To think we should up the age of consent to 18?

[whatnet]

I just have this utterly sick feeling about the constant narrative pushed in the UK about a CHILD being ‘16’ and therefore, “what is your problem?”… “it’s ‘legal’” I am so sick of the exploitation of our girls in this country. Our CHILDREN. Our future. Who do not have a voice, because they are children. They need to be protected. I will pre empt some of your arguments. The UK government has classified the violence against Women and Girls as a “National Threat”

https://lordslibrary.parliament.uk/tackling-violence-against-women-and-girls-in-the-uk/

A 16 year old girl is a child and should be protected as a child, by law.

Yes an entirely sensible suggestion to raise to 18. If there is already a parliamentary petition on this topic, please can someone share.
Depressing number of creeps and their apologists in this thread.

Stella, completely agree. You guys are really restoring my faith in humanity. I feel like never watching or reading the news again sometimes when report after report comes in about young girls being abused and nothing changes. We all have our anecdotal experiences of girls being groomed and abused, or worse (as evident on here) direct experiences- in fact most of us could probably relay some sort of direct experience that a much older male had made some inappropriate sexual advance when we were well below the age of consent. I was doing my usual mum duties and running around teenage girls and we were discussing boys etc… and every single one of the young teenage girls had been shouted at out a car window, or approached by, or had an older male make them feel uncomfortable. Nothing has changed! It is endemic and we need legislation to protect our children.

Thanks limecourt. It’s depressing but so glad the majority of us are on the same page.

100% agree. If everyone on the thread emailed their MP with this issue that would help get it up the political agenda. At the moment it’s nowhere.

@glossypeach just wanted to say, sorry to hear that. What an awful experience but good on you for keeping a strong moral compass and standing up for what is right.

Sugarfree23 · 21/09/2023 09:10

“I think any sort of age gap law will just lead to confusion, and not really help anyone. What people think is morally right or wrong is a different matter.

You either accept someone at 16 is old enough to make up their own mind or they aren't.

The girls who I consider to have been groomed were well below 16.
Think about the girls who you were in school with boasting about their 20/30 something boyfriends. That's who the law is trying to protect and it failed in the 90s and probably still fails them now.

The girls who I know who went on to marry much older men, met when they were 18/19. One in work, one in a nightclub and one at uni.

So few men are ever convicted of rape that tinkering around the edges of statutory rape isn't going to help anyone.”

In response to the above

“So few men are ever convicted of rape that tinkering around the edges of statutory rape isn't going to help anyone.”

🤢 It is absolutely correct and necessary that we need to change societal attitudes.

I am going to do that annoying thing and include a quote,

“Norms and law also have an impact on each other. Sometimes the law can be a strong influence on a change in norms, by forcing a change in conduct that gradually becomes accepted throughout society or by inducing a change in the perceptions about the propriety of certain conduct.“

I would argue that we need a change in “norms” in the UK when it comes to our 16 and 17 year old children being exploited.

If we raise it to 18, how long until people call for it to be raised to 21?

I should have also said, changing the ‘norms’ for both 16 and 17 year old girls AND boys.

DoItAgainPlz · Today 23:38

If we raise it to 18, how long until people call for it to be raised to 21?

I find that to be unlikely and a strange argument.

All of you saying 16£17 should be allowed but raise to 18 are forgetting that at some point one of those 17 year olds will be 18 before the other.
should be more like between 16-18 no more than 2/3 year age gap.
but it should apply to protect boys as well,

I think 16 is probably too high , i would say 15 is more appropeiate like much of Europe.i do think there should be a maximum age gap for under 18s though

healthadvice123 · Today 23:41

All of you saying 16£17 should be allowed but raise to 18 are forgetting that at some point one of those 17 year olds will be 18 before the other.
should be more like between 16-18 no more than 2/3 year age gap.
but it should apply to protect boys as well,

Agreed, boys of 16 and 17 should be protected as well. The HE and PS situation was very high profile, and I think did not sit comfortably with most, especially those with teenage sons. Boys must be protected too.

