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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To use ChatGPT to write a eulogy

60 replies

Eastie77Returns · 20/09/2023 19:49

I’m attending the funeral of a family member who was a very difficult person and had alienated most of the family. I have another thread about the difficulties we have encountered trying to comply with their funeral wishes. I have been asked to deliver the eulogy as no-one else wants to do it.

I found it tricky to write so I put a prompt in ChatGPT and 20 seconds later had a perfectly written eulogy. Tweaked it a bit and now it’s done.

Family members think it’s not very nice to read something AI generated but since none of them are helping me here, I really don’t see the harm in just making something up. Ok it’s all BS and drivel with bits about the deceased’s kindness, humour etc but surely bettor than nothing or the truth about their often unpleasant personality?!

OP posts:
Changedmymind99 · 20/09/2023 19:52

Don’t tell anyone. Say you did it yourself.

for those who know, say you rewrote it.

Chat GPT usage knowledge should be kept to a minimum. 🤐

Thosesummernights · 20/09/2023 19:53

I’ve done it. It helped pull my thoughts together at a difficult time. I didn’t tell anyone I used it.

Eastie77Returns · 20/09/2023 19:54

I already told the immediate family. I had to send the final text and everyone was puzzled “why would you describe X as funny, lighthearted etc” and I explained it was from ChatGPT

OP posts:
CantFindTheBeat · 20/09/2023 19:54

Why did you tell them?

BertieBotts · 20/09/2023 19:56

Just get ChatGPT to write another one and say you wrote it. If they say "It's far too nice" just say "It's a funeral you're supposed to say nice things"

Eastie77Returns · 20/09/2023 19:56

CantFindTheBeat · 20/09/2023 19:54

Why did you tell them?

As explained, they questioned what was written so I said I didn’t actually write it.

I did ask if anyone wanted to replace anything they were welcome to add their own text and no-one did.

All I’ve had had is complaints that it’s not authentic.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 20/09/2023 19:57

Oh sorry does final text mean it's already gone in? Well never mind. I don't think it's that different using ChatGPT than using something from the little book of suggested readings they give you.

MaggieFS · 20/09/2023 19:57

Give them three choices:

  1. It gets used
  2. They write it for you to deliver
  3. You pull out of doing anything

I tend to discount opinions from people who are all talk but not actually willing to pitch in.

Screamingabdabz · 20/09/2023 20:00

I think it would silly to say untruths about someone being kind and funny if they were patently not. Could you not replace some of the words with more honest equivalents?

HereForTheFreeLunch · 20/09/2023 20:20

Give the feedback to chatgpt and get it to rewrite it.
After a few revisions it should look different.
Then tweak it a bit personally and send it out. Say you wrote it this time.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 20/09/2023 20:20

Ask chatgpt to write a euphomistic eulogy for someone who had whatever traits your relative had. It will find a nice way of saying they were a cantankerous git.

When my aunt, who was total bitch, died, none of us would do the eulogy so the priest did it. It was bland and generic with a few facts about her life.

CantFindTheBeat · 20/09/2023 20:20

Well basically, you were given a template that you adapted.

That's all you need to say.

Cyllie33 · 20/09/2023 20:22

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong in using chat gpt but it is a bit weird if it’s not what you actually think. I don’t think I could read words I didn’t agree with. Can you ask chat gpt and then tweak to do something you’re happy with? If not then I’d hand over the eulogy to someone else!

TeenDivided · 20/09/2023 20:27

I think it is a bit off to say things you know weren't true.

At my uncles funeral the vicar said something like 'there are some parishioners I look forward to visiting, but X wasn't one of them' or words to that effect.

Cherryana · 20/09/2023 20:30

YANBU

Chat gtp is a tool.

It still needs your guidance and input to be personal and most effective.

However I have found by experience other people’s perceptions can be very old fashioned and often, they have never used it.

You are an early adopter of this technology - other people are going to take more time to get onboard. Next time don’t tell them - but don’t stop using it!

HeckyPeck · 20/09/2023 20:31

I wouldn't want complete lies in an eulogy.

