To not go to this Christening?

[HolidaysMakeMeHappy]

Family member lives 2 hours away and I have just found out they are planning to have their dc christened. I am very surprised as neither parent attends church and they didn't get married in church.
The whole thing feels like a hypocritical farce, I don't think I can sit there and listen to them make promises they have no intention of keeping just for the sake of a party.

I attend a baptist church.

As previously stated, C of E

Ah is baptist church the ones who belive in belivers baptisms and don't do christenings?

Probably best if you don’t attend, you seem seem very rigid in your views and I’m sure they won’t be appreciated on the day.

They refused for one of the babies in the NCT group I went to. The parents went back to their old university and the Chaplain did it.

Quick question. Have you prayed about this issue? In this situation I would bring it directly to God rather than Mumsnet. I've been in a similar position before and it all worked out, but I approached it very prayerfully.

@HolidaysMakeMeHappy

I would be celebrating the new baby, thanking God for them and praying for a long and happy life for them. I would let the parents celebrate the baby and enjoy/use the christening in the way they wanted to. I wouldn't not go just because the parents don't have the same view of christenings and the promises involved as I do. We can't all believe the same things. Even within my church, we aren't all a hive mind. We have different opinions on different things.

If I was close to these family members, I would go and support my family.

In my experience, C of E’s are without exception, the most sanctimonious ‘religious’ people I have met.

Catholics are much more relaxed about the world and their aunt rocking up to church only when it’s suits them. They tend to focus on their own faith rather than disapproving of others.

I am a delighted godmother to three siblings. I used to be a Christian but am not now. It doesn't affect my excellent relationship with them.
Back in the day I believed I should teach them about Christianity: but, having seen the hypocrisy of church members... nah, that's not a thing I would do.
I am happy to just be a supportive person in their lives: send them treats; listen to them; and support them in whatever way I can.

Sorry I meant the people arranging the christening (the parents).

Mine were Christened because that’s what their parental grandparents and their dad wanted but I’m with you.

Well, because the Jesus of the gospels would say ‘Don’t be a Pharisee’ and ‘Let she who is without sin cast the first stone’, and the OP wants people to agree that she should boycott the baptism.

OP, I understand your discomfort and would probably feel similar myself. CofE myself, I agree that the important part of a christening is the promises being made by the parents and godparents, and a genuine intention to bring the child up with knowledge of the gospel. While the "welcoming into the church" bit is also very helpful, that's as much about being part of the church family as anything else. (my children were christened at evening service, at our vicar's suggestion, as that was the one we attended. The eldest also had a non-baptised "atheist godparent" with our vicar's blessing; he correctly surmised we were fairly unlikely to need help with bringing up our children in the church. They went on to choose to be confirmed unusually early, at 11 and 12 respectively)

Personally I think I'd probably go, and take a well-considered gift (eg a good children's bible story book if you can find a nicely illustrated one). And express baffled surprise if the parents try to complain about it...

Judgy much? You don't know why they are doing it or where their spiritual/religious lives are.

YANBU to say no. Don’t go if you don’t want to but your attitude as a Christian is disappointing.

I am an active Christian (C of E) and I do feel it’s these sorts of attitudes that puts people off being active in the church at all. The idea of judgmental preachy Christians shunning you for the way you are living your life doesn’t exactly make you want to contribute to the roof fund does it.

It doesn’t matter if someone isn’t doing it perfectly, or only for tradition. The fact is they are asking us to welcome an innocent new life into the family of God, and even if they don’t believe, we do, and I for one am happy to welcome them in.

If the Rector is happy then I don’t see there being an issue.

And anyway I personally love a big family ‘do so would happily go for some cake and a catch up! And baby snuggles of course

They may ask you to be a Godparent in that case.

OP, as a Baptist, doesn't agree with infant baptism anyway and doesn't think it confers anything special on the baby or family.

Then do the wacky new fangled thing, just say you can't make it, try it you might like it

I hate the MN often suggested "buy a bible" because it will put the parents in their place. I had 50 guests at my child's Christening. Do you think 50 bibles is a good idea? There are lots of appropriate presents and in my experience a children's bible is normally a gift from Godparents, not people trying to show the parents what's what.

Shame on any Christian who gives a bible with the hope they can "express baffled surprise if the parents try to complain about it." If you can't give a present with genuine generosity please don't bother.

What would Jesus do?

Nothing wrong with a bible story book. They are good stories with good morals and suited to the theme of the day.

That isn't the spirit that the suggestion is made. It is always a gotcha to greedy parents who are only having a Christening to have a party and get presents so stick it to them and give them a bible. It is a deeply unpleasant attitude and something I have only ever heard of on MN and it really shocks me that Christians wish to abuse the bible in this way.

You might have noticed I said in my experience it is something a Godparent typically gives and you don't need one from every guest.

Worry about your own soul and leave others to worry about their own hypocrisy, it's between them and God.

No need for you to make a performance of disapproval. That's a totally unChristian thing to do.

The Christian thing to do would be to go in genuine love and goodwill and pray that something about this occasion may bring them closer to God now or in the unforseen future.

You don't know what's in their hearts. Just like they don't know what unchristian judgement is in yours. And they don't need to know, take it to God ask him for guidance to do what he wants you to here.

And Christians giving bibles passively aggressively to shame others is just about the most hypocritical unchristian thing I've ever heard 🤣🤣

We are all flawed, you and them, you can choose to spread division here or connect in genuine love.

It is a funny one, I didn't christen my children because I only occasionally go to church and don't believe (but do quite like the community spirit)
I do take them to messy church because they enjoy it.

You sound judgemental. Maybe they have faith at a level that is different to yours. God won't mind. Surely it's better to start with a Christening than never start at all (from inside the faith POV)?

I declined to be Godmother to my brother's child because at the time we were not church going, my late mother was so angry because 'her side' would get another slot!