To ask about your work/childcare situation

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I've been wfh since 2020 and I'm thinking of having a change. The perks and flexibility are fabulous. However it's done nothing for my mental and physical health. The weight has piled on, I live in holey leggings and I rarely see another adult in a professional capacity. I always thought working from home would be the dream but it's wearing thin after nearly 4 years. I'm lonely and bored.

The one major perk is being here for my dc. I've been able to do the school run, skimp a bit on nursery costs by having my youngest home with me on one of my working days (boss aware of this and very easy going providing my work gets done) and been able to attend most school commitments without having to juggle or mess about like my office based mum friends do.

So I guess I feel selfish about thinking of going back into the office because I wouldn't be as present for dc. I'd have to put my youngest in nursery for at least another day and probably rely on family to help a bit too. I'd still only be working three days so I'd get two days off to be at home. And weekends too.

What are your dc ages and how many hours do you work? And if they are little how do you manage childcare? I've got myself in such a bubble of home working that I've forgotten that other people have to navigate this stuff (doctors appointments, sick days, school assemblies) and mostly seem to manage it.

I have two who are pre-school age and work 4 days. I teach so twice a week leave earlyish and do more work after the children are in bed. This doesn't save on childcare because they still need a full day. I'm lucky my husband is flexible in terms of taking time off for appointments and illness as it would be difficult otherwise.

Completely wfh. One DC aged 4.
I've got flexitime though, so I swim 3 x a week in the morning and workout 3 x a week on my lunchbreak. Work school hours and again in the evenings for a few hours.

I've never been able to work from home as I'm a scientist (lab based). 1 DD aged 5, she's just started year 1. I have always worked 3 or 4 days, with a 30 mile commute, since she was 8 months old. She did 2 days at nursery, 2 days with MIL then 3 days at pre school 1 with MIL.
Since she started school, with the distance I work away it's been hard for me to make school commitments however I'm always there for drop offs , sports day and Christmas plays.
I used after-school club 3 days and partner picked her up the other 2.
Have a new job much closer to home starting soon so I hope it gets easier!
You say you have family help, this will make it smoother-and cheaper! -for you. Part time is great aswell! It sounds like a good move. How far away is the office?

4 and 1. Work 4 days, 2 days in the office and 2 WFH. Youngest is in nursery 4 days a week and oldest is now in school with ASC 3 days a week. DH really pulls his weight with drop offs, pick ups, school commitments, doctors’ appointments, etc.

I work full time from home with a 4 year old and at present have NO yes NO childcare.

He has ALN and I'm presently waiting on a school placement to get back to me after the last 1 fell through

It's beyond stressful, I'm drained, stressed and permanently anxious.
It's covid all over again except I don't even have the comfort of anyone else being in the same boat

The usual childcare avenues just aren't open to you when your child has additional needs and door after door just shuts in your face

Work full time with no scope to WFH, have done since DS was 9 months old. He’s almost 11 now (last year of primary). Used full nursery until he was at school and then used breakfast and after school club from then onwards.

4 and 1, I work three evenings (sometimes 4-midnight, sometimes 2-10, occasionally 12-8) a week from home. One of those days is a Sunday so no childcare needed as DH covers that. 4yo is in nursery three days, 1yo two days. I have both at home Tues and Wednesdays and just 1yo on Thursdays.

I wouldn't go back to an office every day environment but I do like to go in sometimes. Also because I have time in the day on Mondays and Fridays, I will do stuff like go swimming, etc. then.

It works super well for us, because I am around in days for all appointments etc.

I work 3 days a week. Child goes to childminder now and then when I return from mat leave baby will too and older child will go to pre-school when we get our 30 hours.

I'm NHS clinical staff. I do drop offs and pick ups because its on my way and husband works evenings. All appointments etc are done on my days off or I have to take annual leave.
Could you go into the office a couple of days a week but keep working from home the other days?

Currently 1 x 18m and next year it will be a 2.5 and one year old!

I do 3 days in 2 days WFH. I have an agreement my calendar is blocked 4-7pm as default and I flex as needed (with notice) for work related calls. I also sometimes work between 8-10pm

My company is fairly flexible because they ask a lot.
my DH is close to fully remote.

Both our jobs are demanding (mine more so) but because we have flexibilty and excellent childcare 8am-6pm 5 days a week it works well.

Our childcare is also geographically convenient (like 400m away from the house towards the tube) which makes a much bigger difference than I anticipated. I expected it to be easier but it really makes everything SO much easier.

I insist my partner does half, with no whinging.

Do you have a partner? When I didn't it was much harder, I used nannies and it was still incredibly hard.

I'm a teacher with primary aged children, no family help and DH works out of the home too. I work 3.5 days. When the kids were young they went to nursery and now we use breakfast and after school club - sharing drop offs and pick ups depending on what our work schedules look like.
I sometimes envy the flexibility of WFH but I think like you, I'd be lonely. I go to the gym at 6am or at the weekends so time is tight. We don't always manage to make school assemblies, concerts or Christmas events etc but if it's on my day off or DH can take some time out of his day then we manage it.

If you have family around to help then that should ease a lot of the burden.

Kids are 5 and 3, we both work Monday-Friday. DH mostly in the office, I'm a bit of both.