There might be polite ways to word thing. Selfish could become 'she was a lady who knew what she wanted in life and wasn't afraid to go for it'. Lazy could become 'he knew how to take each day as it comes and not worry about the small stuff' etc etc

Ask chatgtb for polite ways of saying whatever they really were.

QuickDraining · 20/09/2023 20:35

My favourite one was Data delivering 'his' own Eulogy. It has everything. And I can't get it out of my head for any and every funeral I go to.

Data's Funeral Eulogy

Data gives an exaggerated speech about the life of Ira Graves -- one of the funniest scenes of Data.This is from the TNG episode »The Schizoid Man«.PICARD: »...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qlb181Z0eFY

Wallywobbles · 20/09/2023 20:38

AI is (one of my things) and I put someone's OP into ChatGPT for an eulogy and it did a really decent one. Same as the OP here it wasn't a very nice person and it created a perfectly pitched truthful piece.

Wallywobbles · 20/09/2023 20:43

And here it is;

Ladies and gentlemen,

We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of a woman who was strong, vibrant, and bold. She was a force of nature, someone who was unapologetically herself, and who, in her own unique way, touched the lives of all those who knew her. Today, we honor my mother and remember the woman who had a profound impact on our lives.

My mother was a woman who enjoyed the finer things in life. She had a deep appreciation for beauty, whether it was in the form of her carefully curated home or her love of shopping. She was always on the lookout for the perfect item to add to her collection, and her passion for interior design made her home a place that stood out from the rest.

She was a woman who knew what she wanted and was not afraid to go after it. Her love for her sisters was unmatched, and their bond was a testament to the power of sisterhood. My mother had a remarkable ability to make her presence felt, and her sisters were her truest companions.

In her own way, my mother was a gifted artist. Her natural talent and keen eye for detail were evident in her work, and she had the potential to be a master craftsman. But it was her love for the simple things, like gardening, that brought out the best in her. She loved the challenge of cultivating the perfect garden, and she took great pride in her ability to outdo me in our friendly competitions.

My mother's love for animals was evident in her fondness for puppies. She found joy in their playful energy and the attention they garnered from others. Her love for animals was a reminder of the simple pleasures in life.

No one is perfect, and my mother was no exception. She had her flaws, but she also had her strengths. She was a woman who knew how to make her mark on the world, and she did so with courage and determination. As we remember her life today, let us also remember the indomitable spirit that she possessed, and the impact she had on all those who knew her.

In her memory, I would like to share a reading that I believe captures her essence:

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die."

In closing, let us celebrate my mother's life, remembering her for the vibrant, passionate, and unforgettable woman she was. May her memory live on in our hearts and inspire us to embrace life with the same fearless spirit she embodied.

Startstruck · 20/09/2023 20:44

Dh's eulogy was beautiful. It was written and delivered by a celebrant after he spent 30 mins with me asking a few stock questions. I don't know how he did it, but he appeared to deliver a wonderfully personal speech about someone he'd never met and with very little information from me. If you've achieved the same thing using AI, go for it.

Eastie77Returns · 20/09/2023 20:44

I honestly don’t feel fussed about telling lies about this person. The eulogy is actually pretty bland with a few pleasantries thrown in. I have tweaked it in several places.

I’m certainly not going to stand up in front of people and tell the truth about what an unpleasant, vindictive individual the deceased was. Their young grandchildren will be present and they don’t need to hear that!

I think ChatGPT has done us (the family) a favour plus no-one is stepping up with an alternative!

OP posts:
Marmunia10667 · 20/09/2023 20:48

It's robotic and souless. I would be horrified.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 20/09/2023 21:01

Marmunia10667 · 20/09/2023 20:48

It's robotic and souless. I would be horrified.

It's no different to going through the newspaper to see what other people have written in eulogies and using that.

Tenashelflife · 20/09/2023 21:13

Everyone uses chat GTP for everything nowadays and then just adapts it. It's fine.

JaneIntheBox · 20/09/2023 21:16

YANBU OP!
Even before ChatGPT most people cobble something together from templates. ChatGPT basically automates that process.