“All of you saying 16£17 should be allowed but raise to 18 are forgetting that at some point one of those 17 year olds will be 18 before the other.
should be more like between 16-18 no more than 2/3 year age gap.”

Nope, we are not concerned about those age gaps one bit. It seems bonkers that we are still even having this discussion. No one is interested in going after consensual teens, who will always find a way. As so many posters have explained, much more eloquently than me. This is not the issue. It concerns me that this constant narrative seems like ‘smoke and mirrors’ over the real issue, predators and children. It is utterly baffling that anyone would prioritise this ridiculous narrative over the safety of children.

curaçao · Today 23:49

“I think 16 is probably too high , i would say 15 is more appropeiate like much of Europe.i do think there should be a maximum age gap for under 18s though”

Concerning

I think it was worse years ago, when I was 16/17 early 90’s most of us had boyfriends in mid 20’s and thats kind of what we aimed fir, was out clubbing and in bars no id required
my now 20 year old won’t ever go out with anyone even below 18 as says two big a gao, my 18 year old has a 17 year old girlfriend( would say she is more mature than him) for a couple of weeks she was 16 he was 18 ( as they met as 16/17 year olds) my son hated it as felt it seemed a bigger gap then the 13 months it actually is.
so maybe out younger generation are more aware that large age gaps when younger isn’t ideal

@whatnet ut you have a law that says 18 its a fact that an 18 year old could be prosecuted for sleeping with a 17 year old, therefore as others have suggested an age gap below a certain age would be more appropriate
you can’t have a law and say but we can ignore it because one day someone may just use that law, so therefore it should be clear what is the law and what isn’t

How is it concerning? You can't legislate against every single possible chance of exploitation.

Introducing legal age gaps isn't workable - who decides the age gap? Is three years too much? The state can't micromanage other people's relationships to such an extent.

https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/rape-and-sexual-offences-chapter-7-key-legislation-and-offences

So, to look at prosecutions, the CPS will consider,

• The sexual and emotional maturity of the parties and any emotional or physical effects resulting from the conduct; and
• The likely impact of any prosecution on the parties.

Stop complicating the issue. It is worrying that this is so hard to grasp and exposes a wider societal problem that should be addressed immediately to protect our vulnerable children. Why is it not happening? Who controls the narrative? Who is in power? Who makes the decisions? Who protects our children? Why are we not all on the same page?

No one is out to prosecute teenagers FFS 🤦‍♀️. Why is this so hard to understand. It is hugely concerning.

“How is it concerning? You can't legislate against every single possible chance of exploitation.

Introducing legal age gaps isn't workable - who decides the age gap? Is three years too much? The state can't micromanage other people's relationships to such an extent.”

They should probably check backgrounds/hard drives of those who are so opposed to protecting children over nonsense arguments.

Excuse me?

You can check my hard drive all you want.

All laws are a compromise and I believe the age of consent being set at 16 is generally fair and reasonable. That doesn't make me a paedophile or make me celebrate the exploitation of young people.

As someone who was groomed and abused aged 14-15 by a man who was 29-30 I would absolutely recommend the legal age rise.

Those of you arguing teenagers are just hormonal and horny- yeah no problem, if it's consensual and they are similar in age.

The problem is ADULT men taking advantage of children.

The police are barely interested in actual sexual abuse cases, let alone arresting two horny consensual teenagers.

What RB is accused of doing with 'Alice' SHOULD be illegal

Honestly, given you've stated in a previous post that you want to raise the age of consent to 21(!) I question whether you're actually not some kind of troll or religious nut.

DoItAgainPlz · Today 00:58

“Honestly, given you've stated in a previous post that you want to raise the age of consent to 21(!) I question whether you're actually not some kind of troll or religious nut.”

I do not want to up the age of consent to 21, I was just exasperated with the whole “16” narrative. I think my approach has been pretty consistent and clear throughout the thread, except from that one reactionary response.

I also think it is clear that I am not a “troll” or “religious nut” What is your motivation for pushing this narrative?

No you can't, even with parental consent.

You have to be 18.

Scotland is still 16, nothing to stop English or Welsh kids crossing the border.