3 yo is in full-time nursery.

5 yo goes to after school club three days a week. We each finish early and pick her up once a week, and then work late on the day the other is off.

We never WFH without childcare, has never worked for us.

It's fine. Busy and stressful, but fine.

I'm a single parent. I work 30 hours across 5 days. My kids are 8 and 5. I drop them off at school every morning then 2x a week they go to after school club, 2x a week my mum picks them up and 1x a week either i or their dad pick them up. I'm in the office 2 days a week and wfh the other 3.

Holidays are a mix between my annual leave, my ex's annual leave, my mum and holiday clubs.

I have childcare arranged for when I'm working with no exceptions apart from if kids are unwell. This is partly because I find wfh stressful with kids around and also because my employer's policy is quite clear that wfh shouldn't be used as an alternative to childcare and we are still expected to make arrangements. It can be enormously stressful but other than that it mostly works for now. I'll probably keep things as they are until my eldest goes to secondary or if I change jobs.

One child in year 1

I WFH so juggle around WFH with help from grandparents & holiday clubs cover school holidays. Grandparents also help after school and I use after school clubs twice a week.

WFH doesn’t have to be a negative on physical & mental health - I use my breaks & time saved on commute to run / cycle / hike / do yoga and have never been fitter! I have joined a couple of local groups to ensure I don’t become isolated.

could you make some lifestyle changes before giving up WFH??

I work FT

I work from home.

Yes I do work with the children in the house. But mine are 6 and 10 and can gk a good couple of hours without bothering me.

I do make plans for the summer holidays though as I can’t concentrate all day with them in the house.

WFH 3-4 days a week, DH wfh full time.

We have DD1 who has just started school. She doesn't do breakfast or after school club. I walk her to school, and DH picks her up. He starts early to enable an early finish. He picks her up on what is effectively a very late lunch break, she entertains herself for half an hour while he finishes work, then he's done for the day. His boss is aware and happy with this.

DD2 is in nursery 4 days a week and with PILs 1 day. I drop her off before taking DD1 to school (DH is working by this point) and pick her up after I finish for the day. DH is generally sorting dinner and looking after DD1 at this time.

On days I'm in the office, i'm still able to do the drop offs, and pick up DD2, as we live fairly close to where I work.

Obviously this is pretty new as DD1 has just started school. Before that, both girls were in nursery 4 days and with PILs 1 day.

It helps having us both wfh the majority of the time. It's much easier for us to split the school run, dr appointments, picking up the girls if they're ill etc.

DS age 3. Nursery 5 days a week, full days M-W and newly reduced hours 9-3 TF which saves money.

I'm in office 3-4 days a week and atleast 37 hours. Also travel for work sometimes.
On all Thurs and some Fri he is with me and just watches cartoons for the last hour of me working which my boss supports.

BUT I am walking distance to the office and nursery is halfway. I can't fathom a commute!

Watching with interest as I have an 11 yr old dc. Would love to go back to the office, but feel like now might be the worst time - too old for a lot of the provision available, too young to be alone for long stretches. And teenagers - is that just a recipe for disaster?

Dc are primary aged. I work 33 hours per week - 2 full days and 3 short days. DH picks up from after school club on my two long days and does drop off 3x, I pick up on my short days and do drop off 2x.

I've always done 4 days, when dc were nursery aged I did two half days and two full days. The half days expanded when they reached school age and I could pick up at 3pm.

I'm in the office every day, I hate WFH, but I only have a 15 minute commute. I also don't see the appeal of trying to combine work and childcare - I can only do one thing at a time!

When I went back to work after maternity leave (retail so can't really do it from home!) both me and my DH went part time (4 days). He was in nursery 2 days a week 8-6 and we split the rest. Now he's at school and I work mostly mornings so can do pickups and DH drop offs but I do also do Saturdays which may not be possible with all jobs.

I recognise a lot of this and myself in the OP. I'm
fatter and more lethargic and generally lazier than in 2019. But it's soooo convenient for everyone else.

My current situation is working 24 hours with two full days contracted and the rest very flexible. Because it's from home I can usually pick and choose my hours to an extent. So if I need to attend school or an appointment I can log off early and make the time up later or the following day. It's one of the main reasons I've stayed in this job so long.

The new job I've been offered is 22.5 hours over 3 days and all office based. So I'd be doing 3 7.5 days in the office then two days off.

Dh could take primary age ds to and from school as it's on his way to work. Toddler would go to nursery 2 full days and it's just the third day that would be the problem. Parents are willing to help but I don't think they'd commit to a full day every single week as they work themselves and are pretty busy.

Dh does have the option to work from home so I'm sure between us all it's achievable I just don't know if I'm being selfish or silly to give up such a flexible (albeit very unfulfilling) job for something completely new. It feels like a big risk.

DH and I both work full time (40 hours for him 35 hours for me) compressed and each have a weekday with DD aged 2 plus weekends all together. I do 2 days wfh and DH does 1, the rest are in the office. The days are long but it works out ok.

Could you put your toddler into nursery for the third day, or is that not feasible financially?

I mean, if you are able and allowed to WFH with your toddler and work flexible hours then that’s a massive saving and I’d stay in that job.