To think we should up the age of consent to 18?

[whatnet]

I just have this utterly sick feeling about the constant narrative pushed in the UK about a CHILD being ‘16’ and therefore, “what is your problem?”… “it’s ‘legal’” I am so sick of the exploitation of our girls in this country. Our CHILDREN. Our future. Who do not have a voice, because they are children. They need to be protected. I will pre empt some of your arguments. The UK government has classified the violence against Women and Girls as a “National Threat”

https://lordslibrary.parliament.uk/tackling-violence-against-women-and-girls-in-the-uk/

A 16 year old girl is a child and should be protected as a child, by law.

Whilst I see where you're coming from it's unrealistic. 16 seems like a sensible age to start having sex as long as it's with a peer. I had sex at that age and so did most of my friends most of us with boyfriends who were 17 or 18 (all of us were at sixth form). The issue is 16/17 year olds having sex with adults where there is a clear power imbalance, which is obviously wrong, however I don't see how changing age of consent will prevent that happening.

I think 16, however it’s 16 because some 16 year olds have sex with other 16 year olds, 17, 18 year olds. It isn’t designed so some creep in their twenties or above can have sex with them. So it would probably be beneficial to have a bit of flexibility, so if you’re 16 they can’t be more than x days older than you, having days rather than a year rule would prevent a couples sex life becoming illegal when the older one turned 18.

Agreed.. Can't imagine doing it so young. And I'm no prude in my sex life.

I think the age should stay 16, where both partners are under 18. It should be older, 18, where one partner is aged over 20.

Years ago ( it may have changed) I worked in a school and we were told if we became aware of year 9 or younger having sex, it should be a safeguarding referral. Year 10 and year 11 having sex with each other may be illegal but the police wouldn't do much. Probably not worth filling the form out. Year 10 or 11 where one partner was older, or an element of grooming or coercion was expected, would merit a safeguarding referral.

And 6th formers, nobody cares what they do.

So I think really the consent rules need to be in line with what the police will do to enforce the law.

I feel really strongly about this. My ex was/is the most awful human. He was early 30s and trying to message multiple 16/17 year old girls. It’s obvious he would have gone lower, but because this age is ‘legal’ he knew he could get away with it. A 30 year old wanting to ‘get with’ actual children. He got caught out and claimed he done nothing wrong as it’s legal and in typical abusive, narcissistic fashion he acted like a victim and got everyone to send me hate because I factually stated that he was a pedophile. Comes out after we broke up that he was trying to contact my sisters 15 year old friend but that’s a different story for another day.

I sort of agree but also I don't think it's fair to criminalise 16 and 17 year olds for having sex with each other.

I agree. It's as simple as no one over 20 can have sex with someone under 18. That means there's never a big age gap with a 16 yo and 30+ yo.

My brother met his DW when she was 16 and he was 19, both at college as he had to do his level 2 equivalent again for a year before A levels, he was definitely a teenager more than a man. Nothing dodgy or weird at all. Not all 16 yo girls are immature and vulnerable. Nothing wrong with teens having a BF/GF of a similar age at all but by having an older age of consent for people over 20 you resolve many if these power imbalance issues and coercive relationships, we've seen it time and again with footballers and much younger girls.

YANBU - I’ve thought this for ages. Raise the age of consent to 18 and protect children.

I completely agree, with staggering so you can have sex with your peers but afford some/more protection against older men who prey on girls and boys under the age of 18.

Can't see the tories ever doing it though, hopefully we'll get a gov who would soon

The marriage age was raised to 18 last year or the year before in England and Wales. Before that you needed parental permission before 18. Not in Scotland, which has very weird double standards like considering rapists under 25 as little boys but wanting the vote at 16, marriage at 16 and gender medical transition at any age at all. But also a named adult, luckily scrapped, to 18.

It was actually February 2023. That's seven months ago.

No one needs to get married at 16.

the age of consent should be about the age difference between the participants. Two 14 year olds may be young, but they are equally young and equally able to enter into decisions together. Having sex may be a bad idea, but it shouldn’t be illegal.

a 16 year old and a 20 year old on the other hand is a problem. (If they happen to be a perfect match and soul mates or whatever people want to claim, then postponing the relationship while the younger one matures will simply make a better and stronger relationship)

Is this meant to be ironic? There was far more exploitation of girls and women in the 50s than is tolerated now

In reality someone would need to report them which is unlikely if parents are happy, or even if they disapprove. Lots of parents disapprove of their under 16 year olds having sex but few would report their own child unless they thought their child was being harmed.

I actually think a 16 and a 20 year old is ok. It would be my cut off point – 20 and under for 16 year olds, 21 and under for 17 year olds.

It must be rough where you live! Most 17yos I know are no where near ready. According to my teens there is lots of big talk, but very few 15 or even 16 years old are active unless they have partners. Raising consent to sex would protect kids from older men. Everyone was rightly outraged that Prince Andrew had sex with a 17yo in America, but in the UK it would be acceptable by law, which is wrong.

OP, you totally fail to understand that the reason it is 16 is that it is deemed a sensible age for the majority of people. Something I agree with.

You cannot legislate for every sleazy 30-something who is immoral enough to take advantage of someone younger than them.

