To not go to this Christening?

[HolidaysMakeMeHappy]

Family member lives 2 hours away and I have just found out they are planning to have their dc christened. I am very surprised as neither parent attends church and they didn't get married in church.
The whole thing feels like a hypocritical farce, I don't think I can sit there and listen to them make promises they have no intention of keeping just for the sake of a party.

It would get them thinking and who knows that bible based gift might turn the child towards faith one day. Which I assume is important to OP as they are a Christian.

Perhaps you could offer to take the child to your Sunday school OP?

Yes. That's not the question people are asking you though, is it?

Doesn't mean you have to go.

Catch a bad cold on the day. Or a vomiting bug. Or be away on holiday. Or have a church event.

I would not care about any church vows to a diety I do not believe in. However, I feel marriage is different. It is a legal contract, but also vows made to a person I love. I would never have a church wedding.

@HolidaysMakeMeHappy It seems to just be unpopular to have a faith on MN. As an actively practicing Catholic I can appreciate what you're saying. You're right, baptism is a sacrament. Literally sacred. Of the heart.
Christening is the naming part, baptism is the water over the head part.

The same goes for marriage in terms of sacrament as you rightly point out. There will always be people who pay lip service to religious ceremonies. I guess ultimately you will get out of the sacrament what you put into it. If you don't have faith in it, then no it won't do a lot for you. But a loving priest will baptise a child if the parents ask them to, and likely pray that the family feel the love and kindness of the church. What's the alternative really? Love is at the heart of it all, and even when the couple aren't actively practicing their faith I would hope it's still being done with love.

It is entirely your choice whether you attend or not. If it were me, I would attend and pray that the family might be guided to the faith through their lives and yes I would give a religiously based gift (nothing wild, but a baby Bible or a nice silver baby bangle with a cross or similar on it).

But the parents will have memories it, and the guests. And there will be photos and a celebration to mark the tradition.

How many people that get babies christened on church are religious? Very few, I’d guess. How many people get married in a church for the religious aspect? Hardly any.

It would get them thinking how pompous and rude op is. Making things deliberately awkward, because you are judging someone else is not compatible with Christian teachings. That would be hypocrisy.

This is what happens when religion is taken too literally.
Conflict and division instead of live and let live.

Either go or don't go but stop being so pompous about it.

C’mon, the wording used in these ceremonies is ancient traditional and utterly meaningless these days unless you’re planning to embark on a 21st Century crusade with a load of Knights? 😂

@MargotBamborough

Yes I have been invited and will be expected to go.

But you're still confessing your faith to God and promising to raise the child as faithful to Christ no matter what language is used.

It isn't meaningless.

@Flakey99 I wonder if you would be so bluntly disparaging of Hindu faith, Islam, Buddhism, Sikhism...
I apologise I do not mean just you but yours was the most recent comment I spotted that had no qualms about diminishing someone's faith. I am not poo-pooing atheism, agnostics etc. I can respect your right to your own faith or choice to not follow any faith. Would be nice to see that same respect returned.

All the same, I suspect you are overestimating the number of tears that will be shed if you don't.

How ridiculous!

Would a Christian see the false profession of faith as a sin?

Ok don't ask questions then. But a bible based gift is appropriate and could lead to the child having genuine interest

I totally agree, and I'm not religious. I despise hypocrisy.

‘Live and let live’ is not Christian theology. A baptism is a Christian sacrament to bring your child into the family of the church.

If you don’t have faith or even want a connection with the Christian church why bother making pointless vows to it? You are essentially being brazen liars in front of your whole family and wasting the time of the poor vicar.

People who do this really are thick and lack integrity and manners.

I agree with you @Screamingabdabz

@minipeony So it's important to be clear on what sin means. Sin means to aim for the right thing but miss the target, so firing an arrow and just missing the target.
So in that sense yes it could be a sin depending on the intent behind the action. It's not as cut and dried as declaring it a sin as we don't have the actual parents' views within this thread. What might be more accurate would be to say it's heretical rather than sinful. Hope that helps.

Op I'm a Christian and lots of of my friends have kids who go through various Catholic sacraments that I don't practise or believe in..snd neither do they! It's just for the party.

I use the opportunity to give the child a part of my faith and give a children's Bible, or a devotional or a cross necklace because I think that if you can't share Christ's love at a Christening then when can you! So I would go, be gracious and in your heart, keep God at the centre of the day. Its not for you to judge your family's hearts (as frustrating as it may seem) but see the day as being between the child and God and view it through the lens of the baby having a special day, where you can prayerfully contemplate God watching over them.

Generally, yes, they’re all equally repugnant and I’d rather we got rid of all formal religious worship as it doesn’t seem to have been particularly helpful to the human race over the last few thousand years as it’s essentially another form of control of the masses. (!)

That said, I support an individuals right to follow any religion they choose to, but it should always be on a personal basis. When that person chooses to pontificate about how others should act when it involves the same faith, then they’ve lost the moral high ground and they can piss right off.

Have a party in a pub or have a party if it’s just about memories and guest and photos. 🙄

And actually every wedding and baptism is carried out in church assumes there is a religious conviction behind it. The whole congregation prays over it. Just because you want to make a mockery of it doesn’t change that.

Religious ceremonies marking major life events (birth, marriage, death) have a social and communal function as well as a spiritual one. As well as the purely religious aspect, a Christening is also about ceremonially introducing a new baby to your extended family and community. That has value to many people even if they do not have a strong religious faith.
Why not have a chat about your feelings to your vicar or someone like that OP? It sounds like for family harmony it would probably be ideal for you to find a way to attend this event even though you class with this child’s parents on the relative importance of religious faith (as compared to religious tradition, culture or social cohesion).

I'm wondering what it is you don't believe, given you are Christian?
Baptism is the parents and godparents agreeing to teach their child the Christian faith and raise them with those values.
First communion is the child's first chance of joining in communion with their church. They then get to try out the full experience of being in communion with their parish.
It is meant to be the first of hundreds, possibly thousands over their life. Not just a day.
Confirmation is when the child is old enough to make their own choice to join the church. They decide based on the many years they've experienced and they are of course allowed to say no and not fully join. That is their right.
I can't see what about any of that would be such a struggle to believe if you are identifying yourself as Christian. Hope that doesn't sound confrontational, tricky to get the tone in a forum so I apologise if it comes across that way. Genuinely curious.