To use ChatGPT to write a eulogy

[Eastie77Returns]

I’m attending the funeral of a family member who was a very difficult person and had alienated most of the family. I have another thread about the difficulties we have encountered trying to comply with their funeral wishes. I have been asked to deliver the eulogy as no-one else wants to do it.

I found it tricky to write so I put a prompt in ChatGPT and 20 seconds later had a perfectly written eulogy. Tweaked it a bit and now it’s done.

Family members think it’s not very nice to read something AI generated but since none of them are helping me here, I really don’t see the harm in just making something up. Ok it’s all BS and drivel with bits about the deceased’s kindness, humour etc but surely bettor than nothing or the truth about their often unpleasant personality?!

ChatGPT is really obvious for anyone who uses it, even after tweaks most of the time. I'd be more concerned about what that implies...

But I'd not read anything that was incorrect. It's fair enough to not say anything horrible, or point out any negatives; but I also wouldn't lie. Don't call them funny or lighthearted if those things aren't true. If your family have picked up on those things not being accurate, chances are that others will too; including their young family members.

I was going to say YANBU but I agree with your family members about it not being authentic.

If you were to put into chat gpt some true-isms about the person about what they were like, what difficulties they had - where they were born, things they were proud of etc it would probably write you a very sympathetic sensitive eulogy so just give it a couple of different prompts and try again

It is. But so are most templated things, which involve standard wording and a recitation of personal characteristics.
It's easy to write an 'original' speech by using personal anecdotes for the majority of it and some templated intros and exits.

When you really have nothing to say I think a template works best, the alternative ends up cringy very quickly.

@MotherEarthisaTerf I presume that's what OP meant by 'tweaked'.

Well ok, I put in the deceased person’s true, deeply unpleasant personality trait and asked ChatGPT for another eulogy and here it is.

“Today, we gather to remember [Name], a person whose life was marked by complexity. While [Name] may have had their moments of struggle and conflict, we choose to focus on the broader spectrum of their existence.
In their own unique way, [Name] taught us important lessons about human nature. They challenged us to find patience and compassion when faced with adversity. [Name] showed us the significance of forgiveness, for in forgiving them, we found strength and growth.
Although [Name]'s path was often marred by discord, we choose to remember the moments of vulnerability and kindness that they occasionally shared. It reminds us that beneath the facade of bitterness, there was a person with their own set of struggles and pain.
In this time of reflection, let us use [Name]'s life as a reminder that we all have our flaws and imperfections, and it is our duty to strive for growth and redemption. Let us remember [Name] not only for their faults but as a testament to the enduring human capacity for change and transformation."

I think it's too harsh. Sorry. You have to remember that other people in the room may feel differently, and you are representing everyone in some ways. I'd refer to the complexity and struggle, but not repeat it or overdo it. Say some stuff she liked to do, for instance.

That's flipping hilarious! Send that to your relatives and see what they think.

That's clearly a diss OP!
Personally I think a bland eulogy with the standard nice things, a bit like a Bayliss and Harding Gift Set is more damning than having a 'flowery' but 'trying hard to be positive' one like this.
What makes speeches touching is personal stories... 'tell them about a time when'..
If you have no memories, your own memories/impressions to share that's far more telling of how unpleasant they were.

Ladies and gentlemen,
We gather here today to remember and reflect upon the life of [Name], who has passed away. While it is never easy to say goodbye, we must acknowledge the inevitable passage of time and the cycles of life.
[Name] was a person who lived, and now we remember that life. They were born on [Date of Birth] and passed away on [Date of Passing]. In the span of their existence, they experienced the joys and challenges that come with being human.
During their time on this Earth, [Name] interacted with family, friends, and acquaintances. Some of these interactions were positive, while others may have been less so. [Name] was an individual with their own unique personality, interests, and quirks.
They lived in [Place of Residence] for most of their life and worked in various jobs throughout their career. [Name] had hobbies and pastimes that they enjoyed, such as [Hobby/Interest]. They may have also been a member of [Community or Social Group], where they participated in [Activity/Role].
In their later years, [Name] faced health challenges that eventually led to their passing. These challenges were met with the support and care of their loved ones, for which we are grateful.
In conclusion, we remember [Name] today as a person who lived, experienced life, and left their mark on the world in their own way. While their life may have been unremarkable to some, it was meaningful to those who knew them best.
As we bid farewell to [Name], let us take a moment to appreciate the simple fact of their existence and the impact they had, however small, on the lives of those around them. May they rest in peace.
Thank you for joining us in this moment of reflection.

This is much better IMO. And there's very little about kindness/humour just facts that are neutral. Apart from some bits about 'support and care' but nothing too sweet.

I asked ChatGPt for a 'bland eulogy'.

I think it would be better to say nothing than to say that?

Can't you just talk about their relationship with their grandchildren, was that good? It doesn't need to be about you and the family.

That second one would definitely get some reactions!

If I couldn't find anything vaguely positive to say (no judgement here as some people don't have any positive traits), I'd just not do a eulogy and get the funeral director to do one. You could always do a generic reading if you want to, but also don't do that if you don't want to.

I think ChatGPT has done us (the family) a favour plus no-one is stepping up with an alternative!

If nobody has anything to say, why waste the time by filling it with meaningless fakery generated by a program?

yet if given the true person personality would the response be omg you cannot use that etc ?

Yes exactly that. No-one would want to hear me describe the deceased’s true personality and vile behaviour as it would be wildly inappropriate!

I’ve removed all the untrue positives from the GPT eulogy and just made it biographical (x was born in blah blah, worked at blah blah). It sounds vanilla and is only about 2 mins long so think I’ll just stick a poem onto the end😭

Exactly this. For people who seemingly didn't want anything to do with it, they sure have a lot to say about it.

As long as you tweaked it and it’s accurate, I don’t really see the issue.

Not if it’s not true no. It took me 5 days to write my dad’s Eulogy. Even if someone who was difficult just talk about their life.

You could talk about how much they reminded you of (insert moaning family members)

Sounds perfect. Perhaps there is a side hustle there too in the making 🤫

Does there need to be a eulogy?

I think this might be a case where less is more.

It's a shame the eulogy doesn't come after the wake. If there is one. Heck my Mum couldn't even afford a funeral. Just did a direct cremation and skipped any get together for my Dad. Partly as she was so ruined. It's hard finding words when you are upset. Couldn't even face seeing people. I'm envious of cultures that really make a meal of it. I've found wakes pretty cathartic. And most people have something interesting in their lives to talk about. Even the outwardly hostile might be charming in other ways, to other people, or their pets.

The opening lines of this sketch might be useful. Start at about 08.56. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/b088fg48

Exactly, what is the point of saying untrue things about someone simply for the sake of it?

Being dead isn't a reason to ignore the fact that a person wasn't a nice individual

Better nothing than platitudes however they are generated

As an aside @Tenashelflife I'm rather pleased to be obviously the only person who doesn't use chatgpt for everything or in fact anything, where do I collect my 🏅😀

So why does anyone in the family have to do a Eulogy? Why do you, just because no-one else has?

Families delivering the eulogy have been the exception rather than the rule at the funerals I've been to, usually because most people have been too upset to stand up and say anything.

They've always been delivered by the celebrant. They probably have a set of templates similar to what @Wallywobbles or @JaneIntheBox posted and then filled in the blanks/set the tone based on chats with the family when the funeral was being arranged.

Of course they don't, don't be ridiculous. Half the country has probably never even heard of it and half of the other half probably wouldn't know where to start, or think it would be more trouble than it's worth, given the rubbish it tends to generate.