Frankly, the onus is on the parents and society to demonise such men, not the courts.

Some of these suggestions are Bat shit crazy. Truly they are. A 26-year-old guy would be a criminal for having sex with a 21-year-old.
Insane.
A 23-year-old a criminal for having sex with a 17-year-old. Insane.

I guess for me anyone past their mid-twenties should not be messing about with anyone under 17.
It's the cut off for me. But do I expect the law to change? No.
It ain't that big an age gap.

All this pearl clutching is, as usual, taking attention away from serious incidences of sexual assault.

So to be frank, I hope your suggestions and those like them are ignored.

And it goes without saying that no effing way do I want a 20-year-old man criminalised for having sex with a 16 yr old.

And of course criminalising a 17-year-old for having sex with a 15 yr old benefits absolutely nobody.

I think we can agree that criminalising a pair of 15-year-olds who have consensual sex is insane.

But you have aptly demonstrated how mandating acceptable age gaps won’t work. Yes I would consider a 23 year old and a 17 year old to be inappropriate and no different to a 30 year old and 17 year old. No one here is going to agree on what is acceptable! There are mature 16 year olds and immature 18 year olds.

make the age of consent 18 with guidance that anyone caught between 16 and 19 having sex with each other is generally not in the public interest to prosecute. But if there is any degree of coercion involved then clearly it could be investigated.

once someone is 18 we have to accept at that point they are an adult and are free to have a relationship with someone of any age and it isn’t for the state to interfere with someone who is an adult’s choices (unless there is something in particular about them that would make them vulnerable)

I think any sort of age gap law will just lead to confusion, and not really help anyone. What people think is morally right or wrong is a different matter.

You either accept someone at 16 is old enough to make up their own mind or they aren't.

The girls who I consider to have been groomed were well below 16.
Think about the girls who you were in school with boasting about their 20/30 something boyfriends. That's who the law is trying to protect and it failed in the 90s and probably still fails them now.

The girls who I know who went on to marry much older men, met when they were 18/19. One in work, one in a nightclub and one at uni.

So few men are ever convicted of rape that tinkering around the edges of statutory rape isn't going to help anyone.

Thinking of sleazy men, I would have thought raising the age of consent would theoretically keep young girls out of the "sex trade" for an extra few years. Obviously it would not keep middle aged men away from decades younger women, and I can imagine problems verifying the ages of trafficked girls.

Perhaps that is another discussion.

We know there are 14/15 yos working in the sex trade. Enforcing the laws we have makes more sense than trying to introduce new ones and make life more complicated.

Yes of course there are young girls involved already, and enforcing the laws we have should be a priority, but I see no harm in raising the age. Who will it make life more complicated for?

Poptones · 21/09/2023 08:50

“OP, you totally fail to understand that the reason it is 16 is that it is deemed a sensible age for the majority of people. Something I agree with.

You cannot legislate for every sleazy 30-something who is immoral enough to take advantage of someone younger than them.

Frankly, the onus is on the parents and society to demonise such men, not the courts.

Some of these suggestions are Bat shit crazy. Truly they are. A 26-year-old guy would be a criminal for having sex with a 21-year-old.
Insane.
A 23-year-old a criminal for having sex with a 17-year-old. Insane.

I guess for me anyone past their mid-twenties should not be messing about with anyone under 17.
It's the cut off for me. But do I expect the law to change? No.
It ain't that big an age gap.

All this pearl clutching is, as usual, taking attention away from serious incidences of sexual assault.

So to be frank, I hope your suggestions and those like them are ignored.

And it goes without saying that no effing way do I want a 20-year-old man criminalised for having sex with a 16 yr old.

And of course criminalising a 17-year-old for having sex with a 15 yr old benefits absolutely nobody.

I think we can agree that criminalising a pair of 15-year-olds who have consensual sex is insane.”

I absolutely do fail to see the reason that the age of consent is 16. As I said, I completely disagree. Have you read the thread? I would say the majority do not agree with 16 and would welcome 18/Romeo and Juliet Law.

”Frankly, the onus is on the parents and society to demonise such men, not the courts.” The courts fail women and children time and time again when it comes to such issues. Raising the age of consent is to force the courts to change their attitude and regard 16 and 17 year olds as children goes some way to changing societal attitudes. Why would attitudes change if there is no deterrent?

It has been said many times, no one is trying to criminalise teenagers, that would be “batshit crazy” what is more batshit crazy is those who would rather advocate for the protection of adult predators over children.

Sorry, typed that response too quickly.

Raising the age of consent could force the courts to change their approach, and view 16 and 17 year olds as children. Raising the age of consent could also go some way to changing societal attitudes, such as your own.

I totally agree with you op.
I think if young people-16-18 want to have sex with people their own age that’s one thing and it can’t really be legislated against but let’s at least try to protect our children from predators.
I always remember being in first year secondary- so around 12 years old- and a classmate would be collected by her boyfriend after school. He’d wait for her in his car. She would wear sexy underwear and talk about their sex life and it was so normal for her. It was all so bizarre to me I was still playing with my dolls house I’m sure. I didn’t have sex until I was 20. Unfortunately that person was a much older predatory man so I didn’t have a good experience of men in any way.

16 year olds are schoolchildren. At least let them be adults and raise the age to 18