Bedtime for 13yo

[sprinkleblush]

DC is 13, will be 14 just before Xmas

Solo parent with zero childcare ever (literally never)

So DC bedtime is 830, lights out 930

Up at 630am and usually tired!

AIBU in thinking that's not too early to go to bed?

That seems early for a teenager.

It seems pretty early to me but then yours is tired in the morning so could be tight for you.

My 11 yo has a 10pm bedtime. Some of her extra curricular activities don't even finish till 930.

It seems waaaaay too early to me (but my DD is a born night owl who would only ever have gone to bed at 8:30pm if she was ill!)

My DD is about to turn 13 and gets up at 7am on school days. She goes to bed at about 10pm. She has 2 nights a weeks where activities keep her out till 9:30pm!

My just turned 14yo is in bed at 10 lights out 10.30.. has to be up at 7.30, though he usually wakes up himself naturally before 7.30. 9.30 seems early for that age.

Same as my DC who are both 13. Up later in holidays and weekends. But 8.30pm school nights. They are so tired by that time!

That seems early. My 12 year old goes to bed at 9.20, lights out at 10pm on school nights and I would have thought that was early. My 9 year old goes to bed at 9pm!

My 14.9 yo is lights out by 10 on a school night
Later at weekends (although up for work at 5.45 on Sat)

I think its fine, particularly if getting up at 6.30pm. Kids seem to be going to bed later and later these days, but the reality is they need 9-11 hours sleep! They are growing, learning....

6.30am*

My 9 year old is up an hour later! 15 year old lights out before 11 on school night.
Waay too early, sure they won't even be back from training here.

The poor kid. I parent alone as well but I stepped back when it was clear they self manage their time. He is tired because his natural body clock is set to go to bed late up late. Neuroscience has this proved. Why does he have to be up so early, is there a way to reduce this?

My Ds’s was later than that but got up later than your Ds.. does he catch up on sleep on weekends ? I would do later on weekends? Also does he go to sleep at 9.30 ? No point going to bed at that time if he doesn’t sleep x

At that age they still need around 10 hours sleep, so it depends what time she is getting up.

My daughter is 14, she starts going up to bed at 8.30, is usually lights out by 9, she gets up at 7. Loads of her friends are still sending messages and stuff at 11pm and it bugs her so much she sets DND on her phone from 9. Then they complain about being tired all the time.

Sleep is really important for teenagers, they are going through major growth spurts and need sleep to help them learn.

That seems really early. My 13yo is 10pm.on weekdays and 11pm at weekends. My 9yo is 9pm weekdays and 9:30 weekends.

They do go upstairs to their rooms much earlier though and game, watch TV etc. They know that past about 8:30 they shouldn't be disturbing dp and I, unless it's quite important or if we're having a family movie night or something together then they'll be downstairs with us later but maybe only once week.

With 10pm bedtimes how do you manage alone/couple time? I go to bed myself around 10pm lol

We are all up at 630 for work/school, usually out the door 745 and DD "needs" an hour for hair and makeup lol. She's always tired and hard to wake up, I think a later bedtime might be an issue

You don't! Having teenagers means you don't get alone/couple time unless you go to your own room yourself. It's their house too and it's just the way life is with teenagers, you can't banish them to their room for your own convenience. Or at least that's how I see it, and I have three of them. Mostly I wish they'd spend more not less time downstairs.

My 14 yr old DC goes up about 9.15, final goodnight about 9.45 so prob asleep 10/10.15. They always wake up at 6ish so I have said they can't go to bed any later as 8 hours sleep is the minimum to aim for.
So it's not early bedtime if they wake early.
And yeah, maybe 15 mins couple time as I have to try for 8 hours sleep myself.

We’ve never done set bedtimes well not since they were about 9/10 and it seems to have worked for us. My kids are 16 and 17 now and both usually sleep weekdays between 10 and 11pm. When they were younger there was the odd night they were still awake at silly o’clock but mostly they were in bed at a reasonable hour.

Too early. My 8.5 year old has a 9pm bedtime and is rarely asleep before 9.30. I really don't want to shift his bedtime any later although tbf he doesn't have to be up til about 7.30.

I'm a single parent too and it's a bit rubbish having such limited alone time but I can't make him sleep if he isn't tired

We didn’t have alone/couple time. I’m a night owl myself so never go to bed before 1ish anyway. DH usually goes up around 10pm.

That’s way too early

I have couple time in the privacy of our room. And noone here takes an hour 15 to get ready. Up shower, get dressed, breakfast out the door in 45 minutes.

I don't think it's too early if she's tired and hard to wake in the mornings. Some people just need more sleep. I always needed a lot more than my brother growing up.

That's way too early for a 13/14yo.

I'd say 10-10.30pm is more appropriate for the age.

Can you make bedtime 9pm and lights out at 9.30pm, maybe 10pm on a Friday and Saturday night?

Mine is 12, will be 13 early next year. Bedtime varies depending on what day it is and what's going on. It's 10.30pm ish on Mondays and Wednesdays as he's out training until 9.30pm and we don't get home until 10pm. Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday it's usually screens off by 9pm, lights out by 9.30pm. Friday and Saturday usually about 10pm lights out. He's up at 7am Monday to Friday, up by midday on a Saturday and Sunday unless he has to be anywhere.

We've always been pretty relaxed with bedtimes. He was a dreadful sleeper when younger so I just decided to chill out about it and we seem to have found a routine that works pretty well.

His younger brother is 7 and has bedtime around 8pm, lights out by 8.30pm usually. He's up at 7.30am every day, including weekends.

DH and I watch tv together from 9-11.30ish, I usually go to bed about midnight, up at 6.30-7am. Probably should go to bed earlier!

They are in their rooms chilling or whatever, it's not like they're sitting downstairs with us.

When they were younger I used to insist they went to chill in their rooms from a particular time and from about 12/13 they have always managed their lights out time themselves. Never had an issue (17 and 15 now) and they always get up for school/college/work with no problem.

If she is too tired then surely it's fine for her to stick to an earlier bed time, if she doesn't want to then let her try later and if she's tired she soon go back to an earlier time.