But her in a handbag .

Everyone carrys small dogs or has them in bags in shops near me

Clymene · 20/09/2023 22:39

How have you eaten up until this very moment?

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